Freak-Quency(Updated, full version)

[Xerofit51]

Freak-Quency

Freak-Quency, known to most people as a popular Virtual Reality video game. Then why is it that many of their players are being killed. It doesn't help with the fact that your brother is missing and he turns out to be an avid Freak-quency player. Where is he? Is he dead, alive, and why is all the freak-quency players dying!?

You play this game as Sonnya Grey, a young 16 year old whose attitude can be sweet or bitter depending on your choices. You can basically uncover the truth about freak-quency and get a guy while you're at it. There are quest and battles (I used based on PyTom's rpg frame, thank you!). You can skip the RPG battle though, not everyone likes RPG. I only made part 1 and introduce 2 of the bachelors though, more battles, map, dates,events, and quest in part 2 if reviews are good. (there are a total of 4 bachelors)
voice from Kokoro Hane and Vanille Velasquz voice pack
sprites by me
background from my friend sakon04 http://sakon04.deviantart.com/ mostly, others are from free public domain sites.

random preview video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1glkzU ... e=youtu.be

FULL VERSION FILE
NOT TESTED ON OTHER COMPUTERS
file:
http://www.mediafire.com/download/r6t4t ... al-all.zip



Try if u have the time, give me feedback if u liked or hate it thank you.

Sorry for typing errors or spelling errors, I haven't proof read this yet.

PS:
I'm not an native english speaker, so please forgive me of there are some typos and grammar issues

[Suika]

EDIT: Spoiler tag removed
I just finished playing it through the first time. Nice job!

The following contains honest feedback and spoilers o.o

I really like the interface, and the concept of using cell phones as the primary interface. The main menu was especially nice. As far as the story goes, I want to know more! The cliffhanger really got me, and now I'm excited to see part 2. However, there were a few (minor) issues I noticed:
- There were quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes, but the story still flowed reasonably well
- The backgrounds were all very well done, but they seemed inconsistent. For instance, the style of the train background seemed 180 degrees different from the style of the classroom, and both of those styles seemed different from the "clickable" backgrounds (the school halls, for instance). Overall, it worked with the different styles, but you may consider limiting the diversity of the background styles in part 2 (if it comes to fruition).
- Related to the above: Some of the backgrounds seemed to be of a much lower native-resolution and quality than others.

A few things that I really enjoyed/appreciated:
- There was plenty to "explore" - lots of backgrounds, plenty of characters, and a nice mix of slice-of-life elements and side-plots/stories
- We (the players) were able to "listen-in" on conversations in the school hall, and on the street
- Lots of choices ^.^
- The background music (some of it sounds familiar - whom did it all come from?)
- The interface (I think I mentioned this already...)


Overall I thought it was fun and engaging, although it could use some touching-up. I definitely want to see a part 2.
Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of time on my hands right now, but I'd be happy to help with some basic editing if you want it ^^.

[Xerofit51]

Thank you but, I cannot see your feedback or is it supposed to be like that :3?

[xKairi]

First, I'd like to thank you for using my work! I really am very thankful! ^^ Even though you miss-spelled my name in the credits T.T

I really enjoyed the game! The art looks AWESOME. Like seriously, you did everything yourself? WOW. The writing could be improved, and there are a few grammatical/punctuation errors and typos... but the story concept and plot is AMAZING!

It reminds me so much of Persona and unless this is just one ridiculously spot on coincidence, I'm gonna go ahead and bet my beloved manga collection that you're a fan of the games!

So should I be crying over my loss now or...?

Haha! Kidding aside, I really kept getting the impression that I was playing a Persona game... The shouting of "Freak-quency" to summon those monsters... the fact that they come to your rescue just when you're in that desperate situation... the dozing off in class... I could go on and on with this but I'm sure you already get the point! LOL!

The concept is just perfect, really!

Just a little suggestion though... I know it's not easy, but since you've put that much effort into your game, how about putting just a tiny bit more? How about turning the game fully-voiced to give it that perfect "Persona" feel? Y'know, how the important parts are voiced while the normal less-important everyday scenes aren't...? You can get an excellent team of voice actors through VAA, aaaaand... *raises her hand* haha, Kidding aside again, this would greatly improve your game's quality and I bet it would attract more attention! You don't have to pay the voice actors, if that's what you're worried about though. In fact, a lot of us VA's are pretty much willing to do work for the fun of it!

Looking forward to the whole game! This was really REALLY awesome! <3

One thing though... You need to be careful in getting your free sources... Some of them might not actually be free and could be protected with copyright. If you get some bad luck, you could get in trouble for using their work without proper permission! So that means you shouldn't just go to Google Images and type "visual novel backgrounds". And about some of the backgrounds you used in the game, did you get them from anime? 'Cause that's kinda not supposed to be done too haha...

By the way, the reason why you can't see Suika's review is because she put it under a Spoiler Tag. It's all white, right? Just highlight it! You're new around here, huh? Welcome aboard! And if you need any help unless it's got anything to do with art because I suck at that, please don't hesitate to shoot me a message!

See?

Spoiler Tags are meant to... y'know, keep players who haven't played the game but want to read reviews from getting spoiled haha. Wow. That was too obvious. I prolly didn't even have to say that lol

[tiya_nofurita]

Saw this through Facebook an deviantART, will give it a try and let you know my opinion once I played it. By the way the art looks AWESOME.

[Xerofit51]

EDIT: Spoiler tag removed
I just finished playing it through the first time. Nice job!

The following contains honest feedback and spoilers o.o

I really like the interface, and the concept of using cell phones as the primary interface. The main menu was especially nice. As far as the story goes, I want to know more! The cliffhanger really got me, and now I'm excited to see part 2. However, there were a few (minor) issues I noticed:
- There were quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes, but the story still flowed reasonably well
- The backgrounds were all very well done, but they seemed inconsistent. For instance, the style of the train background seemed 180 degrees different from the style of the classroom, and both of those styles seemed different from the "clickable" backgrounds (the school halls, for instance). Overall, it worked with the different styles, but you may consider limiting the diversity of the background styles in part 2 (if it comes to fruition).
- Related to the above: Some of the backgrounds seemed to be of a much lower native-resolution and quality than others.

A few things that I really enjoyed/appreciated:
- There was plenty to "explore" - lots of backgrounds, plenty of characters, and a nice mix of slice-of-life elements and side-plots/stories
- We (the players) were able to "listen-in" on conversations in the school hall, and on the street
- Lots of choices ^.^
- The background music (some of it sounds familiar - whom did it all come from?)
- The interface (I think I mentioned this already...)


Overall I thought it was fun and engaging, although it could use some touching-up. I definitely want to see a part 2.
Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of time on my hands right now, but I'd be happy to help with some basic editing if you want it ^^.

Sorry you had to edit your first reply because of me ;_; haha thanks for your review, will definitely limit the background styles in part2. I also appreciate the offered help, May I ask for help later in part 2? only if ur willing and not busy of course. the bg music, most I found from freesfx.co.uk
some I got from a karaoke version of songs from a friend of mine who can do that kind of stuff...which I forgot to credit..will ask what to credit him. -___-

[Karl_C]

I like that you allow the player to continue with the game without playing the rpg.

Especially, since the rest of the game is very interesting for people who don't like rpg's too...

[FjärilPrincess]

This looks intriguing ^_^.Loving the art ;D.So,it's a kind of a mystery with SLIGHT romance? C:.COOOLL! I usually just play romance Visual Novels.However,this can do,too! I like me myself summmm sweet mystery ;D.Okay,anyway,I'll get around to playing this later (Hopefully.If not later,then I'll do it tomorrow.'Cause I'm an amazing procrastinator like that) and give a review c;.I hope it's as good as I think it is! *o*.

[Michiyo6918]

I've tried your game out and I have to say I'm pretty impressive. I really like the professional feeling that the game gave me with how much visual aspect you have put into. I still have not finished the entire demo yet since I don't have that much free time on my hand for the day, I will definitely try out the entire game whenever I can though.

Some nick-picking thing- although don't let this discourage you, okay?
- The battle CG in the game you attached to your first post, if it's not because I'm a big fan of the game Dramatical Murder (A BL Japanese visual novel) I wouldn't recognize it--- Did you trace the art from one of the game CG?

Tracing is a really touchy subject, so I just want to let you know.

- Some of the background you used in the game (ex: The interior of the train; When Sonnya went to her brother's apartment) looks like screenshots from some anime. Aka these arts are not safe to use in your own game because of copyright issue.

Sorry for sounding like a nerd ;; v ;; but don't let my words get to you, despite all of that I really am looking forward to this visual novel!

[Xerofit51]

I've tried your game out and I have to say I'm pretty impressive. I really like the professional feeling that the game gave me with how much visual aspect you have put into. I still have not finished the entire demo yet since I don't have that much free time on my hand for the day, I will definitely try out the entire game whenever I can though.

Some nick-picking thing- although don't let this discourage you, okay?
- The battle CG in the game you attached to your first post, if it's not because I'm a big fan of the game Dramatical Murder (A BL Japanese visual novel) I wouldn't recognize it--- Did you trace the art from one of the game CG?

battle.jpg

dmmd-cg_014.jpg

Tracing is a really touchy subject, so I just want to let you know.

- Some of the background you used in the game (ex: The interior of the train; When Sonnya went to her brother's apartment) looks like screenshots from some anime. Aka these arts are not safe to use in your own game because of copyright issue.

Sorry for sounding like a nerd ;; v ;; but don't let my words get to you, despite all of that I really am looking forward to this visual novel!

I didn't trace it but I did use it an example, I looked at it while i draw, yeah I guess that's the same thing though -__- will not do it in future projects, thank you for pointing that out. And yes will not use anymore anime bg (I didn't thought about copyright issue) so thanks for pointing that out.

[Hyraculon]

My thoughts:

- You seem to have a very good handle on coding and design.
- The game has a nice visual style to it, too, and I think once you have some original backgrounds in place, it'll be very attractive.
- Is the character Crystal Ballock's name supposed to be an intentional joke? If not, you may want to change that last name...
- This is very likely an issue with the old computer I played it on rather than the game itself, but when I got to the segment where you can listen to people in the halls, the graphics would glitch if I tabbed in and out of the window.
- This is my biggest pet peeve ever in English-based VNs, so excuse a bit of a rant, but does this story really have to be set in Japan? I personally find it very distracting when games are clearly meant to be set in Japan, but all of the characters have Western names and generally act like Westerners. Even just little things - like saying the character has 5 more years until she can drink (the drinking age in Japan is 20, not 21), or having NPCs talk about the prom (something Japanese schools do not do) - drive me crazy. Whenever I play one of these games, all I can think is, "This person has never actually been to Japan, and the only research they did was watching anime." It's harsh, but to me it is a major turn-off from what is otherwise an interesting game.

[Xerofit51]

My thoughts:

- Is the character Crystal Ballock's name supposed to be an intentional joke? If not, you may want to change that last name...
- This is my biggest pet peeve ever in English-based VNs, so excuse a bit of a rant, but does this story really have to be set in Japan? I personally find it very distracting when games are clearly meant to be set in Japan, but all of the characters have Western names and generally act like Westerners. Even just little things - like saying the character has 5 more years until she can drink (the drinking age in Japan is 20, not 21), or having NPCs talk about the prom (something Japanese schools do not do) - drive me crazy. Whenever I play one of these games, all I can think is, "This person has never actually been to Japan, and the only research they did was watching anime." It's harsh, but to me it is a major turn-off from what is otherwise an interesting game.

Thank you for trying my demo, and I'm sorry for stimulating your pet peeve. To be honest I'm still not sure where the setting should be at, America or Japan or anywhere really. I wanted a fictional city/country where they both merged. So both have eastern and western culture thus why some characters have Japanese names and some foreign.

Oh and thank you for the drinking information, I thought it was 21 so it's 20 huh? And as for the prom thing...I honestly didn't remember that, I just typed whatever so she had something to say. As for the Crystal Ballock thing...I'm not sure I follow, why is it a joke? Is it someone else's name?

Will look around those issues thank you, hope you will still try my released version of part 1 and continue to the second part. I understand if you won't though.

[Hyraculon]

To be honest I'm still not sure where the setting should be at, America or Japan or anywhere really. I wanted a fictional city/country where they both merged. So both have eastern and western culture thus why some characters have Japanese names and some foreign.

I think you could do it as some generic fictional city, and that would be awesome, but with the backgrounds you have and the -chans and the Japanese voice pack, it's definitely evocative of Japan.

As for the Crystal Ballock thing...I'm not sure I follow, why is it a joke? Is it someone else's name?

It really sounds like "bollocks," which means testicles. So the name as it is now almost seems like some kind of dirty pun on "crystal ball."

Will look around those issues thank you, hope you will still try my released version of part 1 and continue to the second part. I understand if you won't though.

I would like to, yes! Even if I seem negative, I think it's an attractive and interesting game, and I'd like to see where the story is going.

[Hazel-Bun]

I shall try this out soon

[try10]

I played the demo yesterday and I was very impressed.

The art is gorgeous. I just loved it! There are a few grammar mistakes here and there, but if you get a proofreader, I'm sure everything will be fine. The plot, is too awesome. Virtual games, murders, monsters that come out of your phones, romance. What more do I need?
The missions and the chance to explore were very original ( and the fact that you can choose to do them or not ). Something that bothered me was the white writing ( the one on the black screen). It's kind of hard to read. I'm not very good with giving feedback, but I have to say that this game MUST BE CONTINUED. It's way to interesting to be abandoned. Everything looks professional and I'm pretty sure it was very hard to do this by yourself, so I hope that you'll find a great team willing to help you. I can't do anything since I have no ideea about coding and stuff and english is not my main language so I can't proofread either, but I'll be willing to beta test.

Please don't give up cause I would like to see this game finished. Good luck!