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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 7:11 am 
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STYLE OVERHAUL
Please think through your game's gameplay again, lady.

Things Not Seen

How do you fight, when your enemy is unseen and everywhere?

In a story with two paths, Artemisia and Aeval want answers to their own questions.

Artemisia is an intelligent teenager able to see the dead. They are her closest friends-- until she notices that something is wrong. The laws of nature has been broken, and she intends to set it right, for them. Even if she has to unveil it all on her own, because the dead won't talk.

Aeval never likes changes. Her deceased mother knows that she is a psychic, but her lack of awareness could kill. The only rule about power is knowledge controls all. And with one of her friends, Will, gone, and discoveries that change her reality, can she keep a tight lid over her powers?

Their stories are two sides of the same coin, interwoven. Their enemies are one, and who it is, no one really knows. But as they step forward-- is the knowledge that they're going the right thing enough to resist power?
------------------------------

Tl;dr : In which Artemisia, Aeval and co. tries to destroy an invisible enemy without losing their sanity.

Image

[Seen from left to right]

Aeval
Aeval is hyperactive and in love with sour sweets. Often in denial when the change is negative. Her psychic powers go beyond sensitive eyesight and aura detecting. Lives with her dad with no knowledge of her mother's murder.
Delbert
First son of "a rich guy", older brother of Wilhelm. He's the leader of the pack. Cares very much about Will, as they grow up close (Mother's busy being paranoid and Father's a shitty workaholic) and would do a lot to find him.
Lucia
A quiet (but not shy) girl who is the current voice of reason of the team. Lucia often reprimands Aeval and Delbert for being reckless and stupid. She seems to know a bit about history. The only one Artemisia likes in the beginning (Artemisia doesn't use her usual snarky style and seems more polite.)
Artemisia
Artemisia is smart but not very normal. She likes sarcasm, but being mean is prohibited by Alton, whom she looked up to, so she tries not to. She had a lot of social problems, including being homeschooled after being kicked out of school 4 times.


---
[IMG pending]

Mark
A pretty outgoing waiter/college student. Artemisia finds no fault with him, and her strange humour seems to make him laugh anyway, so she's neutral about him. He's actually pretty smart and knows a lot of people, and is willing to lend an ear for anyone who needs to talk.
Wilhelm
Quiet and intelligent, Will's mother passed her knowledge to him. He runs away and ultimately sets up the board for the whole game.

Alton
A long-dead detective who acts as Artemisia's mentor. He hides a lot of things from her, instead giving her bits that would help her reveal things herself. He's firm.
Rene
A sweet painter in the 1900's, the person who would cushion Alton's blow (words) and makes sure Artemisia fulfils her needs as a human. She taught Artemisia about arts.
Mr. Rowell
Artemisia can't really identify from where he came, but Mr Rowell is half-owl who sprouts wisdom and seemingly has endless patience. He willingly helps Artemisia when she asks, and ultimately holds the final say over Artemisia (when he talks.)

------------------------

I APOLOGISE FOR THE CURRENT LACK OF CHARACTER ART but drawing so much kills my muse.

Statistics:

The game contains 686 screens of dialogue.
These screens contain a total of 7,198 words,
for an average of 10.5 words per screen.
The game contains 11 menus.

Chapter 1 of Artemisia's Path + 2/3 of Aeval's Path.

ImageImage

Notes:
> Has roughly 11 endings
> 16 chapters (Each path spans 8 days)
> 3 trainable stats (That might mean life or death)

Random updates can be found here, including info and stuffs I've been thinking about.

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Last edited by Egressus on Sun Jun 10, 2012 8:19 pm, edited 9 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 7:18 am 
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Loving their uniforms! <3
They look so original somehow...
Come on, please tell me the secrets how you draw clothes
LOL, good luck for your project! :)

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 7:28 am 
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Thanks!
Secrets? What secrets? I only follow these sorts of tutorials
Thanks, I'm already nursing a headache from sorting an error (I hate question times-- they have lots of if and continues in different labels)

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PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 1:59 am 
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Egressus wrote:
Thanks!
Secrets? What secrets? I only follow these sorts of tutorials
Thanks, I'm already nursing a headache from sorting an error (I hate question times-- they have lots of if and continues in different labels)


*off to go read the tutorials*
So, will this game has a romance or anything like that? :D
And how long will this game be?

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PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 2:13 am 
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Great artwork! And interesting names too, I don't think i've heard the name Delbert. :)

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PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 11:54 pm 
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Let's say I spend too much time on baby names sites lol (And Delbert is a name used back in the 1900's. Not very popular today, so I'm not surprised.)
And thank you!

@Sai; There's no current love interests, but I plan to add some on the second and third ones. Artemisia demands that I make some more mysteries, except they're more murder mysteries. (And my plans for the third one still treats romance as a secondary thing. Apparently I can't do romance.)
There will be undertones, though. Like Aeval seemingly too close to Will. Ahem. The most romance-y thing I'll put in is Artie's relationship with Mark, but since they've known each other for 8 days, I think it's really too early :p

As for the length... Perhaps 2-3 hours? I can't be sure-- the original story is already a 50k novel, and with the branches I'm adding, getting all 11 ending is going to take some time.

I think I'm going to speed up a bit (have been procrastinating, sadly) and put up several plans because I need opinions.

EDIT: The sprites are changed a bit. Roughly, it looks like this, compared to the old ones.
Image

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PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 8:52 am 
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Hey, I think the new sprite looks nice! It makes the characters look somehow slimmer (?) I don't know for sure, but it's getting better!
So, there won't be any romance path with Delbert? That's a pity, since I'm a sucker for rich guy ;__;
How about yaoi path boy's friendship path? :oops:

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PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2012 1:41 am 
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That's... surprising. xD
I guess I didn't think about it since-- nevermind, I won't ruin your fantasies.
There's a way to be close friends with him-- mainly by choosing him for everything. (If it helps, there's an Artie-path scene that is awesome if you go with Del. Crazy things happen with him)

As for boys friendship... /crazy maniacal grin
You just gave me an idea. The next part will have 2 more "dateable" guys. I think I'll make it so you can actually push them together. lol (Some people would be horrified, but it's more like additional content for the bored and the fujoshi)
In fact, one of the two guys is a rich guy. Two birds one stone? lol

For this game, it's just not possible to have yaoi boys' friendship. There's 3 male characters and 1 is off-screen and the 2 don't even know each other.

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PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2012 1:41 pm 
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I'm looking forward to this. Will we be able to switch characters after every chapter, or do we play as Artemisia or Aeval from beginning to end? I'm interested in the trainable stats aspect of the game, too. I'm guessing if your stats aren't trained up enough at certain points, you won't be able to call on the dead for answers (as Artemisia) or your psychic powers fail (as Aeval).

And, Mr. Rowell is half-owl? Interesting. :) Good luck with finishing!

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PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2012 10:19 pm 
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My original plan was switching between Artemisia and Aeval, but I'll tell you-- it's confusing as hell. There are parts where both parties are affected, and I wanted to show it from both perspective (because it's a big hint.) (And they both have splitting headaches so they don't notice the other.)
So at the beginning you can choose which you'd rather play first (you can go the other path later). You'll play until it ends. Don't worry, I took the liberty of including only important parts from conversations between Artemisia and Aeval&co.

I don't think you need to call the dead because Artemisia is actively conversing with them lol
But at some point, you're going to need some of the powers. I'm planning to do a pretty creepy screen if Artemisia doesn't train enough, and a bad, bad one if Aeval don't.
Surprisingly, Aeval's powers don't fail. What's worse than dying alone is dying with everyone else. /too much hint, maybe.

Frankly, the first illustration I've had for Mr. Rowell is an owl who wears dress shirt and pants. Not sure how that works but I'll call that being a half-owl. (Human lower anatomy, perhaps.)
It's weird, but NaNoWriMo does that to you...

Thank you!

I'm thinking of putting up some backstories of the characters, but I'm not sure...
Sorry for tl;dr replies D8

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PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2012 7:20 am 
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Egressus wrote:
That's... surprising. xD
I guess I didn't think about it since-- nevermind, I won't ruin your fantasies.
There's a way to be close friends with him-- mainly by choosing him for everything. (If it helps, there's an Artie-path scene that is awesome if you go with Del. Crazy things happen with him)

As for boys friendship... /crazy maniacal grin
You just gave me an idea. The next part will have 2 more "dateable" guys. I think I'll make it so you can actually push them together. lol (Some people would be horrified, but it's more like additional content for the bored and the fujoshi)
In fact, one of the two guys is a rich guy. Two birds one stone? lol

For this game, it's just not possible to have yaoi boys' friendship. There's 3 male characters and 1 is off-screen and the 2 don't even know each other.


Sigh, I shall bear for it now then :wink: uber disappointed for the no yaoi path
But the whole plot is making me crazy of curiousity now, so I'm absolutely gonna play it when it's finished! :mrgreen:

Anyway, for me... I think I want to start planning a smaller game first and complete it *I think it will make my confidence rise a bit that I can actually finish a game*

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PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2012 10:37 am 
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sapiboonggames wrote:
Sigh, I shall bear for it now then :wink: uber disappointed for the no yaoi path
But the whole plot is making me crazy of curiousity now, so I'm absolutely gonna play it when it's finished! :mrgreen:

Anyway, for me... I think I want to start planning a smaller game first and complete it *I think it will make my confidence rise a bit that I can actually finish a game*

I'm writing a smaller yaoi-option game.

Thank you *A* I don't really talk about the plot to people so I'm not sure if it's even nice to read. I have the tendency to overflow my stories with informations, so I'm worried it'll get boring.

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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2012 7:46 pm 
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A good murder mystery always puts me in the best mood.

That sounded odd.

Either way, I'm looking forward to seeing your progress. This looks like it's right up my alley.

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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2012 8:32 pm 
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I think the story line sounds pretty interesting, especially when someone has bonded with the dead they see. The characters also have a great deal of potential. I really like the style you have going on with the sprites, though I think they could use some more tonal contrast. Alternatively they might look quite good on richer, darker backgrounds as a way of creating contrast. Nice work though, I wish you luck with it :)

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PostPosted: Tue May 15, 2012 11:36 am 
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@Gear; There's plenty of dead people (some ghosts, some just important past death events), but sadly, in this one, you don't exactly run after someone who recently murdered people. She murders, but in such way it's almost impossible to catch her. /hinthint it's something related to our inability to believe the unseen
Thanks for considering checking the thread :D

LOL I know how that feels! A good murder mystery. Makes us sound like sadists.

@Auro-Cyanide; Tonal contrast? /don't get it. Once I figure out what it is, I'll try to do as you suggested. Thanks for the comment on the art, by the way. I need it.
Thank you very much ><


No happy ending for those who gets attached.
...
Hey, that should be some catchphrase in the game. Because I just realised that it's like the thing Aeval and Artemisia has in common. /is kinda sleep deprived

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