I'll keep that in mind, thanks for the idea!NeonCowboy wrote:NeonCowboy wrote: Part of this feedback is definitely just wanting to see more great artwork, but I think you should consider doing illustrations for the MC's mom and dad. I just find it hard to connect with them without seeing them, and I feel like the effectiveness of the entire scene sorts of depends on that.I was in a very similar position recently while working on my game, but in the end I felt like the gain wasn't worth the damage, and after I took the plunge I definitely found it was the right decision.netravelr wrote: The reason that I didn't do that is that I wanted the player to feel as if they actually are the player and having parents that didn't look like you may hurt that. I also didn't want to show the player at all so it didn't matter what skin color or race you were that you could see feel as if it was you that was playing. I may rethink that though for the future release especially when CGs come into play.
When I asked myself why I really wanted my character to be such a 'Man X' type, I realized that the answer was really only that I wanted to make him more sympathetic - ironically, this was exactly what I was preventing by failing to define him and the people in his life with just enough precision to make it clear who they are without it becoming burdensome.
Here's an idea: Maybe their character art is one image of the two of them together... It will save screen space, and it will have a subtle effect of reinforcing their characters as inseparable, for better or for worse. It informs how the MC views them, supports the inherent tension that you talk about with dad having no choice but to go along with mom once her mind is made, gives a contrasting sense of dread and hope for what may be in the wings for the MC and Emily, etc.
No worries, I'm glad to hear all sorts of feedback, after all we want to create the best game possible and make you feel you're getting the best bang for your buck.CheeryMoya wrote:I-I feel bad if I'm the only person who expected more. I mean, I knew this was only the first chapter and I was waiting to get sad at the fact I probably wouldn't be able to buy the second part of the game, but... that didn't happen? The game felt like it ended abruptly and without much of an incentive to buy the second half to resolve things.
That would be really cool, and I'm totally a huge fan of Alton Brown. For the most part, my focus for the second game is on letting the player be able to create whatever restaurant they want without needing a degree to do so.CheeryMoya wrote:I think it was mainly due to the quality of the writing. I was expecting something like a VN version of Good Eats or something with the characters going on long spiels about how great the combination of these two ingredients are, the difference that occurs when you substitute margarine for butter, how using canned or dry ingredients compares to fresh stuff, etc. You know, that kind of thing only food geeks would notice and get really fired up over.
That made me laugh so hard.
So for the most part the only thing you didn't like was the writing per say. I know the writer is pursuing these as well, so I'm sure she'll be keeping this feedback in mind as she continues to write. And yes, the parents being parents was intentional.CheeryMoya wrote:is rebelling against his parents by pursuing his dream of running a restaurant, and he hangs out with his friends along the way. Also snags himself a cute girlfriend.Then they break up over their differences.By itself that's not bad, but the way it was executed wasn't anything remarkable. I could replace their major with anything else and it wouldn't affect the story much. There were plenty of times when the narration felt shoehorned in for the sake of increasing wordcount and towards the end there are a lot of typos. "Noone" for example, and then there's some spaces between the quotation mark and the text, even an extra quotation mark just for kicks. Minor grammatical errors aside, the characters were just too distant to sympathize with.Here's Paul your friend and he's a cool guy, had a girlfriend, lost his girl, doing all right but still trying to get over the break-up. Here's Emily your cute lab partner. She wants to do something different. Other than that I don't know. Lisa really didn't get enough screen time, but her ideas about romance are meh. I'm really sad I didn't get to interact with Professor Silver :CIf that's how the characters are, that's totally fine; what didn't happen is depth though. All the characters felt flat for me and they changed topics on a dime as if they were trying to stall for time. They talk about one thing and suddenly they get into arguments, and they're all pretty stubborn. It's like they don't really hear each other to begin with.
The narration was also kinda meh. Instead of going into how the MC thought about stuff, we get "I ruffled her hair" kind of stuff the majority of the time. Actions, and not enough thought. Sometimes it felt redundant, like "He looks at me with a frown" because I can already see that in the sprite. I know you wanted to make it so the MC wasn't defined and the player could step into the game, but I dunno :/Random thing: Thanksgiving with the parents pissed me off a lot, and if that was the intention then it really worked. They were coming on really strong with all that "Emily will be your wife and stay home because women shouldn't work and they need to take care of the family" speech.
I've asked the artist about doing a lot more art, and hopefully she'll be up to doing more poses. In terms of a demo, right now this is my plan of what to offer (could change) but I will have videos of what the game play is like and may release a demo of sorts of just the gameplay parts without story, but we'll see how that goes.All in all, it wasn't bad per se but it wasn't what I was expecting from a game with a culinary setting. I'd need a demo of the Hands in the Kitchen to convince me to buy it as if I could in the first place, when am I ever going to get a PayPal? Are you going to get extra poses for the sprites? It'd be sweet to get an updated version of this later if there is.
Thanks so much for your feedback, I'd still love to hear from more people if they're willing. I can't make the game better or know what I should keep doing unless I hear.
