Free Love

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Wright1000
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Free Love

#1 Post by Wright1000 »

Free Love

Samuel Gregory was a young countryman whose sister dreamt of becoming a doctor. To pay for her studies and to earn a better living, Samuel came to the city looking for a job. Even though he was a decent person, he had to get involved in an extramarital affair to get a promotion. And the person with whom he is having an affair is the wife of his boss, Lauren Brent. Even though, he is not actually sure whether he truly loves her or not, he has decided to break up with her before his boss gets suspicious. Is his boss going to find out about their affair? Does Samuel really love Lauren? Play the game to find out.


Genre: Romance
Violence: None
Adult content: Text only
Gameplay time: Around 15 minutes

Download here.

Story written by Robinson. Character art created by Widget.
Thanks to Ren'py and all other free resources.
screenshot0001.png
He who doesn't care about the environment doesn't care about his grandchildren.

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MusicaFate
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Re: Free Love

#2 Post by MusicaFate »

Very weak plot line. You created a story that could have been built upon. You confuse the reader by not clarifying the ending and the beginning. Also, it's just eh, I didn't like it at all. Didn't seem "real". You didn't show me anything, you just told me what happened. :/
The style of writing was a bit decent. The font was terrible for reading. Choose a better one.

Overall, try to create a better plot line and add upon it. Create more drama and what not. /shrugs.

And, it took me 5 minutes to go through the story because it was just a repeat of everything.
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Wright1000
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Re: Free Love

#3 Post by Wright1000 »

MusicaFate wrote:The font was terrible for reading. Choose a better one.
That's exactly the reason there was a screenshot. I don't know why you thought it was terrible, but for my eyes, that font seemed decent. I could read it as clearly as I can read anything written with "Times New Roman".
Also, if you really dislike the font, you can always copy a new font and paste it in the game folder. And rename it as "font."
As for me, I don't intend to upload another version with a change of font.
MusicaFate wrote: And, it took me 5 minutes to go through the story because it was just a repeat of everything.
A repeat of what? If you can be more specific, I'd really appreciate it.
But, still I do admit that this definitely wasn't one of my best works (as the story was written in three days), so constructive critique is appreciated, but complaining about something trivial like the font that was used isn't very helpful.
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MusicaFate
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Re: Free Love

#4 Post by MusicaFate »

Dude, that was like one freaking line. I just asked for a better font because it was kinda hard to read. I think you should just use an arial font because the GUI wasn't really fancy or anything. it was plain. I will not change the font because it isn't MY game.

I gave you a bit of constructive criticism already. Your path ways were repeative. It was all to the same ending so that's why it took me 5 minutes.

Also I told you your plot line was really weak. There wasn't any build up or anything.(Perhaps in the beginning. It was a pretty good start with all that background information) It was "oh this happened," as if you were stating everything instead of showing the reader what happened. Is the main character supposed to be not likeable? I know he is doing this for his sister and all, but the bond between his sister isn't really "strong." You make it more "implied," but I think there could have been more support on that. You also made it seem like he just wanted money. .___.'' I would say he got what he deserved. The ending was really sappy. It was just a bunch of words mashed up together to equal hope. I don't understand his personality :/ so i wouldn't know if its something that he would do. /shrugs...

it's just my opinion. I might be wrong.
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Wright1000
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Completed: Finding A Murderer, Memory Loss, Crime Investigation, Stay away from the graveyard, Last Day at School, Lonesome, Email, Hired Gun, Dusk, Hired Gun 2, Man-at-arms, Hired Gun 3, The Phantom Caller, Street Girl, Free love, The Story of Isabel Claudia
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Re: Free Love

#5 Post by Wright1000 »

MusicaFate wrote:Dude, that was like one freaking line. I just asked for a better font because it was kinda hard to read. I think you should just use an arial font because the GUI wasn't really fancy or anything. it was plain. I will not change the font because it isn't MY game.
Ha, ha, ha. Sorry if I sounded rude. I didn't mean it that way.
I just like trying different fonts in different games. So, if anyone has any problem with the font, they are always free to change it.
Also, If you don't mind, would you add a spoiler tag?
Here is my explanation:
The protagonist didn't actually love Lauren in the beginning. He got into the relationship just for his promotion. But, slowly, whether he began to develop feelings or not, completely depends on the choices you make. I think you didn't get both the endings. Try making some different choices and you will get ending one. The protagonist was a stubborn guy, so in Ending 2, since he really loved someone with all his heart, and she turned him down, he came to the conclusion that there is no such thing called love.
Hope that clears your confusion. I know the story wasn't very good since as I said before, it was written in a short time.
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Re: Free Love

#6 Post by justjoe »

Wright1000 wrote:I know the story wasn't very good since as I said before, it was written in a short time.
I've read some of your stuff, and the stories are not bad. I find it difficult to empathize with the lead characters.

Maybe you should consider having a trusted friend (one who will give you an honest opinion, not just say "it's fine") critique your stories before uploading.

Some of your responses to constructive criticism have been less than gracious. It might help to remember that people who are offering constructive criticism of your work are not making personal attacks on you.

I admire anyone who can turn out a VN in a short time.

Armyfyr
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Re: Free Love

#7 Post by Armyfyr »

Excuse me if I'm wrong, but is Free Love only available for Windows? It says "win32" in the filename and I don't want to download it just to find out it doesn't run on my Macbook. If that's the case, I think you should make versions for Linux and Mac - based on the attachment, I like the art and would like to play the game.

Wright1000
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Completed: Finding A Murderer, Memory Loss, Crime Investigation, Stay away from the graveyard, Last Day at School, Lonesome, Email, Hired Gun, Dusk, Hired Gun 2, Man-at-arms, Hired Gun 3, The Phantom Caller, Street Girl, Free love, The Story of Isabel Claudia
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Re: Free Love

#8 Post by Wright1000 »

Armyfyr wrote:Excuse me if I'm wrong, but is Free Love only available for Windows?
Yes, it is only for windows.
Armyfyr wrote: It says "win32" in the filename and I don't want to download it just to find out it doesn't run on my Macbook.
It will run on Mac if you have Ren'py installed. Paste the game in the folder where you are supposed to put your own projects. Then, select the game "Free Love" on the Launcher. Then, click "play". The game will now run. But, remember that this game was made using the latest version of Ren'py so do make sure that you have Renpy 6.13 installed.
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vociferocity
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Re: Free Love

#9 Post by vociferocity »

you could compile it for mac and linux as well as windows (it's just different checkboxes when you're exporting the game), so that anyone could play it really easily.

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