Polite Speech

[konett]

I'm specifically talking about forms of address. English seems to only have "you". Is there a way to make something seem more polite, without sounding really formal? In Dutch it's possible to make a child sound polite, while still making them sound like a child by changing the type of address word they use. I am looking for method to recreate that in English.

Example:
"Can you do a magic trick, mister?" vs "Can You do a magic trick, mister?"
(in Dutch is "je/jij" vs "u", which changes the structure of the sentence)

These sound very different in Dutch, and I haven't been able to create a similar effect in English. Adding the "mister" is my attempt at it, but it's success is debatable.

Changing it to something with the right amount of politeness often changes up the character's voice.
"Are you able to do a magic trick, mister?" or "Are you able to do a magic trick, sir?"

I'm currently writing a story where characters talk differently to others depending on their rank/seniority. Are there more indicators that I can use for a more subtle shift? Or do you think that shifting the politeness outside of the dialogue and using body language would do the job better? Since it's not a society where someone either is below you or above you, it's a bit difficult to write like it is.

I'm sorry if this is a bit all over the place. I'm a bit ill, so I doubt that I'm being as eloquent as I would like to think I am.

[sempersapiens]

That's an interesting question! French has a similar concept - using "vous" instead of "tu" when you're being respectful - but English doesn't. I don't think English-speakers would often refer to someone as "mister", at least not where I'm from. Maybe "sir" in a very formal setting. But a better option might be to have them say something like, "Would you mind doing a magic trick?" That way they're acknowledging that they know the person might not want to, and giving them an easy to way to say no if that's the case.

[Holland]

I second what sempersapiens said with changing the sentence structure around. Politeness is usually not about the words themselves in (American?) English as much as it is about how it's said. Something like, "Would you please do a magic trick?" is a lot more polite. I'd also like to note that using "Mister" usually has a younger connotation when it's said alone. Calling someone, "Mr. Evans" is polite, but just calling them, "Mister" is very childish and often taken as impolite when used by an adult.

[SundownKid]

"Can you do a magic trick, mister?" Is not something polite, it's more like something a child would say. "Are you able to do a magic trick, sir?" is also slightly off, it would be "Would you be able to do a magic trick?"

A more polite version of "Can you do a magic trick?" would be something like "Would it be possible for you to do a magic trick?" or "Perhaps you could do a magic trick?" Basically something with less direct wording and more of a suggestion.

[konett]

Thank you for replying.

I though I added this to the original post, but the example was supposed to be a line said by a child. I'm sorry I missed that.

The issue I have is that some of the examples you have given me are too big of a step towards formal than the effect I would like to get from the sentence.

That's an interesting question! French has a similar concept - using "vous" instead of "tu" when you're being respectful - but English doesn't.

When I first needed to translate things from Dutch to English as a child, it was something that confused be immensely. I remember starting a discussion with my teacher about a question on a test she marked as incorrect, even though it was correct. Apparently it was because I didn't use the words assigned to that unit of the book in my translation. I didn't use those words, because it wouldn't convey the formality of the Dutch sentence. I eventually got it changed, but it's something that I've always wondered about since.

I don't think English-speakers would often refer to someone as "mister", at least not where I'm from. Maybe "sir" in a very formal setting.

Yes, this is something I realised. It was added to the sentence as a child's attempt to sound polite. I've noticed this is a more common thing for English speaking children to use instead of shifting to formal language structure.

But a better option might be to have them say something like, "Would you mind doing a magic trick?" That way they're acknowledging that they know the person might not want to, and giving them an easy to way to say no if that's the case.

That is an example that I would apply in variations in adult conversations. But I find it hard to find an appropriate middle ground when doing only slight shifts. This is also why I asked about shifting it to body language outside of dialogue, because it's the most efficient way to tone a piece of dialogue down or up, depending on the way I want it perceived.

I second what sempersapiens said with changing the sentence structure around. Politeness is usually not about the words themselves in (American?) English as much as it is about how it's said. Something like, "Would you please do a magic trick?" is a lot more polite. /quote]

Ah, this made me realise that adding please to that sentence makes it more polite, but it's not an extreme step. I wonder how this would apply in non-questions, does if have the same effect? I've tried thinking up some sentences in my head and it seems to work, but is there a reason to not (scarcely) use it?

I'd also like to note that using "Mister" usually has a younger connotation when it's said alone. Calling someone, "Mr. Evans" is polite, but just calling them, "Mister" is very childish and often taken as impolite when used by an adult.

Ah, yes this was my mistake. I meant to clarify the age of the character speaking is a child and not an adult.

"A more polite version of "Can you do a magic trick?" would be something like "Would it be possible for you to do a magic trick?" or "Perhaps you could do a magic trick?" Basically something with less direct wording and more of a suggestion.

Thank you. Thinking in terns of suggestion certainly make it easier to think up variations of the same piece of dialogue, so this helps a lot.

[Holland]

I second what sempersapiens said with changing the sentence structure around. Politeness is usually not about the words themselves in (American?) English as much as it is about how it's said. Something like, "Would you please do a magic trick?" is a lot more polite.

Ah, this made me realize that adding please to that sentence makes it more polite, but it's not an extreme step. I wonder how this would apply in non-questions, does if have the same effect? I've tried thinking up some sentences in my head and it seems to work, but is there a reason to not (scarcely) use it?

Do you mean when to (or to not) use please outside of questions? It's pretty common; there's no reason not to use it unless, say, it's two very close friends talking and joking around with one another.

Even if there aren't many ways to sound more respectful through how you address a person in English, you can change the structure up for it.
Here's a (technically) non-question example of rude through respectful:

"Go check the back." - This is really rude unless the speaker is in a much higher position or very close with the person. Let's try adding please.
"Please go check the back." - This is still a command and, though less rude, isn't very formal. It's more of something between said friends or co-workers.
"Can you go check the back?" - Turning it into a request is more respectful, but it's still casual for someone in a high position without the please.
"Can you please go check the back?" Making it a question, with please, is usually as respectful as you need to be in the average conversation.

"Could you please check the back?" - This is about as respectful as you can get as far as sentence structure goes because it avoids rush words.

Rush words are words or phrases that make the person you're talking to feel obliged to respond quickly. You can see that "can" was turned to "could" and "go" was left out. "Can" is a present tense word while "could" can either be past or future tense. Because of that, "can" feels more rushed, like you're asking them to respond *right now*. "Go" is pretty obvious; it's a verb and a common word used to describe starting/moving and has the same feel. Dropping / replacing those words makes the whole sentence a great deal more appropriate when speaking with a superior. [ You might sound a little rude talking like that in a casual conversation with your peers, though. ]

[Cith]

Centuries ago there was such a distinction. 'You' (possibly originating from 'vous') was considered the polite form of 'thou', so if you were talking to someone above your station you would use the word 'you', and 'thou' would be used if you were talking down to someone. These days there is no distinction, you have to be more roundabout. So to be polite you could add the word 'madam' or 'sir' or 'mistress/master', you could begin with an apology or start with a compliment (depending on the relationships.)

Child talking politely - "Excuse me sir, are you a magician?"
"Excuse me sir, can I (please) have some pie?" (Insert 'may' for 'can' if the child is better educated.)
"That's a horribly big spider you have on your back, sir. Is it yours?"

[Applegate]

I'm currently writing a story where characters talk differently to others depending on their rank/seniority. Are there more indicators that I can use for a more subtle shift? Or do you think that shifting the politeness outside of the dialogue and using body language would do the job better? Since it's not a society where someone either is below you or above you, it's a bit difficult to write like it is.

This depends by and large on the culture you're writing about and what their native tongue is. For example, when I speak to my grandmother, I say things as, "Would grandmother like some tea?" (translated) instead of "Would you like some tea, grandma?" because addressing her directly is considered rude, and speaking of her in the third person is polite. In other countries, it's considered impolite to refer to someone in third person when speaking to them.

Can you clarify what culture your story is set in?

It's funny that you should mention Dutch, because it's a rather impolite language compared to English. Many Dutch sentences work perfectly fine as "polite" form by simply substituting the word "jij" for "u". In English, as the others have demonstrated, you have to do a little more work. The funny part is that in Dutch, we'd describe it as "omslachtig" to speak in the same polite way the English speaking nations do.