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Haha yeah.. I think I posted before and deleted it because I looked at it and felt embarrassed by how much rage I had allowed to spill out. We both have confronted him about things throughout his stay. In fact, it got so bad I seemed to be nagging him every day. My husband said that he was afraid his friend would feel over nagged and totally unwanted. That's before he started getting to my husband too. xD But that's when I stopped approaching him. And I have started to realize that sometimes keeping it pent up is preferable to the drama-queen act that gets put on after said confrontation.

My husband has said that he feels like a complete jerk but the date for moving out is set in stone and if he isn't out himself by that date, we're driving him to a homeless shelter and telling him good luck. My husband is even driving him to work now because he didn't budget himself bus money (at 34 he still doesn't have a license.)

July 13th is the lucky day! Bwaha Friday the 13th! I didn't realize that until now. I hope it's a lucky day.

@Obscura: Oh, there's more I didn't even post, hoping to save the forum their lunches/breakfasts/dinners.

On a random note: After stewing and browsing the forums... I think I need to make a wonderful horror roommate VN. Where I get to murder the roommate. In a good way. Is that creepy? haha

If he's like this at 34, I think there's a heck of a lot more wrong with him than anything you guys could ever help with. It's a very sad thing. He hardly sounds capable of taking care of himself. Is this his first time outside of living with his parents? I guess I just don't understand how he couldn't know how to budget his income. Then again, I'm sure you don't either *shrug*

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It is one of the great mysteries of the world. We all age a little differently I suppose. I know I have a bit of an accelerated life according to a lot of people but it is really just right for me. I guess some people lead decelerated lives too. What makes it not okay though is when it is obviously obstructing any positive progression or barring a person from keeping healthy relationships.

My gosh, what a horrible situation... I am angry for you, mostly because I know someone IRL who is like this and it's infuriating. The whole stomping off like an irrational child instead of sincerely apologizing and making an effort to do better next time? Yeah, imagine that coming from a man who is old enough to be retired.

I would absolutely confront him about the muffins. Actually, that's just what I'd tell myself - in reality I'd probably suffer in silence because I'm too much of a coward to confront people if I know I have to wake up and see them the next morning. But you really have justification. He knew what they were for. He should have had enough freaking self control in light of the fact that they were for his friend who is graciously allowing him to live with you. I mean, come on... more disgusting than the lack of self-control is the lack of appreciation for the kindness you guys have shown him.


Your husband sounds like a really nice guy. But his kindness is wasted if his friend can't even make the effort to manage his own finances or even flush. Good grief. Maybe kicking him out will be good for him.

_________________
“When I stand before God at the end of my life,
I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left,
and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'”
— Erma Bombeck

I am realizing that I do not like liars. Well soft-liars. What do you call them? I mean, if you never ask someone for something, but they constantly say things like "I am grateful so I am going to do x for you" all the time, every day. And then the day comes and x appreciative thing does not happen. You never wanted x thing, but now you are upset because it has been repeated to you and yet has not happened.

This happens a lot. "I'm so grateful and I want you guys to know so I am going to..." And you know what? I'm a super simple person. Be a friend. Be a shoulder to lean on. Play a board game with us or a card game when we break out some old fashioned games. Play a video game with us. Do something. I don't need things or favors. I like spending time with people. And my husband and I have expressed this. But some people see value in different things and the solution for this person in particular is "throw money at it until it is better." I hate that philosophy!

I cannot imagine this behavior from someone even older! Honestly, I cannot imagine this person as an old man and it makes me sad. I know you can't change some people but... wow. To live and die by this life is hard to think about for this person.

From what I read, he is very inconsiderate and think he owns the house... or he's just plain stupid (with capital S). The least he can do is start saving and pay the rent... but he didn't do any of them. Even in Eastern culture where it's considered very normal for a man to live with his parents until he's married (or the parents died and he inherits the house), that roommate will still find himself kicked out of the house.

But that's what you get for being nice (or TOO nice). I have too many experience similar to that (one of them being my own), I hope you don't mind I rant about this:

Someone built a little stand in front of my house. A business stand where he sells things. Usually, it needs a permit and he needs to pay me for using my space. But being nice, my parents decided to let him be. 20 years later, not only the stand got bigger and got in the way, he started to disturb us (sleeping there, leaving plenty of garbage, burning garbage, parking his vehicle there and blocking our entrance, etc). So we decided to stop being nice and told him to move out. Guess what he did? He asked for compensation since he had been using the place for more than 20 years. Yes, you've been using that place for 20 years FOR FREE!!! And now you have guts to ask for compensation after 20 years using my place for free (do you know how much money I would get if I rent the place instead)? Not wanting to make a scene, we just paid him and kicked him out of there.


A more extreme example that also happened. My parent's friend was being nice (stupidly too nice in my opinion) and so he helped his friend by giving him money every month. Remember that this person never indebted something to that friend (we'll refer with Mr.X) of his and did that purely out of kindness. One time, that person was in financial difficulty and so couldn't give Mr.X any money that month. Normally, that Mr.X should say "Uh, well, it's ok, I hope your financial condition will get well soon.", right? But no, instead, Mr.X was super angry, became violent, cursing and insulting the kind guy, accused him for hiding the money and not wanting to give Mr.X money anymore. Horray!!!

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@LVUER: That is nightmarish! It's things like that that make me lose total faith in people. I have no idea how people can twist a kindness and turn themselves into a victim of a crime! It's like that saying "kill them with kindness" but it never works out that way. They kill you instead. @_@

Ffffff, I hate when people do this. Actually, I find it insulting. As if all of those other times of stepping on you weren't enough, the person actually invents another opportunity to step on you.


Yeah.. it's bad. Here are some choice behaviors of the subject in question:


Yeah, when I'm not ready to punch a wall out of anger, the existence of people like this makes me sad, too. I don't know how people get to the point where they feel like they're justified in this kind of behavior.

_________________
“When I stand before God at the end of my life,
I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left,
and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'”
— Erma Bombeck

It always reminds to a 4-strip comic where a man complains that he always give but never get something in return, and then he get a tax that he have to pay.

Joke aside, don't make this you lose faith on humanity. I'm not. There are plenty of good people out there though perhaps they are outnumbered by the bad guys, but they're out there. Besides, there is a right way to be nice since there IS a wrong way to be nice.

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"Double the princesses, quadruple the fun!" - Haken Browning (SRW-OG Endless Frontier)

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@ Ionait: I'm really glad you have a move out date. I've known enough people like this to know that unless they don't have any safety net, they won't straighten up. He probably actually does appreciate you, but has no desire to get better. This guy sounds like a really bad influence on your kids. Not even sure you should have any ties with him at all. Until he gets his whole act together, he will only make everyone he's around miserable. On the positive side, if you do this he actually might get it together and become a worthwhile person.

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I would almost want to call it some kind of mental illness since it makes no sense, but then I think a lot of people would use that term to justify their behavior even more. I didn't know there could be a worse roommate than mine. And now I do. And that is depressing. You need a punching bag in your house!!! I know I would!

I can't believe someone would take a crowbar to a lock like that! It made me smile to know he did not succeed after the struggle, but I imagine the door looks awful for it.

I thought people like my roommate and the people from LVUER's stories and the man you know only lived in fiction and television shows to be comedic relief/antagonists for a series. It is only so recently I've found out they DO exist.

@Sharm: I completely agree. I don't think his horrible stay here has ruined his friendship with my husband but it definitely has ruined mine with him. Recently my husband, the roommate, a friend of theirs, and I went to a pub for a fundraising concert. They flat out told him, we're all like brothers, (my husband) is like a brother to me. You're not. You're just... a buddy. Like, a drinking buddy. And it's true. He looked pretty hurt by the comment for all of a millisecond. Then he went back to texting some girls he's been stringing along from Plenty Of Fish, the dating website. @_@

I think he has had some positive experiences here and that's great. We've even learned a few things about ourselves. I'll probably laugh about his behavior when it is years behind me but he's definitely not getting out too soon. Thankfully my kids rarely see him due to his hiding away whenever he is home. Otherwise, I'm sure I would have plenty more problems (and he would have been kicked out a long time ago.)

I wish I could say I think he would change and get on his feet and STAY THERE for once, but I can't. I do wish it for him so much, but I think he is just written a different way. That's just him.

UPDATE!

So, my mother went to do her laundry this morning. Opened the washer, the smell of Axe body spray wafts through the air. It is thick. Like, we all start coughing thick. We have a washer that requires only HE detergent. I don't know why honestly. If I put normal Tide, for instance, in my washer, it could break it. I can only use Tide or All or whatever if it says HE. Voids the warranty if I don't too.

We have seen the roommate putting Axe, like the body soap, into my washer before. At which point I said, you know you're allowed to use our detergent right? And he said "Oh, you caught me, huh?" And I then explained the HE thing. I mean, you should NEVER put body soap into a washer in the first place, but I didn't want to be mean so instead I explained about the HE thing. I thought that was a nice way of saying WHY ARE YOU PUTTING SOAP IN MY WASHER?!

So after muffin incident last night and the fact that it's obvious he washed his clothes with Axe again... My husband and I lost it. Roommate is at work right now but we're basically done. When he gets home I am telling him we are moving up the move out date. We were going to give him until the 13th, that's two paychecks to save up. Now we're going to give him only until his next paycheck, this Thursday. I'm going to tell him to be gone by Monday.

You know what they say "Truth is stranger than fiction"


Even I who never use a washing machine in my entire life at least know that we don't put soap inside a washing machine... or any machine.

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"Double the princesses, quadruple the fun!" - Haken Browning (SRW-OG Endless Frontier)

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Hm, I'm concerned I might actually be OCD. I wonder if I should do something about that, or do nothing and hope for the best.

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I lie awake at night wondering what fresh hell tomorrow will bring me.

***Say You Love Me***Human Enough***Cheerful!Polymorph [NaNo12][Complete!]***


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Do some research on OCD, that should help you figure out how much it's affecting you. I'm undiagnosed mild OCD, and I just keep it in mind and back off when I'm overdoing something. For example, I would love to run the dishwasher multiple times and rinse it by hand, but I know that's unreasonable. So I just run the dishwasher and force myself to acknowledge that it's clean at that point and leave it be. My opinion on medications is that it's a difficult and sometimes necessary road and when it is necessary it is very useful, but if you can figure out a method of dealing with the problem without it, that is so much better.

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Works in Progress: Twin Crowns | Weather Wizard

Oh, I did, once I realized I was doing certain things while not realizing I was doing it (as in, not until after I was like, "...The hell am I doing?"). Long as I don't turn into Monk or something, I'm good. >_>

_________________
I lie awake at night wondering what fresh hell tomorrow will bring me.

***Say You Love Me***Human Enough***Cheerful!Polymorph [NaNo12][Complete!]***


*Website, yo*