Present or past tense (Description vs thoughts in narration)

[Iwako]

Hi everyone! I have a quick (and possibly stupid and confusing) question about the use of tenses in the narration of a vn. I'm sorry if this has been asked many times before but the other posts I've seen seems a -little- different and I got even more confused about what to do for my situation xD

Basically, for my vn, I use the narrator to describe the actions of the characters/surroundings and all that. I usually use past tense in my fictional writing, so I used past tense for this as well.

However, since my story is in first person form, I also want to put in the protagonist's thoughts or little comments as they narrate. Since they're not really spoken dialogue, I can't really use them as the main char's dialogue, so I put it under the narrator's. I would use present tense for these inner thoughts/descriptions, but it seems weird for there to be a mix of present/past tense in the "narration". [Also, I read on a few posts that people look for consistency in tenses...so yeah.]

So my question is, should I stick with a mix of present/past tense in narration to distinguish between description of actions/surroundings and the main char's inner thoughts, or should I change everything into one tense (present/past) and use something else like...italics to separate thoughts from descriptions?

Thanks!

[Ran08]

I think this is just a personal thing. Haha. But personally, I use the present tense, even though I struggle with certain scenes or events because it just doesn't sound right. But using the present tense puts your reader into the action. Like, if something happens, it's happening NOW, as in RIGHT NOW, and the reader is aware of that, so there's more action and suspense, rather than if everything happened in the past.

For example, in romance stories, the sentence, "I kissed him." has a different impact than the present tense version, which is, "I kiss him." When you say kissed... it already happened. The reader will feel happy knowing that... the kiss happened. Hahaha. But when you say, kiss... it's happening right now, and the reader should feel the emotion flowing from the imaginative kiss.

Anyway, that's my personal take on it. Hahaha. <3

[SundownKid]

Usually people use present tense in VN's as they are a type of adventure game and usually are seen from the player character's perspective. ("I decide to open the door, hoping no one is inside.") The main character's thoughts also function to describe the scene. In addition the character makes choices that have not "happened" yet.

Of course you could also use first person past tense ("I decided to open the door, hoping no one was inside.") if you are making a story as if it was narrated from the future. But third person omnipotent tends to sound a bit stranger in VN's than prose.

[Iwako]

Thanks for the replies so far!

Of course you could also use first person past tense ("I decided to open the door, hoping no one was inside.") if you are making a story as if it was narrated from the future

Right now I'm actually using first person past tense exactly as you mentioned above. I'm considering switching to present tense since as you both mentioned, it seems to be the more appropriate and common method for narrating VNs. However, because in my VN, every chapter starts with an "excerpt" thing that's in present tense, a section of monologue from the future that is related to the events in the chapter (if that makes sense...I'm not sure how to describe it, the only thing closest to it I can think of is Clannad anime. Every episode starts with a bit from the strange world from After Story) So, if possible I want to stick to using first person past tense for the main story as a contrast. My main problem with that is something like this:

He walked up to me. He sure is dressed weirdly...who is he? Do I know him?

As you can see it's a mixture of tenses, but the first phrase is description of action and the second is thought process. It looks awkward to me but I'm not sure how to fix it. Does it look weird to you too? I suppose the best method is to change everything to present tense, but if not, is there any way to do it? D: (If any part of what I just said made any sense at all. xD)

Once again, thank you so much for the help! >< I'm really sorry for my endless rambles and confusing ideas xD

[SundownKid]

He walked up to me. He sure is dressed weirdly...who is he? Do I know him?

As you can see it's a mixture of tenses, but the first phrase is description of action and the second is thought process. It looks awkward to me but I'm not sure how to fix it. Does it look weird to you too? I suppose the best method is to change everything to present tense, but if not, is there any way to do it? D: (If any part of what I just said made any sense at all. xD)

Best thing to do is stick to a single tense for the whole story. The above sentence seems to be grammatically incorrect.

A way to say that sentence in the first person present tense is:

The weirdly dressed man walks up to me. I find myself wracking my brain, but I can't recall who he is - if I even know him.

Or the first person past tense:

The weirdly dressed man walked up to me. I found myself wracking my brain, but I couldn't recall who he was - if I even knew him.

[trooper6]

So, if possible I want to stick to using first person past tense for the main story as a contrast. My main problem with that is something like this:

He walked up to me. He sure is dressed weirdly...who is he? Do I know him?

As you can see it's a mixture of tenses, but the first phrase is description of action and the second is thought process. It looks awkward to me but I'm not sure how to fix it. Does it look weird to you too? I suppose the best method is to change everything to present tense, but if not, is there any way to do it? D: (If any part of what I just said made any sense at all. xD)

Once again, thank you so much for the help! >< I'm really sorry for my endless rambles and confusing ideas xD

It looks weird, yes. You solve it by remembering what is actually happening. What is happening is that your MC is telling the story of what happened, but also of what s/he was thinking. The thoughts, like the actions, are not present tense but narrated after the fact.

There are a couple of ways to do it: more or less explicitly narrated.

More explicit: He walked up to me. I temember thinking he sure was dressed weirdly. Who was he? I wondered if knew him.

Less explicit: He walked up to me. He was dressed weirdly. Who was he? Did I know him?

[Iwako]

More explicit: He walked up to me. I temember thinking he sure was dressed weirdly. Who was he? I wondered if knew him.

Or the first person past tense:

The weirdly dressed man walked up to me. I found myself wracking my brain, but I couldn't recall who he was - if I even knew him.

Ah, alright, thank you so much! I'll try this way of writing it then. (I have trouble with switching up tenses mid-story a lot just because it seems to flow better in my head...so I really really appreciate this help.)

Related question: I was actually just playing a VN that uses ( ) and italics to represent thoughts. While I'm usually not a fan of writing in that style, I'm curious. Any thoughts on that? Does it seem more like an interruption in the flow of the story/narration?

[SundownKid]

Ah, alright, thank you so much! I'll try this way of writing it then. (I have trouble with switching up tenses mid-story a lot just because it seems to flow better in my head...so I really really appreciate this help.)

Related question: I was actually just playing a VN that uses ( ) and italics to represent thoughts. While I'm usually not a fan of writing in that style, I'm curious. Any thoughts on that? Does it seem more like an interruption in the flow of the story/narration?

Switching tenses is usually incorrect in terms of grammar. The vast majority of stories are written in one tense.

I personally put thoughts on a separate line as dialogue. Any thoughts/narration are put in italics. But I guess you could keep them normal and just not give that box a name tag.

[trooper6]

Switching tenses is usually incorrect in terms of grammar. The vast majority of stories are written in one tense.

SundownKid is correct...though I want to make sure you know the difference between direct and indirect speech, Iwako. Because you'll often get more than one tense in direct speech and that is still grammatically correct.

Direct Speech.
"I am hungry," he said.
This guy is weird, I thought.

Indirect speech.
He said he was hungry.
I though the guy was weird.

I personally put thoughts on a separate line as dialogue. Any thoughts/narration are put in italics. But I guess you could keep them normal and just not give that box a name tag.

I think putting thoughts in italics is fine, and if you do so, that makes them a form of direct speech, and you can use present tense...as long as it is clear to your reader that you are using direct speech.

[flaminghippo]

Related question: I was actually just playing a VN that uses ( ) and italics to represent thoughts. While I'm usually not a fan of writing in that style, I'm curious. Any thoughts on that? Does it seem more like an interruption in the flow of the story/narration?

That's what I've been doing. I'm writing the story in first person past tense—actions, descriptions, and backstory—but thoughts in the present tense, presented in parentheses. Not sure how much others like this format, but it works best for me.