Age differences for love

[Showsni]

I wonder if many of the people who would be squicked out if the partner were old enough to be their father would be quite as opposed to it if their partner were old enough to be their great-great-grandfather. (Or in other words, had a longer life expectancy anyway.)

Stuff like Aragorn and Arwen? Or, dare I say it, Edward and Bella? Hm, such a massive age difference can lead to the two not having much in common. When they met, Aragorn was 20 and Arwen was over 2,700. And their relationship didn't seem to be perfectly happy; you kind of get the feeling Arwen regretted it.

[Ramidel]

I wonder if many of the people who would be squicked out if the partner were old enough to be their father would be quite as opposed to it if their partner were old enough to be their great-great-grandfather. (Or in other words, had a longer life expectancy anyway.)

Stuff like Aragorn and Arwen? Or, dare I say it, Edward and Bella? Hm, such a massive age difference can lead to the two not having much in common. When they met, Aragorn was 20 and Arwen was over 2,700. And their relationship didn't seem to be perfectly happy; you kind of get the feeling Arwen regretted it.

Yes, but Edward and Bella are the perfect couple and forever and ever in true luv! The author says so!

[azureXtwilight]

I wonder if many of the people who would be squicked out if the partner were old enough to be their father would be quite as opposed to it if their partner were old enough to be their great-great-grandfather. (Or in other words, had a longer life expectancy anyway.)

Stuff like Aragorn and Arwen? Or, dare I say it, Edward and Bella? Hm, such a massive age difference can lead to the two not having much in common. When they met, Aragorn was 20 and Arwen was over 2,700. And their relationship didn't seem to be perfectly happy; you kind of get the feeling Arwen regretted it.

Yes, but Edward and Bella are the perfect couple and forever and ever in true luv! The author says so!

Oh God.
I said no. XD

Back in topic, yes. That worked in literature, but in real life, if we use logic though, their mental stability and the way they think are different. So much difference. But then again, if we use logic, it wouldn't happen.

[chelxoxo]

Stuff like Aragorn and Arwen? Or, dare I say it, Edward and Bella? Hm, such a massive age difference can lead to the two not having much in common. When they met, Aragorn was 20 and Arwen was over 2,700. And their relationship didn't seem to be perfectly happy; you kind of get the feeling Arwen regretted it.

Ehhhh??!?! Were we reading the same book?? O.O Arwen died shortly after Aragorn did, and she gave up her immortality for him... that's what I call love. I don't think she regretted it! She'd had years to think about what she was doing, and I hardly think it was a spur-of-the-moment decision! XD I think it's just how Tolkein portrayed her. You know that those elves like to be all melancholy...

--- Anyway, fantasy-wise, I think the differences in mentality, beliefs and views is limited because they always look a lot younger than their age... All that idealism can be refreshing or annoying, but meh, it's not real, however sadly. In reality (oh, how I prefer fantasy >_<) I'd say it doesn't matter as long as people are in love. After all, nothing matters if you love the other person, right? Admittedly, it is odd to see a 17-year-old with a 60-year-old (and yes, in Britain it HAS happened before, and has been in magazines) who isn't a golddigger truly in love with a much older guy... but if that's what floats their boat, who are we to say what is and isn't 'right'? As another example, my mum's partner (and the dad of my youngest brother) is 12 years younger than her, and 6 years older than me, and they've been together happily for over 3 years now. Might seem weird to some, but meh. There are more shocking things in the world than age differences.

[Chansel]

It is different in fantasy stories, since they usually involve different races. A 100 year elf might have the 'mind' of an 18 year old human. I mean, who knows right? So, the acceptable age difference is much bigger then, me thinks. Of course, this depends on what kind of race we're talking about. Maybe it's a race that's accustomed to marrying only people of the same birth year? So if they marry someone 10 years older, it's a scandal. Or maybe it's the other way around.
That's just the amazing thing about fantasy settings. It's all up to the creator *evil grin*

[Jake]

A 100 year elf might have the 'mind' of an 18 year old human.

Now I'm having the mental image of an elf who's stuck in the 'but why?' phase for a couple of decades. It's no wonder elves are often portrayed as patient and calm; all the ones who weren't would have been locked up for infanticide. ;-)

[Chansel]

Haha, now that's an interesting thought XD
Someone should make a story about that! Poor parents though... *shudders*

[kara24601]

I'm pretty much in agreement with PrettySammy09 - In the real world I think there are lines that shouldn't be crossed and/or rather things are going to be very tough for you if you're a young female in a relationship with an older/much older or much much older male or vice versa.

Of course fiction is fiction so just about anything goes as long as its all consensual.
I am so sick of tired of rape crap this and rape crap that everywhere I turn.
So my games - (if I ever get any done *sigh*) - will never have any rape scenarios even if they may or may not have other so-called "questionable" content.

[LVUER]

Remember the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction". If things could go crazy in fiction, who knows what already happened somewhere in the corner of this huge world?

[kara24601]

Oh, I know! I am constantly amazed - (although deep down I know I shouldn't be hah) - at all the crazy stuff I come across on the internet as reports of various such things happening in the real world and so many stories about them too!

[dott.Piergiorgio]

well, I wonder why fantasy worlds isn't swamped by elves and half-elves.... If we think a bit, a lady with millennia of fertility and being always on the top of aestethic is really much more dangerous than unchecked rabbits......

On the initial topic, my opinion (I guess should remove some doubts on "upper brackets" people) is that around 35-40s for males what actually count is that the partner is not only mature of mind, but also have a good brain.....this generally means that the age difference is of little matter, females generally mature sooner than males, but as one can guess from other threads, for a 40 y.o. guy is more around 30s than 20s....

Also, in the age difference, one should take into account the cultural differences, more so in the recent pair or three generations; I'm a mix of old and new (take for example my having both walls of bookshelves and a sophisticated use of computers and modern media & communication systems) but this don't necessarily means that I consider a wide age bracket, but I look in both compatibility and complementarity, having in the couple a sum of strenght instead of a sum of weaknesses....

HTH, and
Best regards from Italy,
dott. Piergiorgio.

[dott.Piergiorgio]

The minimum age to get married without permission in Holland is 18.
But we can have a legal drink at 16 C:

well, The Netherlands has always very unique ways of looking at intoxicating substance so legal age (and even legality) in The Netherlands are definitively far from the average....

[Lace]

well... unless their not doing like underaged sex or anything... and they really love each other
then i guess its alright...

but you have to be really careful i guess o_o;;
there are some really weird people out there..

[J-chan]

Someone probably mentioned the XKCD comic about this? Haha. I think in that strip it's "Don't date younger than (your age/2) + 7."
But personally, I think if it's love, age often doesn't make a difference. Except maybe in extreme cases...? But most of my happiest memories are of when I was dating a boy four years older than me. I find it also becomes less socially acceptable when one is in high school and the other isn't. And I mean, if you're just with a high school student for the sake of being able to say so, that's a problem! But if the person you love happens to be older or younger than you, then it doesn't matter what others think. o:

[Topagae]

Oy, society is so demanding about this subject. Personally I'm a little horribly prejudiced and don't like to see much age difference between people I don't think are mature enough to handle serious romantic relationships. But as you get older, it really matters less and less.

Of course, I started dating my current fiance just as she left high school while I was in college, somewhat because I was worried what people would think if I was doing it while she was still in high school. Are you in a problem like that?