Bun's Oven [Critique Welcomed] [11/4/15]

Questions, skill improvement, and respectful critique involving game writing.
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Hazel-Bun
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Completed: Sunrise: A Dieselpunk Fantasy & Ultramarine: A Seapunk Adventure
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Re: Bun's Oven [Critique Welcomed] [2/2/15]

#31 Post by Hazel-Bun »

@Josie Thank you so much (;)0(;)/ I have a couple of VNs/KNs out now haha I'm starting from my first one and should have more stuff out soon. Thanks for the support, and I agree I think my writing is getting better slowly.

@Starshine Thanks <3 your words always bring a smile to my face. I hope I can keep improving and hopefully publish more books, games, etc. in the near future!

As I'm edging closer to rounding out my flash fiction novel, anthology, what have you ("Imago Dei" around 30,000 words give or take), I decided to get back into writing short form fiction. I started a little flash fiction streak if anyone's interested!

Here's a 6-word for today.
Retrospect

Sammy didn't get bruised by mistake.
Black bookstore owner. Diverse fiction reviewer. Bestselling romance author. Award-winning fiction editor. Quite possibly a werewolf, ask me during the next full moon.

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Hazel-Bun
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Posts: 1010
Joined: Sun Oct 28, 2012 6:03 pm
Completed: Sunrise: A Dieselpunk Fantasy & Ultramarine: A Seapunk Adventure
Projects: Thrall: A Dark Otome Visual Novel
Organization: AURELIA LEO, LLC
Tumblr: authorzknight
itch: authorzknight
Contact:

Re: Bun's Oven [Critique Welcomed] [2/2/15]

#32 Post by Hazel-Bun »

Hey o~ haven't been writing much lately as life has been super busy. I'm planning on publishing my flash fiction and short story anthology soon so look forward to spam that soon lol

Today I wanted to post an idea for my second novel (well first cause my anthology isn't really a novel). It's called obsidian. It's the story of fraternal twins Atlas and Addae White in an alternative America, where the Civil War resulted in true emancipation, and the following Reconstruction period carrying out Thaddeus Stevens "20 acres and a mule". Atlas and Addae's ancestors where kidnapped and enslaved from the Gold Coast, able to pass down an amulet that is said to connect them to their pass. When the twins were born, it was broken in half so that each one could carry a piece of the other. All is well until a freak accident gives them the ability to swap minds and bodies with each other and the people they come into contact with... at a price. There's a lot going on in the story as well but I must to more research and outlining!
"It's better to have spoken and been misunderstood, than to let my silence speak for itself and be used as a weapon of war..."
Addae murmured the unfamiliar phrase over and over again underneath her breath. Her thin, piano player-esque fingers twirled the bit of black volcanic rock around. Obsidian, the seller has told her. She'd traded a good amount for it, drawn by its almost mystic arua.
"What's that?"
"Hey! Give that back!!"
Addae glared at her brother as he snatched it right out of her hand. He smirked and tipped his hat, sucking in the warm summer breeze. His sister had a habit of coming out to this particular hill with the strange objects she brought off of passbyers.
It was darker than the black bits of earth they dug up from the ground. King coal was dirty and grimy yet this thing was... almost as delicate as a jewel. Atlas looked to the sun and held up a piece of her black volcano, frozen, cooled, and made into a stone.
"Where'd'jya find this thing?" Her brother barked at her, angry that he couldn't decipher her cryptic words or the object in front of him. He thought it was just a piece of black stone but, by her expression, it must have been something quite important.
"Underneath the stove last night. Daddy kicked it under there." The lie spilled out before she could stop herself...
Black bookstore owner. Diverse fiction reviewer. Bestselling romance author. Award-winning fiction editor. Quite possibly a werewolf, ask me during the next full moon.

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Hazel-Bun
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Posts: 1010
Joined: Sun Oct 28, 2012 6:03 pm
Completed: Sunrise: A Dieselpunk Fantasy & Ultramarine: A Seapunk Adventure
Projects: Thrall: A Dark Otome Visual Novel
Organization: AURELIA LEO, LLC
Tumblr: authorzknight
itch: authorzknight
Contact:

Re: Bun's Oven [Critique Welcomed] [8/8/15]

#33 Post by Hazel-Bun »

Please support my upcoming anthology here! Pre-order for $9.99 and you get a signed paperback :)

Also, another drabble while I'm at it.
Affection
"You're just getting worse..."

It wasn't Shakelia's fault he couldn't see the invisible. Derek refused what couldn't be proven empirically. It was no wonder when she said simply getting up in the morning was hell, he payed no attention, gave no affection.

See no evil, speak no evil. Derek thought she was a liar; Shakelia knew the truth.

See was dying from an invisible disease, suffering a series of infections and heart palpitations each day. It started in her dreams, than manifested itself in her body.

No sleep.

No dreams.

No future.

No past.

Just an achy, makeup less shell...
Black bookstore owner. Diverse fiction reviewer. Bestselling romance author. Award-winning fiction editor. Quite possibly a werewolf, ask me during the next full moon.

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