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PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 12:01 am 
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Attachment:
b1.jpg
b1.jpg [ 292.71 KiB | Viewed 3157 times ]
DOWNLOAD KINETIC SHORT STORY v.0
Win (56MB): https://www.dropbox.com/s/yk1jpqyh5r8th ... .0-win.zip
Mac (54MB): https://www.dropbox.com/s/4jj7y1rapflam ... .0-mac.zip
Linux (56MB): https://www.dropbox.com/s/lcgeizwo3kpin ... ux.tar.bz2

TITLE: mister average
CATEGORY: Lovecraftian Horror, Slice of Life, Kinetic Short Story

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN DISTURBING OR GRAPHIC CONTENT
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


SUMMARY
A story about Daniel, a schoolboy in the New England town of Arkham who just wants
to be average and fit in with everybody elseā€”but in a calculatingly manipulative way.
How things fit is very important to him.

And things that are out of place bother him. A lot.

Unfortunately, this is Arkham, where the unusual is the norm ...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

SAMPLE IMAGES
Attachment:
cthian.jpg
cthian.jpg [ 49.88 KiB | Viewed 3157 times ]
Attachment:
chris.jpg
chris.jpg [ 32.43 KiB | Viewed 3157 times ]

-------------------------------------------------------------------

STATS
The game contains 737 dialogue blocks, containing 8,180 words and 44,925
characters, for an average of 11.1 words and 61 characters per block.
The game contains 8 menus, 52 images, and 15 screens.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

UPDATES
7/18/13: need to redo some images. gamma/contrast issues.
7/18/13: any comments, mistakes, etc. much appreciated.

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Last edited by unknown5 on Mon Nov 03, 2014 10:02 am, edited 5 times in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 12:08 am 
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Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 3:46 pm
Posts: 16
Oh wow this seems really interesting and unique!
I'll make sure to play it when I have some free time!

(Congratz on the release!!~)


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 12:31 am 
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Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2012 7:23 pm
Posts: 456
Location: Yogyakarta, Indonesia
Completed: Pharmacy Quiz, Physical Pharmacy, Tour de Pharmacy, Tour de Paseban
Projects: ERASER
Organization: VN Project Indonesia
Deviantart: SECONDARY-TARGET
It looks interesting design. I'm going to download it and drop my feedback later :D

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 5:48 am 
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thank you. hope it's okay.
i'll limit my replies. i don't want to self-bump too much.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 10:10 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2012 4:24 pm
Posts: 190
Completed: Monster Uses CPU 2, White Fog, Times Like These
Projects: Secret long term project!
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Wow, you did a pretty good job on this one. The main character was great, and I did not see that ending coming.
I mean, he used his ability to adopt to any situation so he could join the aliens and eat the girl that liked him?I mean, wow. That was... definitely a great original ending. It made nice use of the main character thinking he doesn't belong anywhere, too.


My favorite line was when Alice asked "Why isn't it safe here?" and the main character summed up his personal ideas about himself by answering "We don't fit."


Overall, this was a nice read. Can't wait for your next game!

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 5:12 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:18 am
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Completed: Tea & Sympathy, 51 cards
I love how you used minimalistic graphics to build the atmosphere. And the ending was surprising and yet it really fit. Honestly, just that emotional punch in the gut was enough to make this one of my top 10 favorite VNs.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2014 12:53 am 
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Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2003 10:06 pm
Posts: 181
Location: New Mexico, USA
Completed: The Life Brick, a visual novel for kids, by kids
Projects: Personal Space (WIP)
Organization: Cuttlefish Games
Deviantart: qirien
Github: qirien
Creeeeepy! I loved the visuals; they really helped you feel the character's other-ness.

Though, I wish the end was a little less (overtly?) rape-y.... :-( yeechhh, might want to add a trigger warning?

You did a good job of giving us just enough information to form a story without it feeling like an infodump or being too concrete; the uncertainty fuels the horror.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2014 9:50 am 
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thanks for playing!

heh, i'm just the writer. i am not responsible for the behaviors and actions of my characters. sometimes they can be such naughty, unruly children. o_O

srsly tho, i wrote three endings - good, bad, neutral.
(edit2: doh! shoulda put spoiler tag on this part *facepalm*)
but then i realized that this was impossible. there could only be one way for the story to end. the other two endings were lies, so i had to delete them.

(edit1: hmm, you make a good point. i'm not sure how to implement a warning without giving anything away. in horror, one expects to encounter unpleasant, disturbing things. perhaps a general warning along the lines of "WARNING: MAY CONTAIN DISTURBING OR GRAPHIC CONTENT"?

i guess i've become somewhat jaded to what's on the internet, so my mental/moral threshold level for awful things is out of whack. QQ)

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Last edited by unknown5 on Mon Nov 03, 2014 11:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2014 11:05 am 
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Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2003 10:06 pm
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Location: New Mexico, USA
Completed: The Life Brick, a visual novel for kids, by kids
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Organization: Cuttlefish Games
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Github: qirien
Ohh, that's why you had choices! I was confused because there were lots of choices to make, but I could only get one ending... in a way, that underscores the point even more about the inescapability of it all.

I think the warning you put in is just fine, thanks. :-)

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 12:36 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2014 6:12 am
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Location: France
Projects: Silver (VN)
Ah ah ah, and here I was trying to reach the alternative endings.

I enjoyed reading this, visuals were great, style and tone were good at setting the mood.
Reminds me a little of Higanbana, but you managed to keep your own style.
The opening menu was impressive
(those sounds !).


The only regret is for the end to be this abrupt (it states "the end", without a forced pause).
But it's very minor, I only bring it up for the sake of constructive criticism.

Thanks for creating this (weird :twisted: ) KN !


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 1:42 pm 
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ah, thank you for the criticism! i really appreciate it!

i'll have to look over the story again. some stories are easy to write, others are hard. i remember struggling with this one, so i probably made a lot of mistakes.

i also need to clean up the images, but i'm trying to finish three stories right now. and there are some typos i need to fix on some old projects. and ... QQ

anyway, i'm glad you enjoyed the story! =)

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 2:10 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2003 10:06 pm
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Completed: The Life Brick, a visual novel for kids, by kids
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Deviantart: qirien
Github: qirien
Oh yeah, one bug I thought I'd mention - if you click on "Help" from the main menu screen before you start the game, the help text is not erased and so the main text starts going off the bottom. Maybe a missing "nvl clear" at the end of the help section? Other than that it was bug- and typo-free. :-)

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2014 2:38 pm 
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augh! *facedesk* might have made the mistake converting from adv to nvl. i think i originally wrote it as adv. can't remember.

thanks! i probably would have kept repeating that mistake/bug if you hadn't told me.

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