Challenges and Critiques!!

[Head_Phones]

School is starting soon, so to adapt, I'd like something to write when I'm bored. [challenge idea inspired by fsc ahaha)

Give me something, anything: an idea, a scenario, an ending, a theme, a character.

I just want to give myself a challenge, and gain some critiques when I'm finished ^^

Thanks!

[SimonLayton]

Hi! Here's a prompt: two unnamed characters trying to escape the end of the world. Sorry, if it's an ambitious idea. ^_^"
(I just finished writing a story very similar to this, but I like to see what you could come up. )

[Haze]

How about something based off this little segment I just came up with:

She had been waiting for this moment for years, and at last, everything was right. The pieces were in front of her, ready to be played. Glancing at her opponent, her words only a whisper, she said one thing:
"I hope you are ready."

Yeah, I know random. You can do something with it, if you want, but you don't have to include the segment in the story if you don't want to. A story simply based of it is fine. I'd be interested to see what you come up with if you do use it!

[BonBocchan]

Here's something of a prompt:

MC is out deep sea fishing, when he/she has the an extremely arduous battle with whatever's on the other end of the line. When he/she manages to drag it on board, it isn't at all what anyone expected.

Monsters, mermaids, do what you like, if you want to use it.

[silverpikachu99]

try to write a girl mercilessly killing a kitten. (don't hate me I know it sounds sad.. I love kitties *^*)

[Head_Phones]

try to write a girl mercilessly killing a kitten. (don't hate me I know it sounds sad.. I love kitties *^*)

I'm sure you do :3

Well I wrote something short for that. Hope it was what you're hoping for, soulmate <3

I'm sorry I didn't make it nearly as gory enough though, I haven't seen too many kitten murders around here.

Another thing is that I'm really slow at completing the prompts (though I don't actually write anything long!) so sorry for the delay. I have school. Whoops.

Also, I didn't forget about the rest of the prompts, this idea just came a tad more easily to me, haha

Lucid

“Hey sis!”

A voice calls from behind me.

I place my pen down, swiveling around in my chair as I turn to face her.

Jacqueline’s head pokes through the door. Her eyes are wide, shocked, her eyebrows furrowed in a picture of disbelief.

“What’s wrong?”

She opens her mouth to speak, but the words get stuck in her throat. Quickly closing it, her eyebrows furrow even more, her features starting to contort.

I lean forward. “What’s wrong, Jac?”

Her head suddenly snaps up to stare at me.

“Did you go into my room just now?”

I cock my head, scrunching up my face. “Why would I do that? I’m rushing through a report I have to hand in tomorrow.”

I roll my eyes and sigh, swiveling around so that I’m facing my desk again. I pick up my pen, continuing to write from where I left off just now.

“If that’s all you want, then get out and close the door, Jac.”

Both of us don’t say anything, only the scratching of pen against paper audible in the room.

The door slams shut.
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12:43 a.m.

I stretch my limbs, giving a sigh of satisfaction as I look at the finished report.

I slump against my chair, feeling a sudden wave of fatigue wash through me. Ginger, our kitten, gently climbs onto my lap. I scratch her head, smiling when she purrs. Ginger was a stray we picked up on the streets a couple of months ago, seemingly not long out of the womb. We actually just watched her for a couple of days, and when her mother never came back, we quickly adopted her into our family. She’s been with us ever since.

I run my fingers through Ginger’s fur.

So soft.

All of the money we spent on grooming her was worth it, it seems.

So soft.

She purrs under my touch.

So soft.

My vision starts to blur.

So soft.

I can’t keep my eyes open any longer.

So soft.

My head falls onto the desk.

So soft.


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“Help.”

I open my eyes.

The room is dark, other than the dim stream of light creeping through the curtains.

“Help.”

Jacqueline?

“Jac? You here?”

“Save me, sis.”

“Huh? What’re you talking about?”

I squint through the darkness, taking a few steps forward.

Jacqueline stares at me from her bed. Her eyes are stretched wide, her bloody veins popping in her whites.

She’s scared.

My eyes soften, and I take another step forward.

And another.

And another.

Until I reach the end of her bed.

She watches me carefully.

“I can’t move. I’m scared, sis.”

I freeze.

Why aren’t her lips moving?

“Don’t worry Jac, I–”

Why aren’t my lips moving?

Our voices reverberate inside my head, pounding against my skull, as I come to that realisation.

What’s going on?

Is this some sort of dream?

“I don’t know what’s going on either, Jac!”

“I’m scared!”

“I know, but–”

Her scream echoes inside of my head, piercing through my ears.

I have a hand reached out toward her.

When did I do that?

There’s a knife in my hand.

Where did I get that?

In my other hand, I’m grasping the neck of Ginger.

When did she get here?

I don’t understand.

Something fizzles inside of my head.

It hurts.

I drop everything I’m holding.

The fizzle grows, slowly dissolving everything it touches.

I groan, falling to the floor.

It burns.

A bloody scream rips from my throat, vibrating inside my head as I thrash around, my legs frantically kicking back.

My spine rams into the wall.

I hear a crack.

I clench my hands around my head, jerking it around wildly.

It hurts.

It hurts and I want it to stop.

Jac’s scream rings through my head again.

The burn clears.

I sigh, my hands falling to the floor.

Jac.

My head snaps up.

I’m holding the knife and Ginger again, standing at the foot of Jac’s bed.

But that’s impossible, when I’m right here, on the floor, with my back against the wall.

That’s impossible.

But that figure is me.

I try to stand up.

But immediately get pushed down.

I try to resist.

But immediately meet with a sharp slap.

I try to cry, try to scream for help, as I watch the figure that resembles me so much slowly slide the knife into Ginger.

I watch as the figure gently twists the knife, staining its orange fur crimson. I watch as Ginger cries; watch as those cries slowly morph into mewls.

I watch helplessly, as the figure reaches a hand inside what remains of Ginger, the squelches of his hand and the whimpers of Jacqueline mixing around in my head.

The figure holds Ginger to her lips, her tongue glistening against the light. She leisurely brings her tongue across the wound, moaning as she closes her eyes.

How could I scare Jac?

How could I kill Ginger?

How could I be there when I’m here?

How could I?

I don’t understand.

I black out.

The last thing I see is myself, staring back at me as I smile, my red-stained teeth glimmering.
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I furiously type across my computer.

My phone rings.

I pick it up.

“Hello?”

“Oh hey, it’s Angie.”

“Angie, for fuck’s sake, where have you been?! The rest of us are working really hard on the project – which we have to hand in tomorrow, by the way. You didn’t show up yesterday either, when we were doing the report! You just went all AWOL on our asses!”

“Calm down! I’m really sorry! It’s just that I–”

“I don’t give a single fuck about your excuses! You better be online now or I’ll–”

“UGH! Fine! Fucking chill out, will you?! At least tell me where you guys are right now so I can keep up.”

I roll my eyes. “Okay, so the thing is that–”

“Sis?”

I swivel around in my seat.

Jacqueline is peeking through the door. She has her head down as she peers up at me, bottom lip slightly jutted out.

“Give me a sec Angie.”

“Whatever.”

I mute her as I beckon for Jacqueline to come inside.

“What’s wrong?”

She plays with the hem of her shirt.

I lean forward. “What’s wrong, Jac?”

She looks up. “Did you go into my room last night?”

I cock my head.

“Didn’t we have a conversation like this yesterday?”

She nods.

“Then?” I cross my arms.

“I… I’ve just been having some bad dreams.”

I smile and gently pat her head. “Hey, it’s okay. We all do. Just remember that they’re only dreams okay?”

She nods slowly.

I sigh.

Looking at the muted phone in my hands, I groan and immediately end the call.

Fuck Angie.

"By the way, Jac," I say, swivelling back to continue typing.

“Have you seen Ginger?”

[silverpikachu99]

try to write a girl mercilessly killing a kitten. (don't hate me I know it sounds sad.. I love kitties *^*)

I'm sure you do :3

Well I wrote something short for that. Hope it was what you're hoping for, soulmate <3

I'm sorry I didn't make it nearly as gory enough though, I haven't seen too many kitten murders around here.

Another thing is that I'm really slow at completing the prompts (though I don't actually write anything long!) so sorry for the delay. I have school. Whoops.

Also, I didn't forget about the rest of the prompts, this idea just came a tad more easily to me, haha

Lucid (Critiques very welcome!!)

*hehe you called me soulmate~! I'm so proud to be your husband? wife? wut .-. lol* OOOOOOOHHHMYYYGOSHHHHHH *THE FEELLSSS RUSHHH INNN LIKE A TSUNAMI AND KILL ME* Holy shizpicket!! This was so good. I can't even put into words how well written this is *FAINTS AND DIES* The way you described how Jac kept seeing her in the room... Wooooo that gave me goosebumps! Even at the end when the Mc asks Jac where Ginger is :0 (R.I.P GINGER <3) I could just feel the evil radiating through the computer screen!!! The only thing I had issues with was how there was giant spaces between certain scenes. Don't get me wrong- I know why you did it but I'm just a lazy asss scroller *fingers starts to fall off- too much computer time >.<* Anyways good job Can't wait for more of your work~ (sorry this probably didn't help at all but you know you're ma soulmate~!)