Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(GxG)(Music)-Update 03/2/15

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Fenrir34
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Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(GxG)(Music)-Update 03/2/15

#1 Post by Fenrir34 »

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Update 03/01/15-New Character Added
Update 01/03/15-New Logo and Character Sprites Added


Plot- For many years Lynarsia has been slowly decaying and is overrun by strange creatures known as Viruses, which were said to have vanished many years ago. Sasha, our protagonist, has spent many years training in order to defend Lynarsia from these monsters. However, in order to fully kill these beasts, a knight must need a Songstress, a power girl with the ability to turn songs into magic. When patrolling the tower, she meets a strange girl by the name of Noel. Quickly, the pair strike an odd connection and Sasha decides to help Noel in her quest to find a way to rid the world of the viruses once and for all. However as they do, the secrets of the fourth tower begin to come to light and that the world may once again be endangered of collapsing.

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Noel-A girl Sasha meets when patrolling the tower. Though a Songstress, Noel's powers are very weak. It's because of this that's she's trained herself in the art of fighting. Unlike Sasha though, Noel has a much harder time making friends due to her awkward nature and being a loner. Since she's seen by many as being weak when it comes to crafting songs she has constantly been abandoned by her partners and has come to the belief that having one is unnecessary. Though a seemingly serious and distant person, Noel is actually one to jump into a battle without thinking and will take on any enemy who threatens her life. She will also refuse to back down from a battle and would rather die then be humiliated. Still she does have a soft heart and does long to use her magic to help others. Also, unlike most, she has a want to help the Viruses and not just kill them off.


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Yurena- An eccentric who has an interest in the tower. Unlike most Songstresses, Yurena actually prefers not to use her magic much despite her power. Instead she'd rather spend her time in her home reading or creating new 'pets' that she classifies as her family. Though odd and a bit unpredictable, Yurena is a friendly and caring girl who wants to see her homeland prosper. Sadly she has few friends due to always being destructive with her experiments and has gained a few bullies during her years at Arca. She also doesn't talk much about her home life and often gets sad whenever she thinks about. Though Yurena a girl with a pure smile, her magic is actually more dark theme based which would indicate that she has closed up her heart.

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Ruka-A hotheaded girl who doesn't know the meaning of word 'stop'. She's always moving and always is ready to fight the next big thing. To her song magic is a gift and any Songstress should love what they have. She takes her time crafting the most elegant and beautiful songs which has actually gained her some fame. Despite coming from a high class family though, Ruka would much rather go on an adventure then stay home being daddy's little princess. Still she is a tad spoiled though and is quite naive about the world despite her high skill with song magic. Ruka also has a rather bad past when it comes to partners as well. She has gone through so many that none have gotten the chance to dive into her deep enough. Though popular, she doesn't really have that many good friends. The only one she really likes is Yurena. Still she is a passionate girl and strives to make her family proud. But things are becoming complicated for her ever since certain rumors about her father have been coming out.

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Mar-A strange girl who seems to be targeting Noel. Though a stoned face, Mar can be quit the sadistic person and enjoys causing pain to her enemies. She often appears at random times throughout the story, and has a connection to the viruses.

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Ace-A fellow knight and rival of Sasha. Unlike our protagonist, Ace has trained for many years as a knight and is very skilled. However, this is hard for some to believe due to her short stature and rather immature attitude. Though talented with a sword, Ace's proud and short temper nature often makes it hard for her to be in a group. Unlike most knights she doesn't believe Songstresses should be used for battle and so refuses to have one as a partner. Though at times childish and sometimes nosy, Ace is the definition of justice and will protect those in need with a second thought. Sadly many don't take her seriously so she often finds it hard to get a mission. Also it's best not to make fun of her height since she'll have a bad tantrum.

An-Lynarsia is an visual novel that was inspired from the Ar Tonelico games. Lynarsia is my world but the game is suppose to take place forty years are the events of the third game.

The game has the basic visual novel formula. You can play as Sasha and during the course of the story you have to build relationships with the girls as well. Whoever has the most love for you is the story you'll get, though the others will have side stories you can do along the way with your partner.



More Characters Coming Soon~

Progress
Writing-5%(Yeah, I've got a lot to work on...)
Script-5%
Sprites-55%
Background Art- 0% (Really need help with this!)

Credits
Story-Fenrir34
Coding-Fenrir34
Art-by iekika-bp-http://iekika-bp.deviantart.com/#(Thank you so much :D )
Logo-by iiStarCandy(Thank you ^^)

Questions
What do you think of the idea?
Do you like the characters?
Is the art okay?
Any tips?
Last edited by Fenrir34 on Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:40 am, edited 24 times in total.

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Re: Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(BxG)(GxG)(Music)

#2 Post by wererat42 »

Answers
What do you think of the idea?
Was always a fan of Ar Tonelico. The second game was my favorite despite the localization issues. Although I would like to see an RPG, I'm interested even if it's just a pure visual novel.

Do you like the characters?
Cam basically sounds like Lyner from the first game. I like that you're including a female protagonist option. The rest of the characters sound okay, if not a bit familiar.

Is the art okay?
The sprite you have up looks good, though I personally think it could use more color.

Any tips?
Nothing else, really. It would just be cool if you could find a way to include some RPG elements.

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Re: Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(BxG)(GxG)(Music)

#3 Post by Seigetsu »

What do you think of the idea?
I think it's great! I haven't played Ar tonelico before, so I'm not sure if this is too similar to the original or not. Just from looking through the plotline, I find it interesting enough. I love the option of playing as a female character.

Do you like the characters?
I like the main female lead, Sasha's personality. I personally prefer characters who are more calm and exercises critical thinking rather than fight immediately during confrontation. The pursuable characters seem to have variable personalities, which is nice.

Is the art okay?
Pretty good. The girl's eyes seem a little odd though...like she's cross-eyed or something? You could also have a stronger reflection (the white specks on the irises) off the eyes to make them seem brighter. Otherwise, I'm fine with the colour choice, but perhaps some people would prefer brighter colours and more contrast in the shading.

Any tips?
I haven't completed a game myself, but perhaps focus on a route first, in case you find the project too much to undertake? I'd much rather see a small completed project than an ambitious project that never makes it to the end. Either way, good luck, and hope to see more of this project in the future.

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Re: Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(BxG)(GxG)(Music)

#4 Post by Fenrir34 »

wererat42 wrote:Answers
What do you think of the idea?
Was always a fan of Ar Tonelico. The second game was my favorite despite the localization issues. Although I would like to see an RPG, I'm interested even if it's just a pure visual novel.

Do you like the characters?
Cam basically sounds like Lyner from the first game. I like that you're including a female protagonist option. The rest of the characters sound okay, if not a bit familiar.

Is the art okay?
The sprite you have up looks good, though I personally think it could use more color.

Any tips?
Nothing else, really. It would just be cool if you could find a way to include some RPG elements.

I'm so excited to see another Ar Tonelico lover. I know not many may know this game. I would make it an RPG, but I'm not that experienced a coder :( .

And you're right. He does in a way. I'm trying to make the other girls be as different as possible. And I'm glad you like that add on :) . I've wanted to see what Ar Tonelico would be like with a female protagonist as an option.

And I understand what you mean about Noel. Maybe if I can, I'll ask the artist if she can add some more color to here.

And maybe I will. I'd have to have a lot of help on that though 0_0.

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Re: Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(BxG)(GxG)(Music)

#5 Post by Fenrir34 »

Seigetsu wrote:What do you think of the idea?
I think it's great! I haven't played Ar tonelico before, so I'm not sure if this is too similar to the original or not. Just from looking through the plotline, I find it interesting enough. I love the option of playing as a female character.

Do you like the characters?
I like the main female lead, Sasha's personality. I personally prefer characters who are more calm and exercises critical thinking rather than fight immediately during confrontation. The pursuable characters seem to have variable personalities, which is nice.

Is the art okay?
Pretty good. The girl's eyes seem a little odd though...like she's cross-eyed or something? You could also have a stronger reflection (the white specks on the irises) off the eyes to make them seem brighter. Otherwise, I'm fine with the colour choice, but perhaps some people would prefer brighter colours and more contrast in the shading.

Any tips?
I haven't completed a game myself, but perhaps focus on a route first, in case you find the project too much to undertake? I'd much rather see a small completed project than an ambitious project that never makes it to the end. Either way, good luck, and hope to see more of this project in the future.
Thank you so much =). The games are super fun. If you ever get a chance, try them out if you can. And that's why I love fantasy. One can make so much happen in the plot alone

And I'm glad you like Sasha. I'll have to make Cam a little more distinguishable though.

And she does for this expression, but I think the others fix that. Once things are done being paid for, I'll see if my artist can fix that =).

Thanks for the advice. I'm not trying to have anything super flashy. It'll likely be a 50,000 word game. In this case, I want to focus more on story and characters rather then just what path the player gets.

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Re: Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(BxG)(GxG)(Music)-New A

#6 Post by wererat42 »

A few questions for you:
1. What are you planning to do about music? You have it in the thread title, so I imagine it's supposed to be a major feature. But you don't mention it anywhere else. Do you have a musician for the game?
2. Will Diving play a role in the story? It's always been a big part of learning more about the heroines, especially revealing parts that they'd rather you not know about them.
3. Do you think you'll have any issues with NISA, Gust, or Banpresto? You haven't mentioned yet whether this is going to be a free or commercial game. I also noticed that you are calling the heroines "Songstress" and not "Reyvateil" and wondered if that was a deliberate choice.

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Re: Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(GxG)(Music)-New Art!

#7 Post by qirien »

Ooh, pretty! I love both your logo and the character art!

I haven't played Ar Tonelico (though it looks interesting), but the story/art seem to fit what I know of it. I hope you won't have any legal issues... I don't know if you've thought about setting it in your own Ar Tonelico-inspired-but-different world, but that might be better if possible...

I usually don't play GxG games, but if there are friendship paths (it's not required to romance any of the characters), I'd be more interested in it, personally.
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Re: Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(GxG)(Music)-New Art!

#8 Post by Fenrir34 »

qirien wrote:Ooh, pretty! I love both your logo and the character art!

I haven't played Ar Tonelico (though it looks interesting), but the story/art seem to fit what I know of it. I hope you won't have any legal issues... I don't know if you've thought about setting it in your own Ar Tonelico-inspired-but-different world, but that might be better if possible...

I usually don't play GxG games, but if there are friendship paths (it's not required to romance any of the characters), I'd be more interested in it, personally.

Thank you so much for your kind words =). I'm glad the art fits as well. iekika-bp has been working really hard on the sprites and actually did the looks and outfits on her own. As for the legal issues you are right. I've decided to change many aspects of the game and made it so it's inspired from the franchise and not a direct fan game=).

And it will have friendship paths as well =). As I'm writing I'm learning that Sasha isn't compatible with everyone. But even if I did have a romance route for each, I'm also thinking of giving them a friendship route as well. Actually, maybe having friendship as routes for all the girls will be a better idea. I'll have to think on that XD.

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Re: Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(BxG)(GxG)(Music)-New A

#9 Post by Fenrir34 »

wererat42 wrote:A few questions for you:
1. What are you planning to do about music? You have it in the thread title, so I imagine it's supposed to be a major feature. But you don't mention it anywhere else. Do you have a musician for the game?
2. Will Diving play a role in the story? It's always been a big part of learning more about the heroines, especially revealing parts that they'd rather you not know about them.
3. Do you think you'll have any issues with NISA, Gust, or Banpresto? You haven't mentioned yet whether this is going to be a free or commercial game. I also noticed that you are calling the heroines "Songstress" and not "Reyvateil" and wondered if that was a deliberate choice.
So sorry for the late reply =(. And for music I'm probably either going to hire someone or get some help for free. Depends on funds since I'm putting a lot into the art but I do want their to be Hymn's or something close to it.

2-There is no diving like in Ar Tonelico but there will be a similar function. The reason for this is that we're only doing maybe two to three outfits for each girl. However I'm currently thinking of a way to somehow code something like a cosmopshere in. It won't be exactly the same and you won't get song magic(since it's not an rpg but maybe I can think of something) but you will learn dark secrets about the girls. In fact I intend to have this system be the major way that you can become closer to them.

3- And this is a free game =). Also with some help I'm trying to make it inspired off of Art Tonelico and not a full fan game. And actually I'm not too sure if I'm calling them Songstress or Reyvateil. Probably Songtress because "Reyvateil" is Nis's anf Gusts's word.

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Re: Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(GxG)(Music)-New Art!

#10 Post by DarkSin »

I don't know how I didn't notice this before, it looks very interesting. Fascinating setting, and good art. I'll be keeping an eye on it :)

And,
Fenrir34 wrote:Actually, maybe having friendship as routes for all the girls will be a better idea
No please :( I mean, if you meant only friendship routes for them.
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Re: Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(GxG)(Music)-New Art!

#11 Post by Sami-Fire »

Oh, sweet! An Ar Tonelico-inspired game? Yes please! And you've got iekika-bp as the artist? Great choice. I had a feeling that style looked familiar. I noticed you said you wanted Hymns in the story; if you need help writing them, let me know. I write songs in Hymmnos a lot. The issue is that you might need someone else to take my lyrics and pretty them up because when I try to put my lyrics to music, they turn out awful. X_X Though for those sticky copyright reasons, you may want to use a language other than Hymmnos if you use Hymns.

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Re: Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(GxG)(Music)-New Art!

#12 Post by Fenrir34 »

DarkSin wrote:I don't know how I didn't notice this before, it looks very interesting. Fascinating setting, and good art. I'll be keeping an eye on it :)

And,
Fenrir34 wrote:Actually, maybe having friendship as routes for all the girls will be a better idea
No please :( I mean, if you meant only friendship routes for them.

I suppose that might not be the best decision XD. But I understand why some people might want a friendship route. Who that's with I don't no =(. Maybe Mar? But there is romance so don't worry =). Also, thank you so much for the support.

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Re: Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(GxG)(Music)-New Art!

#13 Post by Fenrir34 »

Sami-Fire wrote:Oh, sweet! An Ar Tonelico-inspired game? Yes please! And you've got iekika-bp as the artist? Great choice. I had a feeling that style looked familiar. I noticed you said you wanted Hymns in the story; if you need help writing them, let me know. I write songs in Hymmnos a lot. The issue is that you might need someone else to take my lyrics and pretty them up because when I try to put my lyrics to music, they turn out awful. X_X Though for those sticky copyright reasons, you may want to use a language other than Hymmnos if you use Hymns.
It's really cool you know here ^^. She's kind, fast, and has high creativity. She designed these outfits and looks herself with little helped from me XD. And that would be awesome 0_0! I know some of how to write Hymmos language but it's far from easy. As for getting that kind of music....that's going to be difficult.

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Re: Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(GxG)(Music)-Update 03/

#14 Post by Fenrir34 »

New Character Added!

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Ace-A fellow knight and rival of Sasha. Unlike our protagonist, Ace has trained for many years as a knight and is very skilled. However, this is hard for some to believe due to her short stature and rather immature attitude. Though talented with a sword, Ace's proud and short temper nature often makes it hard for her to be in a group. Unlike most knights she doesn't believe Songstresses should be used for battle and so refuses to have one as a partner. Though at times childish and sometimes nosy, Ace is the definition of justice and will protect those in need with a second thought. Sadly many don't take her seriously so she often finds it hard to get a mission. Also it's best not to make fun of her height since she'll have a bad tantrum.

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Re: Lynarsia-The Broken Song(Fantasy)(GxG)(Music)-Update 03/

#15 Post by Cube »

What do you think of the idea?
Another Ar Tonelico / Surge Concerto fan here! I'm really looking forward to this - I actually clicked it, because it's a GxG game.
The setting seems to be huge - don't let it get over your head :3

Do you like the characters?
Ace actually interests me, though. Noel sounds like the 'make love, not war'-type so far, but that's just the vibe I get from the description.

Is the art okay?
Hell yes! I mean, the sprites are lovely so far and the logo looks neat. Will there be epic backgrounds? Because I kinda expect epic fantasy/scifi-based backgrounds.

Any tips?
No so far.
I don't know any specifics of the 'main events' so far (where Hymnos might be added?), but I'm really looking forward to that part. This is hypothetical, but I always wanted to record a Hymnos-based song with a friend of mine (he's a composer and we've talked about it; he can compose, but not write the lyrics). Maybe there's a collaboration in the near future?

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