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PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2011 12:37 am 
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OBJECTION! Christmas is NOT over yet! I haven't failed my deadline quite yet! What was that deadline? This! Anton's Vacation: Episode Two: A Náme Christmas Carol!

As many people know, the original episode 2 was supposed to be out a long, long time ago. Yeah. Whoops. I failed that one several times over. There were a lot of issues behind that one. However, while we wait for me to get my act together, I decided to throw together a quickee for ya'll.
Edit: That's right, this is just a little filler episode until the real next episode comes out. >.>; For those of you who were expecting an ACTUAL episode instead of this sidetrack story, well... enjoy what you got until I finish up? ;_;

Plot: The story of Náme and her inability to experience emotions other than rage during the Christmas season. However, the spirits of Christmas Past, Present, and Future have barged in on what was otherwise promising to be a boring holiday to show Náme what it really means to live with the emotions of love that she has long since suppressed. A loving tale of warmth, caring, and unbridled amounts of sarcasm.
Edit2: Link fixed.
Anton's Vacation download page
Attachment:
EP2a.jpg
EP2a.jpg [ 845.83 KiB | Viewed 5127 times ]

Attachment:
EP2b.PNG
EP2b.PNG [ 1.62 MiB | Viewed 5127 times ]


Rating: As with anything I do 16+.
The game contains 583 screens of dialogue.
These screens contain a total of 6,542 words,
for an average of 11.2 words per screen.
The game contains 0 menus.2
Also, I apologize for the UI right now. In my mad rush to get everything ready and out the door, I did not make a custom one for this game. I will remedy this sooner or later.

For the record, I think Name looks better with her reading glasses on... I might have to make that canon.

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Last edited by KomiTsuku on Mon Dec 26, 2011 1:21 am, edited 4 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2011 12:40 am 
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Ahhh, it's finally finished, yay ^0^ Gonna download it ASAP and play it.

Wait, whut!? Otome episode??? Where's Anton? Oh well, gonna play it anyway. Thanks, KomiTsuku ^_^

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2011 12:47 am 
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LVUER wrote:
Ahhh, it's finally finished, yay ^0^ Gonna download it ASAP and play it.

Wait, whut!? Otome episode??? Where's Anton? Oh well, gonna play it anyway. Thanks, KomiTsuku ^_^

Anton's there, he's just not the main character for this episode. ^_^

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2011 5:58 am 
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So is this taken from your original written works or did you create an extra special side story just for us? Either way thanks, I really enjoy spending time reading your creations!


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2011 10:24 pm 
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Miau wrote:
So is this taken from your original written works or did you create an extra special side story just for us? Either way thanks, I really enjoy spending time reading your creations!

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: It is part of the overall G2 series. It goes...
G1, which is the tales of Sora, Komi, Syl, and their friends.
G2, which is the story of Anton and his adventures.
G3, which is... I dunno, we really haven't gotten into it.

G1 was the old RP days, so there isn't a lot of record or fictional pieces of that time. G2 is really where everything is at. It goes...
New World, a short story about how Anton awoke in this world and rose to his position. It was lost a long time ago to a hard drive failure and the paper copy was lose in a car accident.
Tanamon's War Trilogy, a script piece telling an alternative version of an RP that I was a part of. It was a pretty cool action piece involving telepathic warriors and a stranded KDF task force. It was never completed, but the script is still in existence.
Blueslend Revolution, another script piece about Anton investigating a planet of magi and their attempts at overthrowing the government. All but the first two pages was lost.
Rising Angels, an otome vn telling the origins of Lenna, Yoi, and a few others. Still in progress.
Katajion's Dream, the key to the mini-series. It really was the gem of the collection. It started as an anime script and has been readapted and rewritten many times over the years. It now exists as a full length novel, but only a few chapters remain online. It MIGHT be expanded and converted to a visual novel, if there is sufficient interest and motivation.
Morterous Theorem, visual novel side divert in the series. A lot more science than I normally go into, but it explains a fair bit of the universe and did a lot of relationship building between the four main characters. It was lost when my computer was tampered with. Only a couple art pieces remain.
Luck and Chance, a novel telling the tale of how Anton was kidnapped during the final days of the war and the rest of his team is sent out to retrieve him. It jumps perspectives a lot, showing everyone's POV and motives. It was never completed.
Anton's Vacation, and here we are. Everything from the AV episodes ARE canon. I'm trying my best to make sure it stays within the bounds of the original written series. This will be the final chapter of the mini-series though. I'm starting to feel that moving on might be a good thing, since the series was never really all that popular with anyone other than me. Besides, if I really wanted everything to be solid for the fans, I'd have to go back and rewrite most of the works for rerelease, since very few members of the public have seen anything other than AV.

I might go back and convert Katajion's Dream, but... I guess you could say I've never had a lot of confidence in myself as a writer. Going back to stories that failed the first time is a potentially big waste of time. If I got some volunteers to help with the development, I could devote energy towards recreating the FULL series. Sadly, the only person who has come forward is Figerit, my art editor.

Anyway, I'm glad you liked it. ^_^

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2011 11:31 pm 
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KomiTsuku wrote:
Miau wrote:
So is this taken from your original written works or did you create an extra special side story just for us? Either way thanks, I really enjoy spending time reading your creations!

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: It is part of the overall G2 series. It goes...
G1, which is the tales of Sora, Komi, Syl, and their friends.
G2, which is the story of Anton and his adventures.
G3, which is... I dunno, we really haven't gotten into it.

G1 was the old RP days, so there isn't a lot of record or fictional pieces of that time. G2 is really where everything is at. It goes...
New World, a short story about how Anton awoke in this world and rose to his position. It was lost a long time ago to a hard drive failure and the paper copy was lose in a car accident.
Tanamon's War Trilogy, a script piece telling an alternative version of an RP that I was a part of. It was a pretty cool action piece involving telepathic warriors and a stranded KDF task force. It was never completed, but the script is still in existence.
Blueslend Revolution, another script piece about Anton investigating a planet of magi and their attempts at overthrowing the government. All but the first two pages was lost.
Rising Angels, an otome vn telling the origins of Lenna, Yoi, and a few others. Still in progress.
Katajion's Dream, the key to the mini-series. It really was the gem of the collection. It started as an anime script and has been readapted and rewritten many times over the years. It now exists as a full length novel, but only a few chapters remain online. It MIGHT be expanded and converted to a visual novel, if there is sufficient interest and motivation.
Morterous Theorem, visual novel side divert in the series. A lot more science than I normally go into, but it explains a fair bit of the universe and did a lot of relationship building between the four main characters. It was lost when my computer was tampered with. Only a couple art pieces remain.
Luck and Chance, a novel telling the tale of how Anton was kidnapped during the final days of the war and the rest of his team is sent out to retrieve him. It jumps perspectives a lot, showing everyone's POV and motives. It was never completed.
Anton's Vacation, and here we are. Everything from the AV episodes ARE canon. I'm trying my best to make sure it stays within the bounds of the original written series. This will be the final chapter of the mini-series though. I'm starting to feel that moving on might be a good thing, since the series was never really all that popular with anyone other than me. Besides, if I really wanted everything to be solid for the fans, I'd have to go back and rewrite most of the works for rerelease, since very few members of the public have seen anything other than AV.

I might go back and convert Katajion's Dream, but... I guess you could say I've never had a lot of confidence in myself as a writer. Going back to stories that failed the first time is a potentially big waste of time. If I got some volunteers to help with the development, I could devote energy towards recreating the FULL series. Sadly, the only person who has come forward is Figerit, my art editor.

Anyway, I'm glad you liked it. ^_^



I wondered if this started life as a table top adventure. The way you have described it felt like such an experience. I to this day will mess with pen and paper characters/story concepts of my own that are now 15+ years old. Is certainly a gaming I wish more could have as part of their background. MMOs can be bonding, but perhaps not quite as complete as creating a shared story on the fly with characters that often shared the player's perspective, or meant as a total opposite.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2011 11:55 pm 
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xD I love this VN! It made me laugh, but I'd like to tell you T^T I found one "i" wasn't captialized :3 I hope there isn't any more mistakes! BUT GOOD JOB D:... can you re-make some and fix up the O-o... I think its called the GUI. D: Otherwise, happy holidays and thank you for this awesome treat :3


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2011 12:21 am 
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Miau wrote:
I wondered if this started life as a table top adventure. The way you have described it felt like such an experience. I to this day will mess with pen and paper characters/story concepts of my own that are now 15+ years old. Is certainly a gaming I wish more could have as part of their background. MMOs can be bonding, but perhaps not quite as complete as creating a shared story on the fly with characters that often shared the player's perspective, or meant as a total opposite.

It's started out on Starcraft, then an old thread on (then) Go-Gaia. It got a lot larger and branched out elsewhere, but ended up dissolving itself years ago. What you see today and the past are radically different, but I like to think I still pay homage to those days. The G2 series, however, is entirely unique, thought up and written solely by me. Except for Tanamon's War. That was inspired by an RP I was part of for years.

MusicaFate wrote:
xD I love this VN! It made me laugh, but I'd like to tell you T^T I found one "i" wasn't captialized :3 I hope there isn't any more mistakes! BUT GOOD JOB D:... can you re-make some and fix up the O-o... I think its called the GUI. D: Otherwise, happy holidays and thank you for this awesome treat :3

I'm glad you liked it. ^_^

Fixed the i. My laptop keyboard's right shift key isn't working quite right, I had a lot of issues with it. That bugs me a little since I spent a LOT of money on the laptop. As for the UI, yeah, that is already in the works. I'm not much of a graphical wizard (as previous games will show) but I don't like just working off the default. Since it is in a higher resolution, the buttons for default get really small and that is unacceptable. Time forced my hand this time, but I'm already working on making a new one.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 4:12 am 
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Played this one yesterday. The story was great, and the artwork was magnificent.
The dialogues are really humorous. The music was good too.
The only thing I didn't like was the grammar.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 10:56 am 
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Wright1000 wrote:
The only thing I didn't like was the grammar.


That's a little vague to be constructive criticism - are there particular instances of the grammar you didn't like?

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 11:01 am 
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PyTom wrote:
Wright1000 wrote:
The only thing I didn't like was the grammar.


That's a little vague to be constructive criticism - are there particular instances of the grammar you didn't like?


I am a little busy right now.
If that's what you want, I'll make a post on 10th January, 2012, and show you the grammatical errors I found.
And I certainly didn't mean to hurt the creator's feelings by saying that.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 10:23 pm 
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Wright1000 wrote:
Played this one yesterday. The story was great, and the artwork was magnificent.
The dialogues are really humorous. The music was good too.
The only thing I didn't like was the grammar.

I'm glad you liked it. ^_^ I was rather nervous that people might not like an episode from Name's perspective.

I don't doubt there were some grammar mistakes. I was a bit more rushed on this one than I normally am. I wasn't able to give as through a scrubbing I normally do. If you can post any that you saw, I'll fix them up.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 3:39 am 
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Here are some of the grammatical errors I found:

It should be "compliment." "complement" is a different word with a different meaning.

needs to be "punched" in their kidney...

I munch on the cardboard... (much is not a verb)

If I get time, I'll go through the script again and list out all the grammatical errors.

But don't worry. Because the grammar wasn't much of a distraction.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2012 11:48 pm 
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Having read this a long time ago, I apologize for being so lazy in commenting. I actually downloaded it the night you posted this and read through it. I'd like to review it and give my thoughts on it:

Art: As always, great. I love the artist and I think this style is wonderful for your writing. It is very professional and each scene was used to its maximum effect.

Writing: I have to say, your writing style grew on me. This was a very charming take on the Christmas Carol and I was surprised by how original the twist at the end was done. It was funny and a very easy read. I found your characters, even the ones who were on the screen for a limited amount of time, to really show their personality. Excellent job.

Characters: Heaven knows you have a lot of characters in each VN. Original ones that have a strong personality, that is something I like. I actually don't consider Name as my favorite in the group, but she really shined in this episode.

Gameplay: Since this was a KN, there wasn't choices. But it flowed so well and naturally, I didn't care. That is a true testament to the writing and story.

Overall opinions: I always figured I just didn't fit in the group that would enjoy your VNs. I hope you don't take that the wrong way, but I just figured it was a matter of personal preference. But I think it was more of a case of warming up to your characters and writings. They are all so different than what I normally read/enjoy that I had a pretty strong adverse reaction the first time. But this second time around, I really enjoyed the entire visual novel. It was charming and I have to say, very well done. I'm a bit surprised there aren't more comments here, but a lot of good VNs are overlooked.

Haha, I realized that was a pretty short review (and only filled with praise). But, I wanted to let you know that I really did like this one. I think your releases are steadily improving and as always, I am very impressed by the hard work you put in each one.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 10:53 am 
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applegirl wrote:
Having read this a long time ago, I apologize for being so lazy in commenting. I actually downloaded it the night you posted this and read through it. I'd like to review it and give my thoughts on it:

...

Haha, I realized that was a pretty short review (and only filled with praise). But, I wanted to let you know that I really did like this one. I think your releases are steadily improving and as always, I am very impressed by the hard work you put in each one.

I actually wasn't real sure to say at first. It's a lot easier when people criticize my work, seeing as I am the BIGGEST critic and hater of my work. It really leaves me at a loss of words when people don't agree with me. XD All I can really say is thank you and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Quote:
Art: As always, great. I love the artist and I think this style is wonderful for your writing. It is very professional and each scene was used to its maximum effect.

The art was one of the reasons it almost didn't come out. With the pending style change to the new sprites, I was a bit leery to continue using the originals. I was really happy that one of the original CG artists, Tetiel, agreed to help out with the project at pretty much last minute notice.
Quote:
Writing: I have to say, your writing style grew on me. This was a very charming take on the Christmas Carol and I was surprised by how original the twist at the end was done. It was funny and a very easy read. I found your characters, even the ones who were on the screen for a limited amount of time, to really show their personality. Excellent job.
Characters: Heaven knows you have a lot of characters in each VN. Original ones that have a strong personality, that is something I like. I actually don't consider Name as my favorite in the group, but she really shined in this episode.

Gameplay: Since this was a KN, there wasn't choices. But it flowed so well and naturally, I didn't care. That is a true testament to the writing and story.

Why does nobody really like Name? ;_; Then again, she is an antagonist in Katajion's Dream and never really got rid of that feeling... Most of the characters I've long since figured out their voice, so I can hear their dialog a lot more... naturally in my head.

Quote:
Overall opinions: I always figured I just didn't fit in the group that would enjoy your VNs. I hope you don't take that the wrong way, but I just figured it was a matter of personal preference. But I think it was more of a case of warming up to your characters and writings. They are all so different than what I normally read/enjoy that I had a pretty strong adverse reaction the first time. But this second time around, I really enjoyed the entire visual novel. It was charming and I have to say, very well done. I'm a bit surprised there aren't more comments here, but a lot of good VNs are overlooked.

I admit that my writing and plots are not quite... standard. I keep forgetting that what comes naturally to me after a decade of working on the series is still rather new to the rest of the world, so I tend to wander into "familiar" territory for me without taking the time to build the necessary plotlines up again. I admit it does worry me that it turns off people long before they get semi-familiar with the characters and into the actual plot. Getting to do little snip-it stories like this are fun for me since I can just attack the plot without worrying as much about the "development".

I am curious, what do you normally read/enjoy? ^_^

Actually, I think this might be a record for me for total number of comments! I've grown rather used to seeing fairly consistent hits on the download, but almost no comments. It makes me a little angsty sometimes, but I keep persisting.

-------------------------------------------
Unrelated comment: Work on the next episode has recommenced, Syl's storyline going first since there seems to be more interest in hers and Yoi than Lenna's or Name's. I'm still up in the air about just putting the entire plot into the next game and dropping the episode idea.

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