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PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 9:32 pm 
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Location: In a jar with pirañas
Completed: Stormy Night
Projects: The Hurtful Wall
:___; I post this on another board...
So after many failures, I decided to make something serious(With serious I mean a proyect that I will actually finish)

This little VN is based on some old story of mine...A little tale of love I guess


The hurtful wall


Specs:
Genre:Romance/mystery/suspence
Licensce: Free
Rate: +14
Lenght: 6 chapters
Endings: Right now I have only two planned..But Im thinking to add at least one more
Current status:
-Finished chapter 03/06
-Scripted 04/06

Demo: Grab it here(till chap 03/06)




The story is about a girl named Lois who realizes how solitary could be her life at her 17 years old.
Her foster mother, Rebecca is always busy working out of town so Lois had to learn how to take care of herself thourgh years.
One day, after another ususesful encounter with Rebecca, Lois started to hear screams and seen things that are out of normal.
She thinks that being alone all that time has started to make effect on her brain...But all her fears will grow bigger when one of the
walls of her house starts to speak to her, adressing itself as "Canaan".


Characters:
Lois:
age:17
Adopted by the age of 8, Lois is a lone and somehow, independent child.
Supposed to live with her foster mother Rebecca, which is always out of town working.
With this workaholic mom..Lois managed to repress lonelyness when she reads books.Specially the ones who are sci fi.
Has two good friends, Elsa and Amy...She spents most of her school life with them.
Lois look is kind of tomboyish...She is mistaken many times for a boy(she is very flat also)
Has no interest on boys and love stories makes her anxious

Canaan
The speaking wall...Has confesed that its actually a "he"
There s much hate on his words and tries always to harm Lois in some way
He seems to be trapped on the wall..Not behind of it or inside--actually he says he got no body
His own memories seems to be so confusing for him that its always pissed off
Since there s no one else to blame..He decided that he would start hating Lois

Other characters--soon!

I will post a demo of the chapter one when I finish it...I only have some screens to show ;__;
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image

The art looks kind of trashie..Im saving everything with web snap..I like how it looks...Maybe because It makes me kind of nostalgic(Most of the games I played on my childhood were very color restricted)Also shame on me..I cant draw a proper bg...

Btw My mother tongue is spanish..So my english is kind of crappy...I think I would have to request beta testers haha..orz

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My WIP project:The hurtful wall
:Other VNs:
+The Knife of the Traitor(Nanoreno 2012)
+Eyes of Wilderness
++Currently colaborating with other folks as an artist.

sadfrog developer blog


Last edited by clua on Thu Feb 09, 2012 8:07 am, edited 4 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 9:35 pm 
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Completed: Ristorante Amore, The Elevator, SPLENDIDEST OTOGE, Nachtigal, Taarradhin
Projects: Break Chance Memento, Swan Grimoire
Organization: Cyanide Tea
I love the art style you've got going here and the story sounds interesting. Somehow it sort of reminds me of that short story "The Yellow Wallpaper" even if the plots are very different. Looking forward to see where this goes!

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 9:48 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 12, 2009 1:38 pm
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Location: In a jar with pirañas
Completed: Stormy Night
Projects: The Hurtful Wall
Camille wrote:
I love the art style you've got going here and the story sounds interesting. Somehow it sort of reminds me of that short story "The Yellow Wallpaper" even if the plots are very different. Looking forward to see where this goes!

:D!! That cheers me a lot! Always I left my VN incomplete and I feel like a moron because...I have the time right now and the capacity to do one...But Its myself always who retains me to continue...Thats why I will post my wips here so I can recive feedback and keep my brain in movement XD
The short story you mention I never heard of it so I checked wikipedia...It sounds very interesting..I always wanted to do something involved with mental health, but Im afraid I will end talking about something I dont know completly :_:

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My WIP project:The hurtful wall
:Other VNs:
+The Knife of the Traitor(Nanoreno 2012)
+Eyes of Wilderness
++Currently colaborating with other folks as an artist.

sadfrog developer blog


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 1:02 am 
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Location: Yogyakarta, Indonesia.
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Projects: Re:Set, Morpheandir Tales, The Alliance, Althernis Precasted
Organization: Memento-Mori VNs, Team Sleepyhead
This sounds interesting, and the art is not trash-y at all! :3

I think it's a very unique style for a VN, will be stalking this!

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 1:14 am 
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Yeah, the art doesn't look trashy, and I admit I like the way title screen looks. The only thing that sticks out to me is that the name 'Lois' at first looked like 'Lols' to me. It could look better in-game, though, and that's more of a nitpick.

Also yes, if English isn't your first language, I'd suggest getting a native speaker, or at least someone who's very fluent, to look over it for you.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 1:45 pm 
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Location: In a jar with pirañas
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Projects: The Hurtful Wall
azureXtwilight wrote:
This sounds interesting, and the art is not trash-y at all! :3

I think it's a very unique style for a VN, will be stalking this!

Thank you so much!! Yesterday I got very carried away with the script...So Im almost finished with the half of the visual


Mink wrote:
Yeah, the art doesn't look trashy, and I admit I like the way title screen looks. The only thing that sticks out to me is that the name 'Lois' at first looked like 'Lols' to me. It could look better in-game, though, and that's more of a nitpick.

Also yes, if English isn't your first language, I'd suggest getting a native speaker, or at least someone who's very fluent, to look over it for you.


Lol...You know I happened to me too!I re-read all the script each time I finish one chapter..and sometimes I read it as Lol also
But I like the name Lois(I couldnt think for a better fitting name for her)I will add a gag about it..Lol

Yes I was thinking about it! Last time I did a VN(http://clua.livejournal.com/59792.html#comments - I dont know if anyone remembers XD)and I let a friend read it and It had so many mistakes that I was so ashamed to ask her again..orz

I will post some little things about the creation of my VN:
As I said before..This was an old comic I did when I was younger...Back then I was very productive lol
this is one page that features a little the main characters:
Image
as you see Lois(Who was named different)was much older..also Canaan
(And yeah we manage to see his real form but I will not spoil the newer design)

Some days ago...We recived a note of the company that provides my city light service, that they would shut the lights for more than
11 hours...Because of maintenance...And I was very bored...I search for my old drawings and found this, sadly, incomplete story of mine
And I thought...What if..?So that day I started drafting the new characters and polishing a bit the story
This is a draft that I made of Lois:
Image

Shes using a sailor shirt(the slaps are pink and the rest of the fabric is green dotted)
and some baggy purple pants..lol

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My WIP project:The hurtful wall
:Other VNs:
+The Knife of the Traitor(Nanoreno 2012)
+Eyes of Wilderness
++Currently colaborating with other folks as an artist.

sadfrog developer blog


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 2:51 pm 
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vaya, pues yo primero voy a hacer la mía en español y ya después si me animo la traduzco pero la verdad es que eso de andar pensando siempre en inglés no me es del todo lindo jaja muchos chistes o demás se pierden en la traducción <.<


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 2:57 pm 
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Projects: I Will Hold Your Hand
Is canaan's upper lip supposed to occupy the same space as his philtrum? Sorry it's just weirding me out. (if that's intentional though, bonus 10 points)

otherwise though I really like the screenshot's you've posted. Very nice overall style you've got going there.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 11:14 pm 
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Location: In a jar with pirañas
Completed: Stormy Night
Projects: The Hurtful Wall
isanohohoemi wrote:
vaya, pues yo primero voy a hacer la mía en español y ya después si me animo la traduzco pero la verdad es que eso de andar pensando siempre en inglés no me es del todo lindo jaja muchos chistes o demás se pierden en la traducción <.<


Eso! Personalmente me gusta poner bastante jerga en mis historias...Incluso siendo de lationamerica..Entre paises las jergas son distintas..Preferi hacerlo en ingles porque...Bueno asi puedo practicar..Tambien porque practicamente casi todos sabemos ingles..Se ha vuelto bastante comercial y es mas probable que asi llegue a mas gente alrededor del mundo jaja
Espero que consigas hacer tu visual!Yo quiero ver!

And sorry I will not speak more spanish..orz..Mods dont kill me

Pugfarts wrote:
Is canaan's upper lip supposed to occupy the same space as his philtrum? Sorry it's just weirding me out. (if that's intentional though, bonus 10 points)

otherwise though I really like the screenshot's you've posted. Very nice overall style you've got going there.



heheheehe...Well I used to color like that...Some shadows doesnt made sense at all(actually I continue doing that)
That design of Canaan is also material to recycle...Specially that horn looks stupid

Thanks for the compliment!Btw I checked also your visual...I would
cofcoffollowMilosroutecofcofcof


I have practically, the first chapter finished...I already have 4 scripted and there are 2 left to write

As far as Im done...I think I will have a lot of fun on chapter 02

If im lucky enough..I will post chapter 01 in a few hours...Heheh Im so anxious lol

_________________
My WIP project:The hurtful wall
:Other VNs:
+The Knife of the Traitor(Nanoreno 2012)
+Eyes of Wilderness
++Currently colaborating with other folks as an artist.

sadfrog developer blog


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 11:30 pm 
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Completed: Ristorante Amore, The Elevator, Witch/Knight, Nachtigal, Taarradhin
Projects: Athena, Break Chance Memento
Organization: Cyanide Tea
Yay, I really like the kind of tapestry feel the art has, it feel very tactile :D I really like the look of the main menu, though a teeny tiny nit pick would be the title blends in a little bit.

Overall, it looks very interesting, so good luck!

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The other 1/2 of Cyanide Tea l My Deviantart Account I My Tumbler Account I Break Chance Memento I Ristorante Amore


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 1:55 am 
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The title screen and sprites are so cute! And the mysterious atmosphere seems very promising. I'm curious to see the finished story.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 2:05 am 
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Very unique artstyle. To be honest, I prefer grungy, atmospheric artwork to sharp, vivid ones.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 11:18 am 
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Location: In a jar with pirañas
Completed: Stormy Night
Projects: The Hurtful Wall
Auro-Cyanide wrote:
Yay, I really like the kind of tapestry feel the art has, it feel very tactile :D I really like the look of the main menu, though a teeny tiny nit pick would be the title blends in a little bit.

Overall, it looks very interesting, so good luck!


Thank you! Ah..I checked that! Thank you for letting me know
I finished chap 01 Im uploading right now..I hope to hear what you all think

natsumachi wrote:
The title screen and sprites are so cute! And the mysterious atmosphere seems very promising. I'm curious to see the finished story.

Hi! Thank you for the interest! Im uploading right now chapter 01(01/06)
Im very motivated right now haha

PrivateEyes wrote:
Very unique artstyle. To be honest, I prefer grungy, atmospheric artwork to sharp, vivid ones.

Thank you! Im glad to hear many people enjoy the artwork...I like to do bizzarre things but sometimes Im kind of unsure
if its ok to fill the visual with all of that..so I have some of my tastes on tame lol

I will update the first post with the link and some info of de game/demo

Please be free to check it out and point whatever you feel that needs criticism

OK the demo is on the first post

_________________
My WIP project:The hurtful wall
:Other VNs:
+The Knife of the Traitor(Nanoreno 2012)
+Eyes of Wilderness
++Currently colaborating with other folks as an artist.

sadfrog developer blog


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:01 pm 
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Location: In a jar with pirañas
Completed: Stormy Night
Projects: The Hurtful Wall
Posting Lois sprites since I dont know how to bump this lol:

Image

I will try in a future lips animation along with blinking...Ive only tried blinking before

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My WIP project:The hurtful wall
:Other VNs:
+The Knife of the Traitor(Nanoreno 2012)
+Eyes of Wilderness
++Currently colaborating with other folks as an artist.

sadfrog developer blog


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 11:01 am 
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elsa s frontal sprites in progress! Christmas is a busy time :_; I wish I could have all the day doing this stuff

Image

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My WIP project:The hurtful wall
:Other VNs:
+The Knife of the Traitor(Nanoreno 2012)
+Eyes of Wilderness
++Currently colaborating with other folks as an artist.

sadfrog developer blog


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