This was a charming little piece. I quite enjoyed the time I spent with it... for really short stories to get a stronger emotional response is a talent, and I hope you put it to good use in future projects.
Thank you! I intend for my next project to focus on a happier subject matter, though!
I have to confess I got a little annoyed with the pauses too, but because I'd always have to wait a bit before I was sure the full line of text was complete. This is the kind of project that could really use a click to continue indicator for its textbox to tell the player when to click. It's a shame it didn't have one, especially since there is actually a practical application for it.
I've since added a ctc marker - an inobtrusive, white _ to blink at the end of the 'screen' of text. I had wanted to put one in, but coding was never my forte. Thankfully I was pointed to that demo .rpy file!
The music was nice and very fitting. I know I've used both of the Kevin MacLeod tracks before myself... they weren't new, but they still pack the same powerful emotive punch, and really define the scene even if I've heard it before in a different context.
Ha ha, I thought it was probably music others had heard before, but since I have no musical talent, and I would feel bad about asking someone to compose music for such a small project, I decided to simply find something online.
Looking forward to whatever you make next!
I hope I won't disappoint then!
hey, enjoyed your story. i liked the presentation method that had a short story feel to it. pretty interesting. =D
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Just popped in to give my regards
This looks like a promising piece. when I'l get back from work I will download and read it, because I'd rather can't do it here (even if I'd like to, very very much
It is good to hear someone thinks it sounds interesting! Let me hear when you get a chance to try it.
The pauses ruined this for me. I stopped reading and uninstalled a couple of pages into the stories.
I see. That is a shame to hear. From the visual novels I read before, they would include a forced click after every line of text ending in a period, so I felt I could avoid that by including pauses, and I wanted it to be a piece read leisurely and slowly - hence the slow text speed and 1second pauses after every period, and 0.3seconds after every comma.
When you can provide (no hurry, of course) a Linux package ?
Best regards from Italy,
I could provide one right now, but I am touching the project up a little due to feedback!
I ran the Mac version on a 12" Powerbook G4, Mac OS X 10.4.11. Everything seemed to work, including the audio and the credits page.
Ha ha! I have no knowledge of Macs, so those specifics tell me nothing, but it's good to hear it worked.
I think that the story could come through a lot better if the pauses could be cleaned up. Pausing at every comma and every period in an ellipsis was excessive, and sometimes I thought that the screen was finished when there was still more. When I clicked, I ruined the timing on the page and would have to keep clicking until the next screen.
I see! I believe the piece is meant to be read slowly, but I will try removing those pauses and see how it feels.
If you really want to keep the pauses in, one way to work around this would be to put in a "click to continue" indicator so that the reader knows when to move on. There are a few examples inside the Tutorial game that comes with Renpy; look in demo_character.rpy.
Thank you. I've included a ctc now, and I think it looks rather inobtrusive and good.
Thank you for the feedback, everyone.