Starting my first VN, need some input!

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Ryu-Gi
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Starting my first VN, need some input!

#1 Post by Ryu-Gi »

I finally decided to try making a VN type game. I've always wanted to make games but don't have the skill to make a full-fledged 3D or even 2D game, so I've settled for making a VN instead. I can draw and I can write, as well as model and texture in Maya and Photoshop, so I plan on using those skills to make a game by myself as much as possible. I do, however, realize that I will need some help and input, being that this is not only my first time working on a visual novel and a project of this scope, but also because I haven't written a damn thing in years.

Here's the basic idea for this one. Instead of the sort of stereotypical moe-blob filled high school romance bullcrap that plagues this genre that I want nothing to do with, I decided to focus on telling a story more in the vein of the more recent Telltale games, like the Walking Dead, etc., i.e. serious stories where the player has to make important moral decisions.

Knights of Arcturus: The Halcyon Crusade is a fantasy/war/political thriller Visual Novel where you play as Kieran Baptiste, A Knight of the Republic of Arcturus who’s just been given command of his own squad in the war against Halcyon. Kieran was raised to be religious and morally upstanding by his adoptive father. He became a knight with the intent of protecting lives. Now that he’s involved in war, He is forced to deal with the obvious hypocrisy of taking lives in order to protect others. He tells himself that it’s because there’s no other choice, but over time that mindset is challenged. The truth about the war’s origins is also challenged. What’s the real reason this war started? Is it really a just cause? Is there even such thing as a just cause?

Kieran is tasked with investigating a rumor that Halcyon is creating a magically based weapon of mass destruction that could end the war. He is assigned his own squad of 7 other soldiers to come with him. Throughout the story Kieran will encounter the harsh realities of warfare and will be forced to make difficult moral decisions that may mean life or death for himself and the other members of his squad. There will be five chapters, and within each there will be 3-5 choices to be made. These choices are morally ambiguous that will yield positive, negative, or mixed results.

Here's the characters I've got written up so far:

KIERAN BAPTISTIE
Image
The Player’s character. Hailing from the southwest corner of the republic of Arcturus, Kieran Baptiste was raised by an adoptive father, a priest of the L’Englican faith, after he was found in the woods as a baby, abandoned by his family, the Baptistes, which were rich and cruel vineyard owners. Kieran has since inherited his deceased parents’ estate and promised to make up for his parent’s sins.
Kieran is deeply religious and wants to believe in the best of humanity, to a fault; he’s a bit naïve in this aspect. He strives to be as moral as possible, which will be difficult in a time of war. Kieran became a Knight with the intention of protecting as many lives as he can. The upcoming struggles will test his faith.
Kieran has now been given a special mission investigating rumors of Halcyon creating a super-weapon against Arcturus. He’s matched up with a squad of 7 other warriors to help him.

VINCENT VANCE
Image
A cocky but generally kind former thief who worked as Kieran’s butler at his villa. He’s asked to put his old thief skills to work for his country and fights alongside his master.
Vincent was caught during a heist and was sent to work for Kieran as part of his rehabilitation. Despite being glad to work for Kieran, he has still had some occasional trouble with the law out of old habit. Kieran’s annoyed by this but insists that steady work will help straighten him out.

FATHER DERIK
(Picture not yet available)
Kieran’s adoptive brother followed in his father’s footsteps and became a L’Englican priest. He now serves the Arcturian army as a War Cleric providing healing and counsel for wounded soldiers. He has a strong brotherly relationship with Kieran and has known him the longest out of the squad.

TANYA
(Picture not yet available as Character is currently being redesigned.)
She’s a member of the Lucan tribe, which lives deep in the forests of Arcturus, isolated from the rest of the nation. Their interactions with the rest of the country are minimal, but since the war with Halcyon affects them as well, they too have joined in the fight. Despite her people’s distance from the rest of Arcturus, Tanya is tough, loud, but also friendly and loyal. Tanya was a blacksmith’s daughter and learned to forge her own weapons. She loves a good fight and coming home with her comrades to a big party with lots of alcohol. But, she also takes the loss of friends very harshly, completely shutting down and isolating herself from others to sit quietly with a drink.

AHNK
character art: http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs37/i/2008/ ... Ryu_Gi.jpg
A reformed assassin from the Angor deserts far south of Arcturus. When she was younger she became an assassin in order to avenge her parents, but after her clan started forcing her to kill others for coin rather than for justice, she decided her talents were better used elsewhere. She left the desert behind and traveled north to join the Arcturian Army and put her skills to work in infiltration. She keeps her face covered due to an Angorian tradition of women only showing their faces to their loved ones and/or those they truly trust. She keeps her distance from others and prefers to not talk to others if she has to.

ANNA VALENTINO
character art: http://th09.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2 ... 54dmub.jpg
Anna Graduated top of her class from the Institute of Alchemy, the youngest person in the school's history to do so. Despite this, or as a result, she has a bit of a Napolean Complex-Because she's the youngest. (Not to mention shortest.) She has a tendency to be over-the-top in trying to convince others of her skills. She sees the mission as an opportunity to prove her worth to the world.

CAPTAIN CLARISSA LASADE
Image
The dread pirate Lasade, who prefers you not call her by her first name, (It’s not pirate-y enough!) is a huge flirt with a fiery personality and a passion for explosives. After being arrested by the Arcturian government, she made a deal to fight in the war in exchange for her crimes being pardoned. Her preference to looking out for the needs of herself and her crew over that of her country of origin make her a difficult person to trust.

What I figure I need at the moment is to rewrite some of the more over-the-top characters to better fit a serious story, not to mention come up with an 8th character for the squad. I'm torn between having either an archer or a sorcerer.
Feeling much better lately!

Now working on: "Nekomimi in Boots"
Finished Games: "A Date with Markiplier: The Game"

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Re: Starting my first VN, need some input!

#2 Post by Taleweaver »

If this isn't the archetype of a Work in Progress / Ideas thread, I don't know what else it would be.

Moved.
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Re: Starting my first VN, need some input!

#3 Post by CSV »

Ryu-Gi wrote:I finally decided to try making a VN type game. I've always wanted to make games but don't have the skill to make a full-fledged 3D or even 2D game, so I've settled for making a VN instead. I can draw and I can write, as well as model and texture in Maya and Photoshop, so I plan on using those skills to make a game by myself as much as possible. I do, however, realize that I will need some help and input, being that this is not only my first time working on a visual novel and a project of this scope, but also because I haven't written a damn thing in years.

Here's the basic idea for this one. Instead of the sort of stereotypical moe-blob filled high school romance bullcrap that plagues this genre that I want nothing to do with, I decided to focus on telling a story more in the vein of the more recent Telltale games, like the Walking Dead, etc., i.e. serious stories where the player has to make important moral decisions.
First of all, I would just like to say that a VN can absolutely be a full-fledged 2D game. You seem to be looking down on the medium a bit - just because is different from what most traditionally consider to be a "game", doesn't make it any less of one. And I am sure all the other serious VN directors/writers/artists here can tell you it is hard work, particularly if you want to make it at least of decent quality.
Besides, though I am not a fan of "stereotypical moe high school romance" VNs either, there might be a reason those are popular, and they can surely be done well. I have seen the exceptions.

Now, about your VN idea...it seems great to me so far! Character designs look great, I like the style and I love their outfits (though Ankh could use more pratical armor, I think) and the storyline could be interesting. I would expect it to have a lot of branching choices that shape the main character's personality.
Just be careful about ambiguous choices - it might be upsetting for players when they make seemingly good choices, one after the other, and then the character turns out evil. Not to say this might not be realistic, but be careful how you do it.
Also, I wouldn't worry too much about having an overtly serious tone throughout all the storyline. You should have more light-hearted moments as well, or you could be dealing with a serious case of darkness induced audience apathy.

Oh, and good luck with this project, of course! :D
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Re: Starting my first VN, need some input!

#4 Post by Ryu-Gi »

Taleweaver wrote:If this isn't the archetype of a Work in Progress / Ideas thread, I don't know what else it would be.

Moved.
Thanks, I didn't really know where to put this.
CSV wrote: First of all, I would just like to say that a VN can absolutely be a full-fledged 2D game. You seem to be looking down on the medium a bit - just because is different from what most traditionally consider to be a "game", doesn't make it any less of one. And I am sure all the other serious VN directors/writers/artists here can tell you it is hard work, particularly if you want to make it at least of decent quality.
Besides, though I am not a fan of "stereotypical moe high school romance" VNs either, there might be a reason those are popular, and they can surely be done well. I have seen the exceptions.

Now, about your VN idea...it seems great to me so far! Character designs look great, I like the style and I love their outfits (though Ankh could use more pratical armor, I think) and the storyline could be interesting. I would expect it to have a lot of branching choices that shape the main character's personality.
Just be careful about ambiguous choices - it might be upsetting for players when they make seemingly good choices, one after the other, and then the character turns out evil. Not to say this might not be realistic, but be careful how you do it.
Also, I wouldn't worry too much about having an overtly serious tone throughout all the storyline. You should have more light-hearted moments as well, or you could be dealing with a serious case of darkness induced audience apathy.

Oh, and good luck with this project, of course! :D
Okay, thanks. When I said 2D game I was referring to something a bit more action-oriented and sprite based, like a platformer game or something, or maybe even a Point-And-Click adventure game.

And yeah, I plan on making the choices morally ambiguous, I've got around 15 or so situations written up that I want to use. And yes, there will be humor to balance it out, I'm well aware that it needs balance.
Feeling much better lately!

Now working on: "Nekomimi in Boots"
Finished Games: "A Date with Markiplier: The Game"

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Re: Starting my first VN, need some input!

#5 Post by Charlie599 »

I am loving the character descriptions and designs so far. ^-^ Good luck!

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Re: Starting my first VN, need some input!

#6 Post by Ryu-Gi »

Been brainstorming on the 8th member of Kieran's group. This is what I have at the moment, but I think the character still needs work.

Edessa-
An archer that abandoned the Arcturian army after seeing some of his comrades abusing their Halcynian prisoners. He instead chose isolation out in the wilds of Halcyon, where the government eventually caught him and brought him back. Edessa hates his own race and wishes he was born as a Halcynian, to the point that he decorates his ears to make them look longer like an elf’s.
The only reason he’s working alongside Kieran’s group is because he wants the war to end so that Halcynians can live peacefully, separated from Arcuturians. Bringing peace between the two nations is the first step to that.

I'm iffy about the character at the moment because I don't know if I can make a character like this likeable; He's probably a little too close to the sort of "SJW" types on Tumblr who hate their own race.

At the same time I think this might possibly be a good thing, because the player will come to hate him and want him out of the way. But that could cause the player to question whether or not getting rid of him means sinking to his level.
Feeling much better lately!

Now working on: "Nekomimi in Boots"
Finished Games: "A Date with Markiplier: The Game"

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Re: Starting my first VN, need some input!

#7 Post by Mad Harlequin »

Ryu-Gi wrote:I'm iffy about the character at the moment because I don't know if I can make a character like this likeable; He's probably a little too close to the sort of "SJW" types on Tumblr who hate their own race.

At the same time I think this might possibly be a good thing, because the player will come to hate him and want him out of the way. But that could cause the player to question whether or not getting rid of him means sinking to his level.
Whatever your thoughts and feelings are about so-called "SJW"s, don't shackle them to your character. He may have unsettling traits, but that doesn't mean he's doomed to be unlikable. (I actually like him the best of the lot!)

There's a lot of potentially powerful emotional territory to explore with Edessa; it'd be a shame to waste it by assuming he's going to be hated right off the bat.
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