Dance With Me In Wonderland

Message

WildFLOWER · #1 Post by **WildFLOWER** » Wed Jul 11, 2012 9:42 pm

This is my first Ren'py game! ^^

It took about a week to finish. It's really short though considering it's my first one. ^^

Statistics:

The game contains 342 screens of dialogue.
These screens contain a total of 2,339 words,
for an average of 6.8 words per screen.
The game contains 1 menus.
There are 2 endings.

DOWNLOAD

Windows Download: http://www.4shared.com/zip/WumSdvr5/Dan ... win32.html
Mac Download: http://www.4shared.com/zip/A4N_GpMG/Dan ... d-mac.html
Linux Download: http://www.4shared.com/file/GpeOasGi/Da ... -x86t.html

miaverana · #2 Post by **miaverana** » Wed Jul 11, 2012 9:44 pm

Welcome to the forum and congratulation for completed your first game~ ^w^

WildFLOWER · #3 Post by **WildFLOWER** » Wed Jul 11, 2012 9:48 pm

miaverana wrote:Welcome to the forum and congratulation for completed your first game~ ^w^

Thank you very much on both accounts! ^^

miaverana · #4 Post by **miaverana** » Wed Jul 11, 2012 9:50 pm

WildFLOWER wrote:
miaverana wrote:Welcome to the forum and congratulation for completed your first game~ ^w^
Thank you very much on both accounts! ^^

You're welcome, I'm downloading your game and I'll give you some feed back later

.

WildFLOWER · #5 Post by **WildFLOWER** » Wed Jul 11, 2012 9:57 pm

miaverana wrote:
WildFLOWER wrote:
miaverana wrote:Welcome to the forum and congratulation for completed your first game~ ^w^
Thank you very much on both accounts! ^^
You're welcome, I'm downloading your game and I'll give you some feed back later .

Thank you ^^

qyrnth · #6 Post by **qyrnth** » Wed Jul 11, 2012 10:27 pm

congrats for finishing your first game~wish someday i'll make one too...i'm downloading this...will give you opinion later..

...

WildFLOWER · #7 Post by **WildFLOWER** » Wed Jul 11, 2012 10:39 pm

qyrnth wrote:congrats for finishing your first game~wish someday i'll make one too...i'm downloading this...will give you opinion later.....

Thank you c: You really should c: It's fun c:

Katty16 · #8 Post by **Katty16** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 4:55 am

A new game

downloading right now

qyrnth · #9 Post by **qyrnth** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 7:11 am

I've just finished the game. I was about to comment earlier in the afternoon but suddenly asked to go to the embassy to do some stuff.

.. But here it is...

The idea of the story was original and quite interesting. I love the title. It was too short though. There was plenty of room for development. I love the title, somehow sounds beautiful. You forgot to put credit also and it will be better if you put some music. The picture are not bad but decent for such short period of time. There are mainly two things i found unnatural in the game:
1) Lucius feelings towards Borinia. I thought it was strange that he suddenly proposed Borinia for a marriage while when the two first met Lucius without hesitation reported her to the Queen for the possibility of being an imposter. The sudden change of heart form Lucius was still too much even Borinia saved him from execution. He never really shows his affection to Borinia.. If there's any i think you should add in a scene where Lucius showed his affection towards Borinia more clearly, maybe like put something cheesy or romantic lines when Lucius sneak to her bedroom the night after he escaped from prison. I know it is classic and might be boring but i think it is still necessary to put.
2) Borinia uncertain condition. It made me asking myself why was Borinia unconscious and trapped in her dream? What specific condition or what cause her to be unable to wake up and will die if she didn't wake up? Something like the phase of being in between life and death state was flashed through my mind, it may be the possibility but the story still did not give necessary information explaining whether she was in a coma or dying state, also the cause. So for me, it certainly unclear.

Anyway, the game is decent and adorable. Let alone, it was made in such a short period of time. I'm sure if I were you i will not make it. It will be nothing or will be something not as good as this...This is the first time i give review on other's game so i'm really sorry if i made mistake on giving my opinion or if you feel offended. i didn't mean to do so. Don't get me wrong. I really appreciate your work and grateful that you share your first game here. Keep up the good work~! Ganbatte!:D... I'm looking forward for your further works... <3

P.S.: i think Aston is adorable. Even though i prefer him with short hair..

..

Taleweaver · #10 Post by **Taleweaver** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 8:14 am

Any screenshots you can contribute so that we can see a little of your project in advance?

Destiny · #11 Post by **Destiny** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 8:55 am

Or maybe add a genre in the title (look at the other projects here).
I mean, is this romance, fantasy, drama?
BxG, GxB, BxB or GxG? Or maybe without romance?

I mean it's quite a surpirse box you have there ôo

WildFLOWER · #12 Post by **WildFLOWER** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 3:03 pm

qyrnth wrote:I've just finished the game. I was about to comment earlier in the afternoon but suddenly asked to go to the embassy to do some stuff... But here it is...

The idea of the story was original and quite interesting. I love the title. It was too short though. There was plenty of room for development. I love the title, somehow sounds beautiful. You forgot to put credit also and it will be better if you put some music. The picture are not bad but decent for such short period of time. There are mainly two things i found unnatural in the game:
1) Lucius feelings towards Borinia. I thought it was strange that he suddenly proposed Borinia for a marriage while when the two first met Lucius without hesitation reported her to the Queen for the possibility of being an imposter. The sudden change of heart form Lucius was still too much even Borinia saved him from execution. He never really shows his affection to Borinia.. If there's any i think you should add in a scene where Lucius showed his affection towards Borinia more clearly, maybe like put something cheesy or romantic lines when Lucius sneak to her bedroom the night after he escaped from prison. I know it is classic and might be boring but i think it is still necessary to put.
2) Borinia uncertain condition. It made me asking myself why was Borinia unconscious and trapped in her dream? What specific condition or what cause her to be unable to wake up and will die if she didn't wake up? Something like the phase of being in between life and death state was flashed through my mind, it may be the possibility but the story still did not give necessary information explaining whether she was in a coma or dying state, also the cause. So for me, it certainly unclear.

Anyway, the game is decent and adorable. Let alone, it was made in such a short period of time. I'm sure if I were you i will not make it. It will be nothing or will be something not as good as this...This is the first time i give review on other's game so i'm really sorry if i made mistake on giving my opinion or if you feel offended. i didn't mean to do so. Don't get me wrong. I really appreciate your work and grateful that you share your first game here. Keep up the good work~! Ganbatte!:D... I'm looking forward for your further works... <3

P.S.: i think Aston is adorable. Even though i prefer him with short hair....

Thank you very much ^^ I will keep that in mind in the future c:

VocaloidsRCool · #13 Post by **VocaloidsRCool** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 7:51 pm

This is really good. Great work!

WildFLOWER · #14 Post by **WildFLOWER** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 7:55 pm

VocaloidsRCool wrote:This is really good. Great work!

Thanks very much ^^

illeashu · #15 Post by **illeashu** » Sat Jul 21, 2012 2:09 am

i was unable to download it, but ive heard many good things about it, im going to keep trying

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