Lemma Soft Forums

Supporting creators of visual novels and story-based games since 2003.


Visit our new games list, blog aggregator, IRC, and wiki.
Activation problem? Email [email protected]
It is currently Sun May 26, 2013 1:03 am

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 19 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 5:23 am 
Regular
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:14 am
Posts: 100
Projects: ~FairyTale: The Wander's Test~,~ Boyguard ~
OH HOLD!
Sry everyone since im wokring on another project and have exams at the same timee I decided to put a hold on this one since i havent touched this in a while!
But I wil revive it i promise!!! XD

**Hello everyone! This is my first post and VN, so please don't bite >o< Hope you enjoy!
Image
Title: ~Boyguard~ (It's meant to be spelt Boyguard)
Genre: Mystery, Romance, Comedy
Non-commerical. (FREE GAME :D)


"I silently woke up in the middle of a tidy room. The first thing that popped into my head was...I felt heavy and where the hell am I? Then suddenly the biggest headache hit me causing me to grab my head. Huh? There was an unfamilar feel on my head. But there were no mirror in the room so I couldn't see what it was. Then I realised something big...I couldnt visulise my own apperance! I started to freak out...Big time. A women dressed in an uniform suddenly walks in and is shocked to see my face. She runs out while I try to remember why,who,what,where and how..."

Mei wakes up in the hospital and is told she has been there for one week. She doesn't remember who she is, where she lived, and doesn't recognise any of her friends or family. Aside all of this confusion the doctor explains to her by analyzing her head injury, there were signs of brutal force which also resulted her to loose her memory. Still freaked out the police assigned a bodyguard who is the same age as her for her safety. Together they try to recollect Mei's memories but she must be able to determine whats the lie and the truth before the culprit can attack her again!?

Everyone is holding secrets...

Features!
-No mary-sue protagonist :)
-5 obtainable guys!
-Twist and Turns!
-1 true ending!
-5 normal endings
-5 Good endings
-2(?) Bad endings
-CG art! (mayb a gallery)

Mei's Diary
Image<---Me
(need to edit...)
Mei
Age: 16
Personality: I dunno
Club: Journal?
All I know is that I live with my Aunty who is practically never home...


Weirdos Boys
Image
(I did another sketch of him, hopefully this one will turn out betterr :P)
Name: Rai
Age: 16
Personality: Serious, Stoner, Stupid Slow...(TRIPLE S)
Club: Told me he joined the Protector club? (wtf)
A guy who hardly talks to me unless he feels like it. Is serious about his job and seems pretty over protective which is driving me crazy! (need an escape plan?)
Note: He is VERY behind society trends....

Image
Name: Hajime
Age: 16
Personality: Cheeky, prankster, immature...
Club: Baseball
Whenever there is trouble so is Hajime. A happy chap but seems to avoid only me?! (SUSPICIOUS!)

Image
Name:Masato
Age: 16
Personality: Mysterious, mature?
Club: IT
A boy who is always seen with his laptop. Apparently he's the one that found me injured. (SUSPICIOUS!)

Name: Tadashi
Age 17
Personality: Nice, calm, helpful
Club: Journal (PRESIDENT!)
A helpful senior and also the president of the journal club. He's the last person I talked to before I got attacked?...Heard his popular (suspicious?)

Name: Endo [NEW!]
Age: 16
Personality: Agressive, hot-tempered, gangsta(wannabe)
Club: n/a
This guy seems to hate my guts. Everytime he sees me he does awful things...Is he always like this or is it just me?...

Girls
Image
Name: Umeko
Age: 16
Personality: Calm, mature, NICE!
Club: Art
Apparently my closest friend in school. The one who knows nearly everything about me..

Name: Ran
Age:15
Personality: Cunning and stingy...
Club: photography
A little brat who claims to have a photo of me and the offender?!

Name: Shika
Age: 16
Personality: Cold, Mean, hates me only?
Club: Dance
She hates me therefore I hate her...What's her problem?!

There are also extras but I'll post them along the threadd

Update 18/10/11
I'm doing everything my self so please bear with me >3<
Script 3%
Story 95%
Art 15%
BG 100% (free resources)
Music 85% (free resources)


**More info will be updated! Feel free to give me feeeedback XD


Last edited by poppyrocks on Fri Oct 21, 2011 11:09 pm, edited 18 times in total.

Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 7:01 am 
Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Sat Nov 13, 2010 1:50 am
Posts: 425
Location: Malaysia
Projects: The GXB Rebellion
Oh, sounds interesting! I'm looking forward to the art~
The post seems to have common mistakes though.
I can't comment much since I'm not strict on games but
Good luck~ :D


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 10:06 am 
Regular
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:14 am
Posts: 100
Projects: ~FairyTale: The Wander's Test~,~ Boyguard ~
nero279 wrote:
Oh, sounds interesting! I'm looking forward to the art~
The post seems to have common mistakes though.
I can't comment much since I'm not strict on games but
Good luck~ :D


If ur talking about grammer and spelling, yes I totally suck at them :'(. But thank you anyways! XD
My drawing isn't that great so don't expect too much haha.


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 11:48 am 
Veteran

Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 7:51 pm
Posts: 477
Location: Oregon
Completed: May-chan, The Country with no People
Projects: Him&Me, Memento Mori
It sounds okay, the only gripe I have about it is this part-

-attacked on her head

How about hit on her head? Or something? Attacked on her head just sounds really...Weird. After that it says-

Together they try to recollect Mei's memories before the culprit can attack her again!

Um...When did we learn about any culprit? From what I've learned so far from reading, a girl wakes up in hospital, she 'somehow' hit her head, guy comes to guard her...How the hell do she, or we for that matter, know anything about a culprit? Sersouly, if I woke up in a hospital and I lost all my memories my first thought wouldn't be that 'someone' had done this to me. I don't know, just the way you summarized it makes it sort of odd...

_________________
ImageImageImage


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 12:43 pm 
Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2008 1:23 pm
Posts: 264
Location: US
Completed: Case of the missing bracelet, Case of the mysterious stalker
Projects: Horror/fantasy
Organization: Kaboyashi Square
Welcome and good luck on your game. Art looks really nice, she kinda reminds me of Nanako hehe. I have one question though...is she famous or something? Why would she get a body guard?

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:08 pm 
Regular

Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2011 12:09 pm
Posts: 81
Location: Somewhere in space
Projects: The Cave
Organization: Fudaki Productions
Art seems to be nice and even though it's a mystery it seems pretty light and nice. Will play for sure.

_________________
The Cave - fantasy otome in progress


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 1:45 am 
Regular
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:14 am
Posts: 100
Projects: ~FairyTale: The Wander's Test~,~ Boyguard ~
ririruetoo wrote:
It sounds okay, the only gripe I have about it is this part-

-attacked on her head

How about hit on her head? Or something? Attacked on her head just sounds really...Weird. After that it says-

Together they try to recollect Mei's memories before the culprit can attack her again!

Um...When did we learn about any culprit? From what I've learned so far from reading, a girl wakes up in hospital, she 'somehow' hit her head, guy comes to guard her...How the hell do she, or we for that matter, know anything about a culprit? Sersouly, if I woke up in a hospital and I lost all my memories my first thought wouldn't be that 'someone' had done this to me. I don't know, just the way you summarized it makes it sort of odd...


=3= yesh I can see what your trying to saay. Excuse my fail writing, I (kind of) wrote this on the spot.
Well........
1. she was found near the school entrance, no sign of her slipping, tripping etc (which i failed to mention sry)
2. The doctors examined her head and found signs of brutal? force.
It's true that there is no precise evidence she was attack but by analzying all the fact they've concluded that she was. Thereforee they've hired her the bodyguard just in case the culprit comes back, or until she's regained her memories and identify the culprit.

But thank you anyways I need some feedback! :D

Marcelo_Orlando wrote:
Welcome and good luck on your game. Art looks really nice, she kinda reminds me of Nanako hehe. I have one question though...is she famous or something? Why would she get a body guard?


Thank youu :D:D,
well not really...but MAYBE (dont wanna spoil). Since she's lost her memories she's quiet vulnerable which is why the police lend her a "boy"guard just for safety reasons, until the culpirt is caught.
I know its slighty unrealistic but I'm not the realistic type. :)
Dakishimete wrote:
Art seems to be nice and even though it's a mystery it seems pretty light and nice. Will play for sure.

Thank youuuu! :D

** Re-drew Mei, (improved :P)


Last edited by poppyrocks on Mon Oct 17, 2011 2:34 am, edited 2 times in total.

Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 3:47 pm 
Regular
User avatar

Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2011 6:48 pm
Posts: 44
Projects: Snow White Otome
cuuuuuuuute~
you shouldnt be so hard on yourself-art-wise

_________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rainbows make the world go round... Or was it that rainbows go around the world?

Jewels are Expensive. But Friendship is Priceless.

I was going to take over this website but then I got distracted by Gakuen Alice.

Ran is in the middle of her own otome game right now, Snow White!
-------------------------------Ciaossu!------------------------------------------------


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 7:13 pm 
Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 26, 2011 6:31 pm
Posts: 246
Location: ...behind you...
Projects: A Mysterious Note
Your art is so cute ^-^ I wish my art was like that XD The story sounds interesting! I wish you good luck on finishing ^_^

_________________
A Mysterious Note <----Now with demo!
My DeviantART account


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 10:52 pm 
Regular
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:14 am
Posts: 100
Projects: ~FairyTale: The Wander's Test~,~ Boyguard ~
@SerenaLolipop
Thank you!~ >_<" haha yeh when it comes to art im a bit hard on myself

@Death_HUG
Thank youuu! I've played your game beforee and i LOVED IT! Your art is GOOOD! XD

_________________
-----------------------

<3 DeviantARTT
<3~BoyGuard~ GxB Mystery romance comdey
<3~FairyTale~The Wander's Test GxB Fantasy,supernatural comedy romance AND action!.


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 11:20 pm 
Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 26, 2011 6:31 pm
Posts: 246
Location: ...behind you...
Projects: A Mysterious Note
poppyrocks wrote:
@Death_HUG
Thank youuu! I've played your game beforee and i LOVED IT! Your art is GOOOD! XD

Aha, thanks ^-^ I'll be looking forward to your game :3 If you need any help, feel free to ask me ;D

_________________
A Mysterious Note <----Now with demo!
My DeviantART account


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 6:19 am 
Regular
User avatar

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 4:51 am
Posts: 123
Projects: Water's Edge
Organization: Etoranze
Oh wow, I love the art! >w< Seriously, I think you have a really good eye for facial expressions which is more important than having good anatomy (yours is fine, though!) to me. The story seems really cute, so I'm looking forward to the game, good luck!

_________________
Image
Image (devblog) || devtwitter | devtumblr


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 6:59 am 
Regular
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:14 am
Posts: 100
Projects: ~FairyTale: The Wander's Test~,~ Boyguard ~
@Death_HUG: Awww thanks!
@Joey: Thank you XD! Oh gwad my anatomy is horrible T3T takes me ages to draw a proper body.

_________________
-----------------------

<3 DeviantARTT
<3~BoyGuard~ GxB Mystery romance comdey
<3~FairyTale~The Wander's Test GxB Fantasy,supernatural comedy romance AND action!.


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 8:01 am 
Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 3:20 am
Posts: 442
Location: Hámbala
Completed: Tortichki // Zayay
Organization: SHINE
*a bit continuation from my comment on DA-with changes*

The main chara looks sweet! I especially like her expression. ^^

The other charas sounds nice too! :'D

The art looks pretty nice, charmy~<3

I read the info, the thingie with the lost memories is pretty often used, a bit sounds like people in real life loose their memories all the time, though it's not like that at all, I personally have met neither one person like that in my life till now. XD But still is interesting and I'm curious how well you'll do with the job to show something more interesting and unique, if you're going to escape from the clichés, or no...Wish you luck! ^^

_________________
ImageImage Image
Finished:
- Zayay [Otome?][BxPlayer][NaNo 2013]
- Tortichki [Drag&Drop mini game]


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 8:05 am 
Regular
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:14 am
Posts: 100
Projects: ~FairyTale: The Wander's Test~,~ Boyguard ~
Alera wrote:
*a bit continuation from my comment on DA-with changes*

The main chara looks sweet! I especially like her expression. ^^

The other charas sounds nice too! :'D

The art looks pretty nice, charmy~<3

I read the info, the thingie with the lost memories is pretty often used, a bit sounds like people in real life loose their memories all the time, though it's not like that at all, I personally have met neither one person like that in my life till now. XD But still is interesting and I'm curious how well you'll do with the job to show something more interesting and unique, if you're going to escape from the clichés, or no...Wish you luck! ^^


:') Thank you for your kind words.
Yeah i've never met someone either haha. Only know a few short-term memory peeps.
Yes I personally dislike cliche stories too so I'm trying to make it interesting as possible XD
But thanks for your comment!

_________________
-----------------------

<3 DeviantARTT
<3~BoyGuard~ GxB Mystery romance comdey
<3~FairyTale~The Wander's Test GxB Fantasy,supernatural comedy romance AND action!.


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 19 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: teacup


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Protected by Anti-Spam ACP
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group