To Think [KN]

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LiftMySpirit
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Posts: 20
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Completed: To Think
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To Think [KN]

#1 Post by LiftMySpirit »

Image
Title: To Think
type: kinetic novel
Reading time: 10 minutes or so
Recommended Item to Have: 1 small mirror
Word Count: Under 250 words (243 words, total)

The story is told through 'the narrator' - Ruri - who leads you through the short little story. The narrator, who happens to be named Ruri, will explain you've undergone some changes. This is where the mirror will come in. It actually asks the reader to check themselves for a few things using the mirror. Perhaps eye color, perhaps not. You would have to read and see. It continues on from there.
Choose to figure out the mystery of what the truth is behind it.
Or, choose not to participate in it at all.
It's all up to you.
-- Notes --
Statistics:
The game contains 28 screens of dialogue.
These screens contain a total of 243 words,
for an average of 8.7 words per screen.

Please let me know what you think.

-- Downloads --
download: http://gumroad.com/l/gLGX
- To download for free, simply enter $0 for the amount chosen.

*Update: July 14th, 2014
- Thank you for helping me reach over 1,000 downloads!
I never imagined this little game would ever reach that mark.

*Edit: I've moved to: CandiedLaughter!
Last edited by LiftMySpirit on Mon Jul 14, 2014 11:26 am, edited 2 times in total.

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specialtantei
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Re: To Think [KN]

#2 Post by specialtantei »

I'll download it and tell you what I think :). I've been waiting for it since I saw it in the WIP thread. Good job finishing!

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LiftMySpirit
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Completed: To Think
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Re: To Think [KN]

#3 Post by LiftMySpirit »

specialtantei wrote:I'll download it and tell you what I think :). I've been waiting for it since I saw it in the WIP thread. Good job finishing!
Thank you. (= I look forward to hearing what you think.

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specialtantei
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Re: To Think [KN]

#4 Post by specialtantei »

Well, I have a few stuff to say. I don't think I'm the most suited person for criticism but I'll try my best.
I think it was too short. Maybe you should have tried expanding the story a bit, making it more interesting. At least 1000 words.

Second, I believe using fade to change Ruri's expression was a really bad choice. Dissolve is better for this kind of changes.

This idea of the mirror have had potential if you try and make it longer. I don't want to be rude, but I expected a bit more of this story. In the end it was a quick read, yes, but too quick.

Maybe try to create a relationship between Ruri and the reader. The fact that you used a character with a body with a story where a character may have been perfectly discarded, makes me want more of that character. A personality, a REASON for those things she was saying. I hope you understand what I mean.
Other than that, congratulations on completing your VN :).

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LiftMySpirit
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Posts: 20
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2012 5:40 pm
Completed: To Think
Projects: To Think - version 2
Organization: Raspberry Quill
Tumblr: OrchidBlossoms
Deviantart: CherryBlossomBooks
Contact:

Re: To Think [KN]

#5 Post by LiftMySpirit »

specialtantei wrote:Well, I have a few stuff to say. I don't think I'm the most suited person for criticism but I'll try my best.
I think it was too short. Maybe you should have tried expanding the story a bit, making it more interesting. At least 1000 words.

Second, I believe using fade to change Ruri's expression was a really bad choice. Dissolve is better for this kind of changes.

This idea of the mirror have had potential if you try and make it longer. I don't want to be rude, but I expected a bit more of this story. In the end it was a quick read, yes, but too quick.

Maybe try to create a relationship between Ruri and the reader. The fact that you used a character with a body with a story where a character may have been perfectly discarded, makes me want more of that character. A personality, a REASON for those things she was saying. I hope you understand what I mean.
Other than that, congratulations on completing your VN :).
Ah, alright. I'll try to keep the notes you gave in mind for in the future. I do understand what you mean and you have a point. I wasn't completely sure where to use fade or dissolve, so I tried fade. It was my first attempt. I was wondering whether to make it longer or not, but I wasn't sure how to go about doing that for this one. Also, thank you.

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Nocturnally
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Joined: Sun May 17, 2015 1:18 pm
Completed: To Think v.1
Projects: Kissing the Limitless
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Skype: cierahoover
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Re: To Think [KN]

#6 Post by Nocturnally »

Hey, all. I am re- releasing the To Think (KN).

You can download version 1, here, for free: http://melonchalks.itch.io/to-think-version-1

Image

Things I am already aware of:
o The character sprite disappears as the story progresses and then reappears.
o The text box doesn't fit the buttons inside.
o It is very short, as this was intended as a test originally.

Original credits (including my old username/organization name) are on the main menu's screen.



:::INFORMATION:::

Title: To Think
type: kinetic novel
Reading time: 10 minutes or so
Recommended Item to Have: 1 small mirror
Word Count: Under 250 words (243 words, total)

The story is told through 'the narrator' - Ruri - who leads you through the short little story. The narrator, who happens to be named Ruri, will explain you've undergone some changes. This is where the mirror will come in. It actually asks the reader to check themselves for a few things using the mirror. Perhaps eye color, perhaps not. You would have to read and see. It continues on from there.

Choose to figure out the mystery of what the truth is behind it.
Or, choose not to participate in it at all.
It's all up to you.




DOWNLOAD COUNT TO DATE: 1,216 downloads (as of May 24th, 2015) , 14 of which were on itch.io thus far.

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Sweet
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Posts: 137
Joined: Sat Apr 21, 2012 2:59 am
Completed: To Think [KN], Here's the Tea, Nadine's Fairytale, Shining Light
Projects: Dragon Eater
Organization: ChickenRoostArt
IRC Nick: Ciera
Tumblr: ChickenRoost
Deviantart: ChickenRoostArt
Github: ChickenRoost
Soundcloud: ChickenRoostArt
itch: ChickenRoost
Location: Steubenville, OH, USA
Discord: ChickenRoostArt
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Re: To Think [KN]

#7 Post by Sweet »

Screenshots from my old game, To Think.
To Think.png
Read more about it here: http://coffeepink.deviantart.com/art/To-Think-632703901
downloads now closed.

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