In a genre which has adopted as part of its label the moniker of "novel," you have suggested the idea that it should have one layer of meaning.
Yes, which is exactly why I'm disappointed. =o
The idea was nice, sure, but ideas are worth nothing if the execution isn't convincing.
And with execution I do not
Art is nice and can be used as a storytelling element, but it doesn't need to. It can be left out.
It's just that there isn't one part of this game where I could think "hey, the creator put effort into this".
The sprites were okay even though the usage was boring, the writing was a too untamed.
I played it till the end and I learned nothing - what was the moral?
That the world's a bad place? That people gang up because of their perverted thoughts? That I should stop buying frozen pizza as my family will think that I hate them?
What am I supposed to think, what was it you wanted to say?
I see that you changed the description which made things a lot clearer - if you had put more from this in the game it would have made things better.
When writing, think about what the reader sees in the characters. Ask friends or families - we didn't know about the tragic fall, didn't feel the shock of what could happen to the best of us, to everyone of us.
What I saw was some guy who fully deserved the fate he had. You didn't show me the nice man he once was.
You talked about it having layers, but you also need to show them to the readers.
It sounds promising now, having development and a lot of things that people can relate to.
There's also no music.
I believe there is.
As a side-note, I don't understand why people are so belligerent here. Flat-out calling someone's work "thrash" has never been acceptable on LemmaSoft, and it is disconcerting to see that people somehow feel they are justified to do so here.
Hmmm... it fitted into the description, so I called it like that. I can also call it "effortless and undeveloped" if this makes people feel better.
I apologize for calling it a "trash game", DeShaun, in case that it should have hurt you.
I might got a wrong impression and seeing that you made the effort to update the description gives me hope that all you need is a beta tester or two.
I should have hold my temper.
Will there be an edited version of this which shows the whole story? It would probably make this thing better which is what you are going for as it's a preview of what to await from you.
Newest Update: "Interface preview + WIPs" (13. 9. 2012)