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PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 8:52 pm 
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Location: Jakarta, Indonesia
Name subject to change, since it sounds too much like the pokemon game 8"DDD so any suggestions are awesome :3

FINISHED CHARACTERS


The Girls

Image

((The green haired one on the left is the protagonist, Reia)) ((The blond on the right is Lacey, a dateable character))

The Guys

Image Image
In order: Lance, Trey

The Plot

This game is set in the fictional kingdom of Feir. Pronounced like "fear". Spooky, huh?

Basically it's about a girl named Reia who wakes up in King Zimri's castle with all her memories lost. The only thing she can remember is being cursed by a pink-haired Witch...and the only way to break the spell is by finding true love in the next 2 months! c':

Reia meets many people in the Kingdom; Hunter (a brave, chivalrous Knight), Trey (a playboy alcoholic flirt), Lance (the King's shy and smart Adviser), Lacey (Trey's cute, flighty sister) and of course Zimri himself (a dangerously sexy, merciless, sadistic ruler).

And one unlockable character ;P shh, it's a secret x3
He's gonna be a hawt shota B)


She also makes an enemy of Genevieve, Zimri's intended bride!

Play as Reia through drama, dates, conspiracy, a romantic royal ball and an armed uprising~

-----**-----

All characters have their designs finished, but not all art is fully complete. I'll update the appropriate sections with pictures when they're done~!

So um, does anyone have any comments, critique? Anybody who'd like to help out with GUI or some programming? ;A; //shotdown

Oh and name suggestions. x)


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PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 9:38 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2010 9:02 am
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Location: Perth, Australia
Completed: Ristorante Amore, The Elevator, Witch/Knight
Projects: Break Chance Memento, Athena
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Is there a really good, plot related reason for the character having no memories, or is it just a way for her not to know anything and for having a plot twist?

Amnesia at the beginning of games is extemely common, and while I won't say it can't be done well, most of the time it isn't. Generally it is used as a lazy way of skipping to the middle of the story and avoiding having to write plot twists within a known world. It's just too convienent and there is a danger of info dumping the player accidently because of a need to explain everything to them. It's something to watch out for, and can be done creatively if you tread carefully with it.

I'm guessing there are a couple artists working on this?

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PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 10:26 pm 
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Yes, there are quite a few artists working on this. :"D Around 8 actually for character art .///.;; And more for extra things like chibis, BGs and dress up. >//w//<

Thanks for letting me know about the amnesia thing. TT_TT My initial idea was actually that Reia is from our world and when she got transported back in time, she lost all her memories. ;o; The reason she time travelled is that the uprising in Feir was actually a tragedy that wiped out everyone in the country, so Celeste (the pink "witch") sent Reia back in time as an experiment to see if one person could affect the outcome of the situation orz

And basically she'll just remember that her old life was boring and she wasn't good at any of her classes and stuff and that she much prefers staying in Feir.

But now I'm starting to worry >.<;; Do you think that sounds stupid? I really want this visual novel to be good ||OTL //dies

Maybe I should just scratch the memory loss thing... *blush*


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PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 10:51 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2004 1:38 pm
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Ketsu wrote:
Basically it's about a girl named Reia who wakes up in King Zimri's castle with all her memories lost. The only thing she can remember is being cursed by a pink-haired Witch...and the only way to break the spell is by finding true love in the next 2 months!


After reading your plot concept, I had a few questions. Here goes...

1. Who is Celeste the witch? Has she cursed other people? How much ability does she have to manipulate time and space? Is she a major character who will be involved in the story? And why does Celeste believe that this girl named Reia can prevent a large war?

2. Are curses common in the world of your story? How many people can tell if an individual is cursed? And how many people know how to remove curses?

3. Will you emphasize serious story (preventing the destruction of a nation), emphasize romance, or find a middle ground?

It's your decision on whether Reia has all her memories at the beginning, or if she does not know much about her previous life and everyday life in Feir. Think about how much time and effort it will take for her to remember her past. Read up on topics such as easy amnesia.

Also, your characters' names seem oddly diverse. TVTropes calls this Aerith and Bob. Is your fictional world a place where people of varied backgrounds live together? If not, then it seems a little peculiar that you'd find a kingdom where women with names such as Genevieve and Lacey live near men with names such as Hunter and Zimri.

One last thing... a few years ago, the now-defunct Anime Round Table and Review podcast discussed Rayearth TV, and the hosts had a tangent about whether they'd rather stay in a fantasy world, or return to the real world. Their answers were varied. So yeah... if you believe that Reia will want to stay in the fantasy world, then that is a valid idea. If you want the player to determine whether she returns back to her normal world, then that is another valid idea. Write what you believe is appropriate for your story.


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PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 10:59 pm 
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Completed: Ristorante Amore, The Elevator, Witch/Knight
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I see. Since it seems quite a bit of the artwork has been done it doesn't really matter for now, but sometimes it's best to split up artwork into different stages so that you can keep consistancy. For example, one person does sketching, one person does lineart, one person does colouring, one person does chibis ect. But I think the art looks very pretty so it's more advice for future projects perhaps :)

Is there a particular reason she can't retain her memory? It's not like she is going to run around screaming that she is from the future/another world. If she has a drop of intelligence in her she will know to hide and blend in while she figures out what is going on.

I like the concept of what a single change can do. It's pretty much the basis of visual novels XD Is there a reason why it had to be the protagonist? The idea of your everday protagonist getting transported to a magical land is a personal fillfillment kind of fantasy (don't we all wish that would happen sometimes :D) and while it is far fetched people are generally willing to overlook it for the sake of the fantasy. However, your story will be faaaaaaaar stronger if there is a specific reason for her to be choosen. It might also help if she isn't a plain jane who may or may not have magical powers they don't know about. Sometimes it's better to have someone who actually has something they are good at that they can help with, or really actually be ordinary and fixes problems the good old fashioned way.

For instance, it could be interesting if her future/past self was responsible for the fall of Feir to begin with.

It doesn't sound stupid, just leaning towards the cliche side a bit. However, if this really is the story you want to tell, and you do cliche well, then it will still be a good game. I'm still a sucker for these types of stories as a guilty pleasure type thing, so it will find it's audience :) But if you want to do something a little different and surprise people, reasoning things and twisting assumptions can do wonders. Even if you start off with a shojo styled story of a girl falling into another world, you could subvert the genre and have a lot of fun changing it to be something different.

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PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2012 12:12 am 
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@gekiganwing

I'm sorry, your TV trope links aren't opening up for me. DX It might be because of where I live, but I'm getting a 403 error. Do you have another site that I could use? D: I'm so sorry. >< Thanks for your questions though! :D They've really allowed me to think more deeply about the story.

1) Celeste the witch is more of a side character, but she plays an important role in the story. King Zimri asked her to curse his nephew Prince Avel (the hot unlockable shota *shot*) so that Zimri could be the next successor, so yes curses are known in this world but not exceedingly common. She's able to time travel to any point, but doing so drains her energy, so she's not able to go too far into the past or future without hurting herself. Celeste is more of a free spirit than a warrior of justice or something XD so she's more interested in messing about and seeing what happens.

2) Curses are a recurring theme but the only way a curse can be lifted is by fulfilling the terms of the curse, or by the person who hexed you. You can't really tell if a person is cursed or not. >w<b

3) I'm planning on emphasizing romance for the first half of the story so it'll seem like a regular dating sim. Then for the second half the preventing destruction element will surface. :3 It'll also split the characters in half as they'll be on different sides of the revolt~!

About the names, apart from the Royal family which has names like "Avel" and "Zimri" and Reia, the main, who is from the future...I didn't really think the names were all that different >w<;; oops

@Auro-Cyanide

Thanks for the keeping art consistent tip @.@ I'll definitely keep that in mind for future projects. x3

I'm going to try and think of a reason for Reia specifically to be chosen o3o Wish me luck! >w<)/ Hopefully that stops it from being so cliche~ o//w//o

I also thought the "fulfillment of fantasy" thing would attract an audience, especially since it's every little girl's dream to be a princess in a magical kingdom surrounded by sexy guys :P or maybe that was just me 8DDD Anyway I'm going to try and add reasoning and twists into the story to make it much more interesting and believable~ <3


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PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2012 10:55 am 
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Projects: Heart of Gold Otome [Character Artist]; Making an Otome [Creator]
Oh my!
I swear I am not stalking you Tearie XD


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PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2012 8:45 pm 
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Yaaay~ *huggles Red-Baby* :3
What are YOU doing here~? Are you making an otome too? ^//w//^


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PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 9:25 am 
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Joined: Fri May 18, 2012 10:48 am
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Projects: Heart of Gold Otome [Character Artist]; Making an Otome [Creator]
Lol to be honest I forgot my login and password for my old account that i made like 2 years ago XD haha
I tried to make a BxG/BxB game back then but that was short lived

I was just browsing when I saw your post and thought 'OMG!!! I know that person!!!'
so I made a new account hahaha


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