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The examples you just gave applied not only to English but also to other languages.

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I tear up, everytime I think of the tear in my new dress.

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I had a book named "English is really funny." There, I found two letters. Both of them were written using the same words but with different punctuation. One letter implied that the reader had ruined the writer's life and the writer hated him more than anything. The other implied that the reader was the writer's only friend and the writer liked the reader very much. Believe it or not, both the letters had the same words. Just the punctuation changed the whole meaning.
I have lost the book, but if I ever find it, I'll post the letters here.

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Okay, I'm back with some more humor.

Number one.
Read the two letters below and decide which one you would like to receive:

Dear John
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours?

Gloria

Dear John
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours,
Gloria

Number two.
A woman called her husband when she found a very expensive dress. She asked him whether he could give it to her as a present. He replied, "No. Price is too high for me."

Another woman called her husband when she found a very expensive dress. She asked him whether he could give it to her as a present. He replied, "No price is too high for me."

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He who doesn't care about the environment doesn't care about his grandchildren.

Saw this one on Facebook regarding Chinese. I haven't verified it, but it looks like it's from a textbook.

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That's a rather famous one. It was written by a Japanese writer during a time when people discussed teaching children in school transcribed Chinese - Pinyin - along with the normal vocabulary. The idea was to increase literacy by introducing an easy way to write things down they way they were spelt - like with the Japanese kana. The writer argued that Pinyin made no sense - by writing above story, which is easily understood by a Chinese listener and easily read in original Chinese but looks ridiculous in Pinyin.

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I don't know if anyone has already posted the ghoti (pronounced fish) example. Sorry if they have, I didn't read all of the pages here.

"gh, pronounced /f/ as in tough /tʌf/;
o, pronounced /ɪ/ as in women /ˈwɪmɪn/; and
ti, pronounced /ʃ/ as in nation /ˈne͡ɪʃən/."

I never heard of the Chinese example above before. Funny! I might show it around to some of my friends and see what they say.

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Ah yes, our beloved english where you confuse people when you desert your dessert in a desert. And never mind how it mugs other languages for spare grammer and practically everything meant something else at some point (e.g. pure used to mean dog poo that was collected for tanning). Or how it's easy to find instances of it breakin its own rules.



If it's anything like scottish gaidhlig...
"Blaah nayj nee cho fay."
Correct? And it has something to do with the warmth of coffee?
I have a theory that the reason gaelic and similar languages have such weird spelling is because when the english forced an alphabet on gaidhlig they made it as complex as possible to help the extinction of the language along. Though I have to say it's easier for me to work out how a gaidhlig word would be spelled than an english word.

That was what the first post was about. Take a look at it.
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=11767#p153224

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He who doesn't care about the environment doesn't care about his grandchildren.

Oh, wow, my bad. Sorry for that. Let's all just think that I was agreeing very, very much when I wrote that, to the point where I repeated the post.

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