Raven [BxG] [Romance] (First VN) - FINISHED!! May 4, 2015

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Catlip Candy
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Raven [BxG] [Romance] (First VN) - FINISHED!! May 4, 2015

#1 Post by Catlip Candy »



Hoho~ I finished it! Yaaaay~ I'll just eat a quick lunch then find a site where to put the file~ Hohoho~ Soooo nervous... darn it.... Internet is so slow...


UPDATES:

3/4/2015 Since script is fully complete, I decide to do the sprites. All in all, I have sketched Mica's sprite, and Jonas'. I also have 6 CG sketches. Yep, I want to add CGs. But I'm having trouble with the sprites. When I draw in SAI, the background is white. And I don't know how to separate it from the image. I've tried Photoshop, and received ineffective results. I don't like the edges of my sprite. I tried to place them on a background and they look awful.

2/28/15 Script is fully complete! YAY! I'm working on the sketches! Since I don't have a drawing tablet, this will be difficult. I might post some sketches later (my brother's still sleeping and I need his permission to use his camera). My sketch will be very different from the file attachment. Taking my time really, really slow!

1/31/15: Some progress on the script whereas Raven's Day 3 as a human being is already complete! Doesn't have much time because of school. I'll update again once script is fully complete!




Long intro of the story... phewwsshh!
Story Plot
Watching from his cage, he could see how his master, Mica suffers from the treatment she's getting from her boyfriend, Jonas. Despite all this, Mica still loves her boyfriend even though she's being treated badly by the jerk. And so, Raven, Mica's pet bird, couldn't take it anymore. Raven longs to be with Mica. To give the thing that jerky Jonas couldn't give to Mica: love.

And then one day, Raven felt dizzy. After blacking out, he sees his cage destroyed beside him. Things around him became a little bit smaller than usual. And when he looked into the mirror, he is now a human being!

How can he live as a human when he doesn't even know where to start?
Player will play as Raven. The goal is to win Mica's heart and to tell the truth that her pet bird is standing before her, as a human being, without making Mica think that he's crazy!



This is my very first VN... Don't laugh at the story plot >_< I want all your advice and comments, senpai!~

Code: Select all

    "{i}It's 6 AM! Time for breakfast!{/i}"
    "{i}Any minute now, that wooden door could open.{/i}"
    "{i}And Mica will come in and serve my food.{/i}"
    
    # SFX : door opens then closes
    
    M "Good morning, Raven!"
    M "Breakfast's ready!"
    "{i}Mica flashed the brightest smile ever!{/i}"
    M "Today, you're gonna have Chef Mica's specialty!"
    "{i}Yeah, right. It's the same everyday.{/i}"
    "{i}But I'll eat anything for you!{/i}"
    M "Here you go!"
    "{i}Mica placed the food and water inside my cage.{/i}"
    "{i}I gobbled it all up in an instant.{/i}"
    M "Good girl!"
    "{i}Uh... I'm a male actually.{/i}"

    M "By the way Raven..."
    M "I might not be home early tonight."
    "{i}Oh, no. Not again!{/i}"
    "{i}Is it because of Jerky Jonas?{/i}"
    M "Jonas invited me to a club party so..."
    "{i}I knew it, Mica!{/i}"
    "{i}That jerk! Don't go, Mica!{/i}"
    "{i}You know I hate that guy!{/i}"
    M "My boyfriend is so busy, I rarely see him."
    "{i}Yeah, he's busy.{/i}"
    "{i}Busy flirting with his other flings!{/i}"
    M "Raven, I don't know what to do."
    M "I want to make our relationship work."
    "{i}Oh, Mica.{/i}"
    "{i}Don't give me that sad face.{/i}"
    "{i}Hey! I know how to cheer you up!{/i}"
    
    # play Ravens song
    
    M "Raven! What a wonderful song!"
    M "Thank you for cheering me up!"
    "{i}Heh! This is what I'm good at!{/i}"
    M "Oh, the time! I got to go!"
    "{i}W-wait, where are you going?{/i}"
    M "I won't stay up late, I promise!"
    "{i}D-don't go! Mica! Stay here!{/i}"
    "{i}Stay with me and forget about Jonas!{/i}"
Thank you for reading this, if anyone did. Sorry for the trouble and the bother, and for boring you. :D[/color]
Attachments
I'm not really good at shading. This is Raven. His clothes are wet. Don't ask why.
I'm not really good at shading. This is Raven. His clothes are wet. Don't ask why.
This is Mica. I am not good in making hairstyles, no?
This is Mica. I am not good in making hairstyles, no?
Last edited by Catlip Candy on Mon May 04, 2015 4:44 am, edited 9 times in total.

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Re: Raven (title might change...)

#2 Post by 78909087 »

BxB is 'boys love' where there is homosexual content (specifically males). NVL is a mode in Ren'py that allows text to cover the whole screen rather than just a dialogue bar. Since your game is a malexfemale romance plot, your title could be 'Raven [GxB] [Romance]'

Also a good website for royalty-free music is Kevin McLeod's site. Remember to credit him if you use his works. As for using a mouse- I think you're out of luck. Most digital artists use tablets that monitor pressure and contact.

I don't know how to find word-count and I don't particularly care for it.
A piece of advice even I got? Keep your writing to yourself before the demo, or else others will criticize you and expect what THEY want. Its pressure you don't need, to conform to a false standard.

Good luck!

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Re: Raven (title might change...)

#3 Post by Catlip Candy »

78909087 wrote:BxB is 'boys love' where there is homosexual content (specifically males). NVL is a mode in Ren'py that allows text to cover the whole screen rather than just a dialogue bar. Since your game is a malexfemale romance plot, your title could be 'Raven [GxB] [Romance]'

Also a good website for royalty-free music is Kevin McLeod's site. Remember to credit him if you use his works. As for using a mouse- I think you're out of luck. Most digital artists use tablets that monitor pressure and contact.

I don't know how to find word-count and I don't particularly care for it.
A piece of advice even I got? Keep your writing to yourself before the demo, or else others will criticize you and expect what THEY want. Its pressure you don't need, to conform to a false standard.

Good luck!

Thank you very, very much for your advice! Although I don't think I'll be releasing a demo... D-do I have to? I thought I could just go straight into releasing the game! But if I'll be releasing a demo, I'll keep this in mind!

OMG thank you for informing me about Kevin McLeod!!! I found incompetech and freemusicarchive! This is so cool!!! Thank you!
I'll learn how to do NVL. I've googled NVL and I've played some visual novels that uses NVL! It's neat!

And I'll be changing the thread subject, following your advice. Thank you very much! Senpai!!!~

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Re: Raven [GxB] [Romance]

#4 Post by Anne »

Since your game is a malexfemale romance plot, your title could be 'Raven [GxB] [Romance]'
Actually GxB (girl x boys) means female protagonist so yours should be the other way round - BxG

There're lots of free resources (and links to other sites containing them) on these very forums, in the Creative Commons section, nice sprites collection is this, for BGs the biggest one would be this but you'll probably need home interiors rather than school facilities?

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Re: Raven [GxB] [Romance]

#5 Post by Catlip Candy »

Anne wrote:
Since your game is a malexfemale romance plot, your title could be 'Raven [GxB] [Romance]'
Actually GxB (girl x boys) means female protagonist so yours should be the other way round - BxG

There're lots of free resources (and links to other sites containing them) on these very forums, in the Creative Commons section, nice sprites collection is this, for BGs the biggest one would be this but you'll probably need home interiors rather than school facilities?

Wow! I love the BGs! Yes, I need house interior rather than school! But there are backgrounds like streets and bedrooms! This will be very helpful! Ah! I will change the title :XD I didn't know :oops: and also the WIP thing, I am curious.

Thank you very much for the links!!! Senpai!~ I will use them! :D
All I ask from the readers is to give feedback on what they think I should improve more.
Even the harshest comments are welcomed and greatly appreciated, as long as it is your truthful opinion!
Please help me become a better visual novel creator!

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Re: Raven [BxG] [Romance]

#6 Post by akemicchi »

I hope Jonas isn't just your typical jerk character. I know it's a small game, but having Jonas' character solely revolve around that personality will make the player wonder why Mica is in love with someone who apparently treats her so badly/doesn't care about her. I personally wouldn't want Raven to end up with Mica if she were so attracted to such a terrible man.

If the characters are a lot more than what you're describing, though, then nevermind. It'll be fun to read!
IDK how you can tell the number of words your VN has. Where can I find it in the Ren'Py engine? >_< And how to attach scripts? I want to assure anyone who's reading this that it's not some ghost script I'm making.
On the Ren'Py launcher, click Check Script (Lint). A window will pop up when it's done that'll give you statistics of your game like how many words, characters, menus, images, etc you have currently in the game. You can attach scripts like how you attached images on this board, or you can click the Code button up in the toolbar above where you post a reply and copy your script there.

Creative Commons is a great place for resources. You could also download some free games and check their credits to see where they get their music from. Sometimes they'll have a link to free resources. You have to double check though.

Good luck with your game!! :)

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Re: Raven [BxG] [Romance]

#7 Post by Catlip Candy »

akemicchi wrote:I hope Jonas isn't just your typical jerk character. I know it's a small game, but having Jonas' character solely revolve around that personality will make the player wonder why Mica is in love with someone who apparently treats her so badly/doesn't care about her. I personally wouldn't want Raven to end up with Mica if she were so attracted to such a terrible man.
Well, I'm making Mica a loner here. (Some sort of a Nagisa Character from Clannad). She did have some friends but "they all started to fade away". She couldn't keep up connections, a timid person she is. That's why she values Raven so much. She only has her pet bird. And Jonas is the very first boyfriend that she had. She takes seriously of this first relationship she ever had, thinking Jonas could still change. (After all, Jonas was a sweet guy at first, just to win Mica).

And later on, Raven solves Mica's problem as a timid person, and she was able to talk to her old friends again!


akemicchi wrote:On the Ren'Py launcher, click Check Script (Lint). A window will pop up when it's done that'll give you statistics of your game like how many words, characters, menus, images, etc you have currently in the game. You can attach scripts like how you attached images on this board, or you can click the Code button up in the toolbar above where you post a reply and copy your script there.
I see the Check Script (Lint) on the engine. It did open a window in jEdit. And it's totally blank!!! :shock: what's happening!!! :cry:

And it's the "c" button, right? All right, I'll edit the thread!

akemicchi wrote:Creative Commons is a great place for resources. You could also download some free games and check their credits to see where they get their music from. Sometimes they'll have a link to free resources. You have to double check though.
Yeah! I've been searching threads in the Creative Commons now! Though with different sprites from different artists, I realized the art style is not consistent. Maybe I'll stick to my "mouse-drawn arts". If I could call it an art.

Thank you for pointing out about Jonas!!! I'll put more detail about him in my story! This is a really good advice!
All I ask from the readers is to give feedback on what they think I should improve more.
Even the harshest comments are welcomed and greatly appreciated, as long as it is your truthful opinion!
Please help me become a better visual novel creator!

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Re: Raven [BxG] [Romance]

#8 Post by akemicchi »

I read the script you have up there and... your game sounds... really cute... I like it.
Fake Existence wrote: I see the Check Script (Lint) on the engine. It did open a window in jEdit. And it's totally blank!!! what's happening!!!
;;; I have no idea why it's doing that. Does the game launch fine? If it does, maybe you could try changing the default text editor through Preferences.

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Re: Raven [BxG] [Romance]

#9 Post by Catlip Candy »

;;; I have no idea why it's doing that. Does the game launch fine? If it does, maybe you could try changing the default text editor through Preferences.[/quote]


Oohp! There was some mistake with the script! So the Game Launch wasn't working. But I've fixed it and the Check Script (Lint) is now running! :lol: I forgot that I was still learning how to do the "if" statements and I still don't know how it works, so am looking for tutorials. :D Thanks for telling me!

akemicchi wrote:I read the script you have up there and... your game sounds... really cute... I like it.
kyaaaa!~ :oops: Thank you for your kind words! Though I already reached two bad endings on this visual novel, those bad endings sounded bizarre, or ridiculous! Weird endings. I might change some scripts. I hope it all goes well!
All I ask from the readers is to give feedback on what they think I should improve more.
Even the harshest comments are welcomed and greatly appreciated, as long as it is your truthful opinion!
Please help me become a better visual novel creator!

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~~~~~~ Catlip Candy ~~~~~~~



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Re: Raven [BxG] [Romance]

#10 Post by 78909087 »

Fake Existence wrote:I forgot that I was still learning how to do the "if" statements and I still don't know how it works, so am looking for tutorials.
I can assist with that, if you'd like?

What variables were you planning on using? Would you prefer to PM me?

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Re: Raven [BxG] [Romance]

#11 Post by Anne »


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