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PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 5:59 pm 
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Projects: The Silent Column
This is a work in progress, so content may not be final.
***Recent updates:
    Updated the synopsis, sorry for the delay.
The Silent Column

Synopsis:
    The story is told by many people's points of view before and after the world comes to an end. During The End, people were driven into madness, killing themselves and other people. The grass turned razor sharp and red as well, and the air became hot and humid while sand became black.
    After three days, The End stopped and the things that changed went back to normal- asside from all machines refusing to work. The many dead bodies quickly vanished into the renewed green grass.
    Now, only a few people remain. They're scarred by the end and wish to find out how it happened- to find out who, if anyone, was responsible for it.
    An interresting story about man, God, spirits, consepts, and supernatural forces.

___Characters___
Tashen's group:
    Tashen, Male, 17:
    A 17 year old boy who lives near the dark with his small "family" of Kina, (his sister) Josefine, (his good friend) and Keith (A small boy taken care of by Josefine). He spends most of his time gathering things from the abandoned city and visiting his sister and the other friends he meets. He doesn't know how to feel or how to react to The End, though it makes him sad when he takes time to think about things. He never chose a direction to take in life when he was in school, and now his normal life is simply gone.

    Kina, Female, 17:
    Tashen's 17 year old sister. Fun loving and spunky, Kina has become mentally ill from the trauma of watching her mother kill herself. She hates herself for various reasons and hides it, often putting on her sarcastic mask instead of facing her problems.

    Josefine, Female, 16:
    Tashen's 16 year old child hood friend. She likes to garden and cook, and takes care of Keith, teaching him how to do what she does at times. She's understandably concerned about Tashen after what happened in The End, and when she sees him stirring in his sleep, it worries her more. She is there for Kina, Keith, and Tashen whenever she can be.

    Keith, Male, 11~:
    A small boy who is very playful and kind, loving to make people smile. He loves Josefine and Serra very much, and is forever in debt to Josefine for saving him when his parents were nowhere to be found. He does his best not to be depressed and stay joyous... and because of his happiness, he can often lighten a very saddened heart with his love.

    Amy, Female, 16~:
    A girl who is often in a certain park and becomes friends with Tashen when he stumbles across her one day. She has a calm air and voice about her, somehow seeming motherly. She loves nature and people, and enjoys Tashen's company, often conversing with him about what it means to be alive. Much of the time she simply rests in the park and stays quiet, which isn't as annoying as it may sound, due to her tranquil presence. Though, when snow starts to fall, it's suggested by Tashen that they meet someplace warmer for their visits.

Serra's group:
    Serra, Famale, 11~:
    A small girl who first meets Tashen in the middle of the night by pounding on his door. She feels terrible after The End, and felt strongly that she "had to see Tashen again", though Tashen has never seen her before. Because of The End, she is understandably very quiet and grieved. When she's not depressed, however, she loves many people and tries to help in any way that she can. She is grateful for Tashen's safety and his family's hospitality, and enjoys playing with Kina, and Keith. She can be very mature and serious, but also very fun.

    Nithi, Female, 15:
    A 15 year old friend of Serra, Sal, and Pril. She tends to be understanding, and cares very much for Serra. Before The End, she lived in her house without her parents. She doesn't know what happened to them, or why they were never there. But to her it doesn't matter, because by now they are surely dead. She likes to reminisce and think about many things, and loves everyone in her small circle of friends. However, while her friends often do things, Nithi finds that she spends most of her time alone in her own thoughts or taking in silence. Perhaps she spends too much time by herself.

    Pril, Female, 16~:
    A 16 year old friend of Serra, Sal, and Nithi. Something about her is cold and disturbing, and it's frightening to Tashen. She doesn't talk much, and is very kind to Serra. She has many skills including hunting and skinning, cooking, lock-picking, and physical activities among other things. She hates herself and many things, including Tashen. However, she also often shows him love and seems to be delicate, or seems not to care about him or know him at all. One could easily find that frustrating, but somehow... it feels like she isn't simply insane or rude.

    Sal, Female, 16~:
    A 16 year old girl who's friends with Serra, Nithi, and Pril, who spends her time gathering supplies, food, ingredients, and other things from the abandoned city with her friends. She can be harsh but is sensitive inside, and wants Serra to be happy and wants Tashen to treat her well. It isn't uncommon for Sal to wander away from her friend's camp in the night to be alone, nor is it uncommon for her to scornfully deny any praise

      Trad, Male, 17:
      A 17 year old boy who's friends with Sal and helps her find things in the city. He's naturally leads and is determined, like a fighter, while also being kind and understanding to those who need it. Though Sal may not remember or be aware of this, Trad knew Sal before The End occurred. He had only seen her for a short while at school before she apparently disappeared. He doesn't talk about himself much, though he may if a moment arises. He feels powerful, yet controlled, and is Slaiy's older brother.

      Slai, Male, 14~:
      A 14 year old boy who's friends with Sal and the little brother of Trad. He tends to be timid and has a soft crush on Sal. He likes looking at the sky and collecting trinkets and searching old buildings, being slightly odd in the things that he does. That said, Slaiy isn't very hard to talk to or understand.

Thidria's group:

    Life, Male, 17~:
    A boy who looks about 17 who was found washed up on shore by Thidria. He doesn't remember many things, but he remembers some things in time. He was bleeding badly when Thidria found him, and Thidria gave him his name. However, despite his name, Life can be very cold and distant, especially towards Tashen. But even so... he loves and respects the girl who saved him and listens to what she says very much of the time, including any orders she may give. He is solitary for the most part, but as time goes on, he spends more time with the girl who saved him and less time being consumed with bitterness.

    Thidria, Female, 13~:
    A girl who looks about 13 with long white hair. She lived by herself near the edge of the city before taking Life in.
    She doesn't want to go see the others, and says she's content where she is. It seems like she feels uneasy when Tashen brings up the other survivors. She likes all-dressed potato chips and likes to make simple contraptions in her spare time as her mind wanders. She is oddly mature for her age, striking Tashen as less of a "little kid" and more of a girl his age, because they often spend time discussing mature questions and concepts, or fixing things.

Zaikrady's group:
    Zaikrady, Female, 17~:
    A girl who looks 17. She's tall and slim and feels cold to be around, often being harsh to herself and people around her. Having many issues, she loathes herself and is very dangerous to make angry, wanting secretly and deeply to be accepted and forgiven. Perhaps she has done something terrible before The End which she can't make up. Even though she's covered in her self hatred, she is kind to Christiana and her sister as best as she knows how. Also, she later paints pictures to express herself constructively.

    Christiana, Female, 17:
    A 17 year old Christian girl who takes care of Zaikrady and her sister. She's kind, though in a slightly rough way, and is an old friend of Tashen's. She's willing to preach to you but is sensitive about it and what she says about God and Jesus, because she's been prejudged many times by others based on her name, rendering her somewhat weary. Though Tashen and Christiana have been friends for quite some while, there are things Christiana still hides from him.

    (Christiana's sister), Female, 15~:
    Christiana's 15 year old sister. She's a Christian as well, and likes to go to the library in the city and read non-fiction books about what things are made out of and how to make things.

Others:
    "The Doctor", Male, 17~:
    A young man who was training as a doctor's apprentice before The End occurred. He is a good person but strikes one as stony and not "overly" friendly. Now, he stays in the hospital alone to take care of the few people who need medical attention, including Kina. He can also be found outside gathering various herbs. He is only experienced in physical illness and wounds, and knows much less about mental illness, however when someone with mental illness comes to him, he knows a few tricks and has a few medicines to help them.

    "The White Fairy", Male, ??~:
    A silent fairy with eagle's wings and pupilless, colorful eyes that flow like liquid, who lets his eyes' changing colors bleed into one another. Tashen meets him in the abandoned highschool, where he enjoys making music with his magic. The White Fairy can be hostile and very dangerous despite everything else about him. He seems somehow familiar to Tashen but it's hard for him to place.

    ???, Male, 16~, Deceased:
    A friend who Sal had had not so long ago, in the rare times she would go to school.

    ???, Male, 33~, Deceased:
    A cold and concise man who Sal knew from her past. Sal doesn't even know much about him.

    Alex, Male, 14~:
    A childhood friend who "Pisha" had had not so long ago. He met "Pisha" when she was drowning in the sorrows and grayness of life.

    "Pisha", Female, 14~:
    A strange girl who is weary and longs to find meaning and excitement. She often insists on being called "Pisha". Though it is not her real name, she perhaps finds it more interesting.

____________

Tell me what you think. I appreciate and look forward to you guys' interest and feedback very much. :)
I'm really excited to do this and hear from you guys.
As I go, I'll update this first post.


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screenshot July1st 2012.png
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The Silent Column WIP thread.
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I'd like to be a tree tree tree tree, woohoowoohoo woohoo, to be a tree -you're such a loud mouth. I'm the world champion, I bet you can't beat me. *squee* *squee* *squee* She's not a tree right? Not a tree, Dashie. Aa~! a~! a~! ah~! (loop)


Last edited by ZaisConsultant on Sat Apr 27, 2013 11:45 pm, edited 13 times in total.
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 5:44 pm 
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I won't pretend to know what kind of writing experience you have, Zais, but as someone also working on their first game, here's what hits me.

Your idea for the end is intriguing--it almost appears to be some kind of cleansing, what with the disappearance of the bodies. What would make it most memorable for me would be if it had an explanation other than nuclear bombs or the devil, but that's more of a personal preference, and it's your story.

If part of the game's goal if for Tashen to find out what happened, then perhaps giving him a more concrete reason for wanting to find this out would provide more momentum in the story. Maybe he's just the type of person that needs to know, or maybe he wants to improve Kina's illness somehow? Or he could have no interest at all in learning about it, but is forced to come across these things in his efforts to save his family? Or maybe you've got this figured out already ;D

As far as the characters go, you're right, there are a lot. The time it would take you to make them all unique, meaningful personalities within the game aside, it strikes me as too many to expect the audience to keep track of at once. If Tashen's family is only meeting them in passing, then that's one thing (we wouldn't really need to remember each one in detail, and they could be less developed while still having an impact on your central characters), but if they're all meant to be fully fleshed out... That doesn't mean you should scrap their stories, although that's always an option, but you could try combining a few of the less developed ones.

I think it's awesome that you've decided to take on all of this on your own (I'm just hoping to do the coding and the writing for my game…) and I'm definitely interested in the mystery of what happened to these people--the Man Who Flies and the Foreign Boy in particular. I hope my suggestions came off as exactly that, well meant suggestions, and that your project is going well!

Oh, and I think coding questions go in Ren'py Questions and Announcements. Thanks for that, I wasn't sure until now, but I'll definitely need help in that area later! :D


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 11:17 am 
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Thanks a lot for your feedback, Liz :)
I enjoyed it ^^ It really means a lot.

There are a lot of Characters and Tashen does mostly meet a few of them in passing or maybe only hear about them. I think it would be neat, though, to have these characters relatively fleshed out.
Depending on choices you make, perhaps you can "pursue" some of the characters to find out more about them in depth.
And I was also thinking that after you beat the game as Tashen, you'll be able to play through it as other characters.
Or perhaps the point of view will occasionally change among the main characters in mid game.

Though it's certainly very different, I was kind of inspired by the Kanon anime, where there are unique characters with unique backgrounds, and for the most part, uncovering things about them and their pasts is what the story's all about.

You gave me some good ideas! :) Though I've been thinking a lot about this project, I've only got a (large) chunk of it worked out in my head, thanks for helping me out with ideas for the main plot for Tashen.

Ah, and don't worry *laughs to myself* The End is explained, and it's for a more complex reason than just "the devil did it".
XD oh man...
... if you were in my head right now, you'd find that funny too.

Good luck with your first project, too :) and thanks again for all the feedback.

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I'd like to be a tree tree tree tree, woohoowoohoo woohoo, to be a tree -you're such a loud mouth. I'm the world champion, I bet you can't beat me. *squee* *squee* *squee* She's not a tree right? Not a tree, Dashie. Aa~! a~! a~! ah~! (loop)


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:52 am 
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Hi Zais :) I really like the concept you've outlined so far for The Silent Column. Some questions:

1. Do you know how this is going to end already?
2. Is Tashen forced to learn more about The End? Or does he unwillingly/unintentionally stumble upon the secrets through his bid for survival?
3. Will learning more about The End depend on the player's choices? (So would it be possible to survive without learning about it?)
4. Is the title, "The Silent Column," foreshadowing anything plot related? *U*

And something you may need to consider without explicitly stating it here:
Where does Tashen live? What kind of climate is it? How will the weather affect his survival? How has the world/area changed due to The End?

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 5:16 pm 
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Reikun wrote:
Hi Zais :) I really like the concept you've outlined so far for The Silent Column. Some questions:

1. Do you know how this is going to end already?
2. Is Tashen forced to learn more about The End? Or does he unwillingly/unintentionally stumble upon the secrets through his bid for survival?
3. Will learning more about The End depend on the player's choices? (So would it be possible to survive without learning about it?)
4. Is the title, "The Silent Column," foreshadowing anything plot related? *U*

And something you may need to consider without explicitly stating it here:
Where does Tashen live? What kind of climate is it? How will the weather affect his survival? How has the world/area changed due to The End?


Thanks for your interest and questions, Reikun. :)

1: I don't yet know how this is going to end, but It'll be fun to see how it will ^^ every day I work on it I feel better and better about it and things connect more and more, and more plot comes to me.

2: He will probably find out no matter what path he takes, but I suppose he may not- depending on how much time he spends getting close to certain characters, so I'm not quite sure myself, yet. :)
On one hand, some character(s) had a large part in The End, and I've written a lot about these events.
(In fact, for the last few years, I've been writing a manuscript based around the events related to The End.)
So it would seem a little foolish for me to not make it something you need to find out.
However, on the other hand, because I've written so much about The End, perhaps I should make it an optional path so that the player really feels like they've uncovered something great on their own.
--edit--
...
It will definitely be discussed a little bit, but I don't want it to take over the entire rest of the plot.

4: *grins* The title "The Silent Column" is related to the setting which the story takes place in, so it's neat that you asked those questions right after each other.

5: I was thinking of it snowing or raining sometimes. It would be really interesting for some character(s). Nothing set in stone yet, though.

I feel a little sickly today but I'm excited now. Perhaps I'll brainstorm and write more about the plot.
Thank you for your questions, you guys. They really motivate me to do more work. :)
So feel free to ponder and wonder about some things and ask questions. I look forward to your thoughts :)

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I'd like to be a tree tree tree tree, woohoowoohoo woohoo, to be a tree -you're such a loud mouth. I'm the world champion, I bet you can't beat me. *squee* *squee* *squee* She's not a tree right? Not a tree, Dashie. Aa~! a~! a~! ah~! (loop)


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 9:23 am 
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Eeep! Thanks a lot too, Zais! I was sorta worried I wouldn't come across right, but I'm glad I could help a bit!

And it actually hadn't cross my mind that the characters would have separate paths. I think that would be a great way to keep such a large cast straight in our heads, and it would add replay value since you'd encounter different characters each time around. Playing through as another character could also add a new perspective, especially if it's one we were able to learn relatively little about through Tashen's paths. I like it.

The snow and rain would be cool too. When I read your VN was post apocalypse, I assumed it would have a desert setting, but I guess an original end to the world would have an original impact on it too. :) I'm very interested to see how it all ended now...


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 8:53 pm 
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I'm getting hang of my tablet for drawing. I'm making character sprites right now, and even though they're just sketches, I really love the looks of them so far. :) they look way better than that Serra sprite in the first post.
I'd like to show you guys my progress once I'm done a sprite, but I don't know if this game will end up being commercial or not. So should I cross out the finished sprite with "SAMPLE" or something? :/

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I'd like to be a tree tree tree tree, woohoowoohoo woohoo, to be a tree -you're such a loud mouth. I'm the world champion, I bet you can't beat me. *squee* *squee* *squee* She's not a tree right? Not a tree, Dashie. Aa~! a~! a~! ah~! (loop)


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:08 am 
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Great to hear you're getting used to using a tablet!
Quote:
I'd like to show you guys my progress once I'm done a sprite, but I don't know if this game will end up being commercial or not. So should I cross out the finished sprite with "SAMPLE" or something? :/
If this is your first game (or first game you've considered selling), make sure you've researched what it takes to release a game commercially. As for showing sprite progress, you could probably just have a signature or something if you're worried about your work being used without your permission.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:57 pm 
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:) Yeah, I've gotten quite used to it. It's a really great tool, thanks for helping me out in the other thread.
Yeah I guess I've got some research to do ahead of me~ all well... it'll be worth it.
Hmm~ I suppose that another way that I could prevent people from steeling my sprites is if I just show you shots of the characters, shoulders up, instead of the full sprite. That should work.

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I'd like to be a tree tree tree tree, woohoowoohoo woohoo, to be a tree -you're such a loud mouth. I'm the world champion, I bet you can't beat me. *squee* *squee* *squee* She's not a tree right? Not a tree, Dashie. Aa~! a~! a~! ah~! (loop)


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 2:28 am 
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Serra's sprites are completed :)
Much better than the old one if I do say so~
This sample image shows one of her 24 sprites.
I'm pretty impressed with how customizable I made her.
(Oh, That word's spelled wrong, squiggly line? Well you won't say how to properly spell it.)

Anyway~! I'm really happy with how this is going ^u^ One character down. I think I'll write out some of the lesser characters. I feel like I'm making real progress here. :)

Edit:
Today I realized that I wasn't done Serra's sprites because she needs more expressions, so I did a few more: her thinking, and several more neutral ones. I may not use all of these, but it's great to have them all at my fingertips and then delete the one's I don't need later.
Serra, as of now, has 29 sprites.

I also realized, that I have her written to change her clothes.
She might have 4 outfits aside from this one, or more.
(Nighty, swim suit, winter apparel, casual apparel)

So I'll still be working on her for a while yet, I suppose. :) But it's fun.
I think now that I have all the sprites for her in her first outfit, though, I should start on another character.

Which one should I sprite next from the list? :)


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I'd like to be a tree tree tree tree, woohoowoohoo woohoo, to be a tree -you're such a loud mouth. I'm the world champion, I bet you can't beat me. *squee* *squee* *squee* She's not a tree right? Not a tree, Dashie. Aa~! a~! a~! ah~! (loop)
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 Post subject: Update
PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 8:06 pm 
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Working on line art for Kina :) I'll show you some of my progress. I feel like I'm getting better, I'm happy. ^^


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I'd like to be a tree tree tree tree, woohoowoohoo woohoo, to be a tree -you're such a loud mouth. I'm the world champion, I bet you can't beat me. *squee* *squee* *squee* She's not a tree right? Not a tree, Dashie. Aa~! a~! a~! ah~! (loop)
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 Post subject: Update
PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 5:37 pm 
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Hey there, I just made a background. It's attached. Tell me what you think. :)


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The Silent Column WIP thread.
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I'd like to be a tree tree tree tree, woohoowoohoo woohoo, to be a tree -you're such a loud mouth. I'm the world champion, I bet you can't beat me. *squee* *squee* *squee* She's not a tree right? Not a tree, Dashie. Aa~! a~! a~! ah~! (loop)
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 Post subject: Update
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:23 am 
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Hey~ I don't really know what constitutes a significant update post, so I'm just doing my best here and trying to show my progress when I can.
I'm working on Zaikrady's sprites, now, and though I'm not done I'm getting very far :)
I like showing the characters side to side for height reference and stuff... so I saved one of those for you with the 3 character's I'm working on. Enjoy and comment.


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File comment: Serra, Zaikrady, and Kina progress
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I'd like to be a tree tree tree tree, woohoowoohoo woohoo, to be a tree -you're such a loud mouth. I'm the world champion, I bet you can't beat me. *squee* *squee* *squee* She's not a tree right? Not a tree, Dashie. Aa~! a~! a~! ah~! (loop)
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 Post subject: HMM~
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 10:47 pm 
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Looking around at other people's and more professional peoples' artwork, and anime style artwork, I'm noticing that I definitely need a lot a lot a lot more practice all over. I will be practicing and looking into that. :) ^u^ I'll make a topic in the art section some time and start practicing more and more. I'll keep all of this stuff up here so that you can still see what the (already drawn) characters roughly look like, but yeah, none of this is anywhere near done, I need practice drawing and shading. Wish me luck and pray for me, ok? :) And help me out too, if you can. I think I'll start the thread tomorrow sometime.

edit: I think I'll keep the backgrounds that I have, though :p

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The Silent Column WIP thread.
I also support Image
I'd like to be a tree tree tree tree, woohoowoohoo woohoo, to be a tree -you're such a loud mouth. I'm the world champion, I bet you can't beat me. *squee* *squee* *squee* She's not a tree right? Not a tree, Dashie. Aa~! a~! a~! ah~! (loop)


Last edited by ZaisConsultant on Thu Jul 19, 2012 1:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Writing update
PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 12:04 am 
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Hello all, I wrote a lot of back story for Thidria and Zaikrady today, as well as some for Pril.
I wrote a bit about their personalities too, and just gave them more substance.
I don't want to tell you what it is though, they're spoilers.
But things are going good, I'll keep you posted. ^^

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