[closed]Orchestral piece, please point out funky spots?

[mjshi]

Created using Finale.

Name: Familiar Faces

Status: In progress

I just want to know how it sounds so far- some parts (especially in the beginning) I feel that the notes kind of.. contrast each other.


http://vocaroo.com/i/s0asoBEY2nAL

[trooper6]

Could you post a pdf of the score? It would be a bit easier to analyze with the notes to look at.

Also, what are you going for with the piece?

[ThisIsNoName]

Well, the first thing I noticed is that the song doesn't really seem to go anywhere. I liked what you were doing with the arpeggios, but then it seemed to just drift on into another musical tangent.

Overall, I really liked the beginning, but after about the 15 second mark it seemed to lose focus.

Like trooper6 said, it's hard to give more in depth critique without a pdf or midi of the specific notes.

[mjshi]

Screenshot of the score:

http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/6405/pmxt.png


@ thisisnoname: I'm planning on expanding that 'tangent' later on, hopefully it'll fall into place.

[canyouseeitnow]

It sounds funny because it has no structure to it. It sounds a garble of random notes.

If you're new to it, you should be start with a chord progression, then build off a melody from it, with a rhythm section to add color. Follow a simple structure of intro, Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus, Bridge, Chorus.

Most game-centric orchestral piece of have a "motif" that repeats itself, something catchy and short, then it leads onto a powerful melody with support rhythm and chords. It follows a structure of call/response, that is it has one melody that calls out, and a secondary melody that responds to it, alternating between the two, with perhaps a bridge that ties all of them together, and sections of tension/release.

I highly recommend looking up Radient Historia's OST. It sounds amazing and is super simple to deconstruct.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En1E4y3Zjd8
Structure of said song:
Intro riff (fanfare) -> Rhythm -> Main melody A introduction with Reed -> Main Melody A with Strings -> Contrast Bridge -> Main Melody A -> Main Melody (response) B -> ETC.

[mjshi]

Okay, I'm completely a beginner at this so thanks for the pointers.

Guess I need to study it a bit more.

[GeraldWarlock]

One thing I'd like to add is that there isn't much of a climax. I mean, Delius doesn't really seem to go anywhere but he also has kind of a climax. Also maybe if it contrasted more, like have this one part that's moving. I see that you're writing this for string orchestra, have you considered adding double bass?