I really just can't write that light-hearted style! XD
In any case, I think the character sprites are still pretty neat, so I'll upload them here for you all to use.
Just give me credit if you use them ("Ionacer on the lemmesoft forums" should suffice). If you do use these sprites, come back and tell me! I'd love to see what you're using my borderline-okay character designs for.
https://www.mediafire.com/?e4n2qi3j30ovirn
Preview of what's in the zip file: