Tried your game Love & Life for the first time yesterday. Overall, I enjoyed it. Good grammar, and as more information about the characters was revealed, I thought they became more and more interesting. So far I've managed to get all of Kenta's endings, as well as the Hina and Chiyo friendship ending. Here are a few things which could be improved:
1. Just a couple typos.
The only major one is in the Kenta/Chiyo marriage ending. There's a few screens near the end where Chiyo is called Hina. I assume this is a mistake.
2. The character sprites look hand drawn, while most of the backgrounds look like computer generated images. There's just a handful of backgrounds which seem to be drawn by hand. Would be interesting to see a freeware visual novel with consistent art. If you're done with Love & Life, then think if this can be done in a future project.
3. In my opinion, you could eliminate most of the Japanese words from your script, and it would not lose cultural authenticity. Think carefully about what terms and phrases have natural-sounding, easy-to-understand English equivalents. There are a few which don't... for instance, keep the names of food products intact. And while there are some English words similar to "tsundere," some have different meanings, and others might sound like long-winded explanations. But if you ask me, most of the untranslated words and phrases are distracting, and don't enhance the story.
4. In the Kenta/Kana story, there's a statement about paying "80 dollars" for a dress. I suppose that's a small inconsistency. So I started thinking, "how much would you pay for a dress if you lived in a large city in Japan?" I got some information on major retail stores here: shops.japan-guide.com/shops/categories/7 A few not-very-helpful web searches later, I started browsing sites of stores that sell fashionable clothes for women. One example that was easy to browse was Laforet Harajuku. On their site, you can learn how much you can expect to pay in yen: laforet.ne.jp/in_store_now
5. Was a little surprised that there was no love or friendship ending for Maki. She gets to know Kenta, offers to share her lunch, and gets him to work together on the haunted house. It's not clear if she has other important friends or a significant other. We don't know much more about Maki's life, or what she intends to do after the school festival.
I was wondering for a moment if there would be a path with Imai-sensei. I admit it's unlikely, since she is probably in her 20s. And even assuming she's heterosexual and unattached, I don't think she'd fall in love with one of her students. But there was a scene where Kenta helps her deal with the annoying guys in his class, so I thought there was a slight chance for a friendship ending.
Regardless, thank you for the freeware game!