A Story from my dream, please leave your comments :D

[Meiting_98]

Hi! Recently I've dreamed about something. I was thinking of making it into a VN. I need your critiques. Is it good enough to make it into a short VN? This is the summary of the story.

I was going to a city, away from my home. I saw a man was arguing with my friend. He was full of rage but when he saw me, he was stunned and stopped what he was about to do. I was planning to go to another city and I found a motorcycle-public-transport. Later I found out that the driver was the man from earlier.
On the way, I realized that he had a bad intention towards me (he was some kind of pervert). I tried to run away and ended up in a convenience store. The weird man was already there, ready to catch me. Just when I felt hopeless and about to commit suicide, my boyfriend came to rescue me.

[SadisticWonderland]

It's kinda cliché and predictable. Perhaps you could spice it up with some of your imaginations? Or turn it to something more psychotic and dramatic? But if you intend to make short Kinetic Novel; this might be okay...

[Meiting_98]

Okay I'll try to modify it. Thanks

[Meiting_98]

What about this one?

There was an arranged marriage for me. I was going to meet my fiance with my Grandma. Just when I arrived there, a group of people surrounded us. We back off and my grandma told me to run away. I have no choice but to do what she said. The next day, I received a phone call from someone. He said that my grandma was in his hands. He threatened me to do something (I forgot what so I'll make it up later :p). But I thought he can't threatened me, since he didn't know where I was, and where I live. But he said, "Oh really? Have you ever think that I would know where you live if I dare to threaten you?". But I still thought, my house was in the area for rich people, how can he find out?. He said again, "Oh and do you know? My subordinates live there as well, just a few blocks from your house.". "Yo..You're lying!". "Heh! I don't care even if you don't believe me. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that your grandma is in our hands. You can pretend not to care, but we're going to invade your school as well!".
~To be continued

How is the story that far?

[SadisticWonderland]

I think it's better than the first one. More plot there. XD What are you planning to do next?

[Meiting_98]

Well I'm going to make the story longer so it'll be a quite long VN xD. Then I'll make the VN. But the art is hard to make
(I'm gonna sleep more and make more adventurous dreams and then turn them into VN stories xD)

[SadisticWonderland]

Good luck with that. ^^ PM me if you need some suggestions or opinions. Btw, about the art; if it's not too many, I might be able to do some sprites for you. Or you can just gather some from the Creative Common forum.

[Meiting_98]

Great! I'll PM you if I need suggestion for my projects Thanks

[SadisticWonderland]

^^ You're welcome and I'm glad to help~!