Frostedge wrote:Well, I’ve given it a go.
The concept is interesting; I always loved medical shows like House and games like Trauma Team, so I’m really thrilled about playing this.
First off, the title screen music is too loud; I’ve had to turn down my speaker’s volume from 6 (which is a comfortable volume for most people I know) to 3. You might want to mix it a bit better. Second, metal/hardrock doesn’t fit hospital themes. We’re not going to be fighting monsters, so adrenaline-inducing music isn’t necessary from the outset. The loop is also not very good, so getting a different sequence might be better, then again, players don’t tend linger on the title screens. The other music in the game is fine and well balanced, though.
Numerous capital letters and periods are missing, check to make sure your sentences have capital letters to start them and periods to end them. There are also too many grammatical errors to name, I’m assuming English isn’t your native language.
Around the tenth line, it suddenly cuts to a photo of someone’s workshop. Try putting a fade-in effect with it. Pictures popping in are a bad idea.
The first contact with a person with a sprite is inside a patient’s room. I’ve worked in a hospital as well as an intern at the laboratory, so I’ve seen a few rooms as well. If there’s one thing I can suggest, it’s that the background is more detailed than the character you’ve presented to the player. You can be cheapskate, and use Word artistic effects to blur the pictures; this’ll help keeping the focus on your character.
Second character is introduced, and her art style is VASTLY different from Bont/Bontt (Please don’t spell your own character’s names wrong) we saw a screen before. If you’re going to use sprites, make sure they at least look the same, because otherwise it’ll feel like you’ve been nabbing characters left and right.
You could put character’s thoughts between parentheses, like this. (These things help you discern thought from speech.)
When using medical terms, like blood pressure, why not have John Bontt recite in his mind once what that means exactly. You know what 120/80 would mean, but the average person doesn’t. The same goes for Cardiac Frequency and Respiratory Frequency. Those things make sense to you, but not necessarily to others.
Next up is the first examination question, what happened to Bolt?
The answer was literally named a few sentences earlier. If you’re going to have questions like these, you’ll want the players to have to think and deduce before reaching a conclusions.
The dramatic music when Bontt thinks about what happens to people who manage to successfully off themselves is ridiculous. Having silence would have a much bigger impact instead of that overly dramatic pompous music.
Bolt looks pretty young for calling himself an old guy. I also just got a request to save the game. Why not let us save whenever, or are you afraid people will start save-scumming?
In the visual exam, it suddenly cuts to an eyeball, which is startling to say the least. Also, if you’re going to have anime-fied characters, and then cut to hyper-realistic eyeballs; it kind of takes people out of the game.
Why does Bontt’s name suddenly turn white after the examination?
So, we just noticed that Mr. Bolt is indeed blind, and are then given the choice as to what to do with this information. We can: 1. Discharge the blind patient. 2. Request an X-ray. 3. Consult eye specialist. The average player will think that consulting an eye specialist is the correct course of action, seeing as Bontt isn’t an eye specialist himself. Also, Bontt confirmed this man is blind, how could he just release the man, being blind is a big handicap in society without some sort of help. It just strikes me as odd.
There is also no failure state, the game just quits when you run out of karma points.
It’s got a lot of potential, but it’s missing a few key parts. There is also a lot more you can add to make the game more interesting and involved. The main things you’ll want to focus on are:
1. Read up on English grammar and spelling, your English needs a lot of work, but if you can do something as difficult as getting a doctor’s degree, then this should be a piece of cake.
2. Consistent art style is a must, the random character mash-up looks really disjointed.
3. Your puzzles are either memory recalling (we can’t look back to previous text, so if the player doesn’t memorize everything said, there’s a chance they’ll miss it), or mental gymnastics (meaning that someone who has an eye problem somehow shouldn’t see an eye specialist before being discharged). If you want to use some interesting ideas for puzzles, check out Trauma Team Diagnostics on Youtube, there’s some interesting stuff you can use.
Best of luck.
Thank you for your comments!
In regard to the character mismatch... sorry about that... I'll fix that in the next version/
In regard to the "memory problem", I am fixing that using an inventory screen. Phoenix Wright and Regina Hope use such system where "evidence" is stored in a safe place. I really need that, but I am working on it.
"There is also no failure state, the game just quits when you run out of karma points." <-I have to check that... it needs to be fixed!
Saving the game is very difficult: because for some strange reason, if I use my own chapters, Renpy default saving system breaks down... I have no idea how to solve that, therefore I created some checkpoints. I really like renpy saving game system... but it doesn't work! The point of using my own chapter is that he player can revisit any chapter after he/she completes it!
What makes the option "Request
urgent consult to eye specialist" false is the magic word
"urgent". He really can wait, but I offer no hint about that (I have to fix that... I will explain that in the next version). Most of the diseases in the eye are NOT urgent, and pterigyon is one of them. Pterigyon will not be worse as time passes by. Some diseases in the eye that require
urgent include eye trauma, some retina diseases and acute glaucoma. He was an IRL patient, He was very happy to learn that a treatment was available for him. IRL, I consulted the eye specialist for an appointment for the patient before discharge.
I insist... thanks for your comments...
