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Fair point. I just found the one was ironic considering the other.

I saw the paper clip next to the thread name and said "ooh, this thread has attachments~"
I was not disappointed.

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Isn´t it nowdays everywhere like that?
When a 14 year old friend told me that she did it 'cause she was the only one in class who didn´t do it, I too was shocked like -I-don´t-know- . :/

Well, OOT a little, but my policy is to answer if asked. So...

Nope, not in everywhere. In my country, you're supposed to be still a virgin when you're married (for the first time, obviously). Someone even could divorce his wife if he found out that she's not a virgin anymore (of course, this is rather extreme even for my country). Unfortunately, there's no way to check whether a guy still a virgin or not (T___T) unfair, don't you think.

I've mentioned this several time, but I'll say it again. In my country, you're only allowed to have intercourse with your spouse. Even if you're already adult, there is no legal way to have sex other than with your legal spouse. You are breaking law (and could be send to jail) if you "do" it with somebody else.

So, it's not an embarrassment if you're still a virgin in junior high in my country... in fact, it's considered very normal. And I believe there are many other countries like this too. Some even way more extreme than my country.

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Well, it´s not that OffTopic as for example in your country IT IS due to your religion, right?
What I meant wasn´t really "everywhere" as all in the world but more -western- countries, or simply said: Countries without a religion forbidding such things. (As there it is understandable).

Therefore I believe that the developement of opinions about sex of younger ones are going into the direction of "The earlier, the better" in "our" countries.

And I´m already afraid of my future kid conquering the world out there with only being 13/14 years old ;_;

That's really not the case. If it were, why would the Catholic Church also forbid IVF, whose purpose is to create more children - or why wouldn't they forbid the use of periodic abstinence to avoid having children? It's true that Catholics are encouraged to think of having children as a good thing and to some extent a responsibility if you're married, but they're certainly not obliged to have as many children as humanly possible.

Note that I said, "started" because of. I am well aware that the reasons are now different with the Church. I am speaking of the medieval and ancient Catholic Church. Like any institution that old, doctrine changes or traditions remain but take on new meanings. I was only speaking to the history of the practice.

And really, why would the Catholic Church want people to have as many children as possible these days? They are already one of the dominant religions on the planet, and recognize the poor quality of life that can result from overcrowding.

Like I said in my first post, I attended a lot of Catholic services and went to mass quite a bit. I've read the Catholic Bible and the Apocrypha. I don't dislike the Catholic Church and my comment about birth-control wasn't meant to be an insult. I like the pomp and ceremony and regal beauty of Catholic worship services, I just dislike the dogma and hierarchy.

I still remember when I was a kid and attending Protestant services with my mother and thinking that God must be disappointed with our simple little wooden church if the Jews were building the elaborate synagogues I attended on Saturdays, the Catholics had these amazing cathedrals I saw in movies and tv and one in person with my Catholic friend on occasion, and the Hindu temple I visited literally looked like something out of a fantasy movie, stretching high into the sky and containing hundreds of elaborate statues. I told that to my mother and see looked at me a little surprised and said, "God doesn't care about all that stuff." Then I asked, "Well, then. Why do we do it?" She never did say.

Haha. I guess that is the danger of raising a kid to be a multi-religious free thinker. They'll ask even more annoying questions than "Why is the sky blue?"

There's no actual way to check whether a girl is, either. Unfortunately, many people think there is. This leads to a lot of trouble in the real world.

Many people are at least vaguely aware that hymens can be broken in a number of ways other than penetrative sex. Fewer people are aware that sometimes penetrative sex *doesn't* break it, or that sometimes breaking it *doesn't* produce noticeable blood, or that some women are born without hymens to begin with, or that some people are so paranoid about the whole virginity thing that they go and have surgery to build a fake one.

It's also possible to have huge amounts of sex without going anywhere near the hymen at all. Obsessing about the hymen leads some people to insist that they're virgins when by other definitions they're ANYTHING BUT.

There is no way to know what someone has or hasn't done other than asking them and trusting them to tell you the truth. Unfortunately a lot of people don't do that.

For thousands of years, in many countries there have been underground industries selling things like fake blood for brides so that they can avoid being murdered by their husbands if their hymens don't happen to behave exactly like the myths say they should!

It gets worse, though: The belief that there SHOULD be a magical test that tells you whether someone has had sex or not has led to people doing all sorts of weird things to kids (including boys!) that they suspect of being sexually abused, and then pointing fingers at people based solely on the evidence of some made-up virginity test...



While I'm not that young anymore, at least when I was in school there were all sorts of rumors about everyone having sex at the age of 14, by the time we were 18 everyone I knew had embarrassedly confessed to me that actually they hadn't, ever. They were just boasting to look cool.

Certainly there are people who have sex young in most countries, but gossip isn't reliable. Some people say they haven't when they have, some people say they have when they haven't.

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I'm backing Papillon up on this one. I know a lot of members on this board are young and might think it is true that all their friends are having sex young, but I'm just under thirty (so you can still trust me! No young person will get that joke, will they?) and I can tell you that quite a few of those saying they had sex or are gossiped to have had sex are lying.

When I was in school, if you would've believed word of mouth and personal testimony, we were all experienced little Casanova's. When it is seen as uncool to be a virgin, OF COURSE everyone is going to lie about being a virgin. Did some of the kids actually have sex? Sure. But guess what? They were the ones that didn't tell anyone or brag about it. And that was a small percentage of the class.

In high school everyone thought I had had sex twice. Again, guess what? I was a lying little bastard. I didn't lose my virginity until I was in the Marines and hooked up with Navy medic girl. A LOT of the Marines in my unit were virgins when they joined - you could tell because they went out on the weekend, hooked up with some girl, and became bubbly grinning idiots grinning from ear to ear the rest of the week and constantly talking about how amazing and MAGICAL the sex had been. You could tell it was brand new and awesome to them.

In the West there is a social pressure to not be a virgin as it is seen as uncool, so people lie about it. In the East and a lot of conservative countries being a virgin is a virtue or prize so people lie about being NOT being a virgin.

So, life lesson, kids? Everyone lies. Do want you want to do and what you feel is right and don't feel swayed by what the majority of the group is supposedly doing.

@papillon
Yeah, I know.
But the thing I was shocked about is that my friend did it because of that, explaining to me that I should be more open about that that topic

But I sure knew enough girls which were talking 'bout who they had it with when we all were about 16. The problem just was - It was true :/

And - Although it sounded like this(I think): The thing I DID NOT WANT TO SAY is that I believe in things people are saying xD
I just feel like I know most of the time when someone I know very good is telling me the truth.

Being at an all girl's school, I've never felt the pressure of being a virgin - moreover, in my school if you've lost your virginity you're labelled as a slut/whore/player and people lie about BEING a virgin rather than vice versa.

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I was at an all-girl school too. A religious one at that! They still vary.

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*leaning back to reply related to my post 3 pages earlier*

@Taleweaver:

There is RELIGION indeed, but people aren't mostly into it especially the youngsters... my stepdad doesn't believe in God, and doesn't have a religion saying that "If I would pray to God, will money fall from the sky? No, you have to work hard so that you can make yourself a living". And as I happen to meet other japanese too, they're more of those that doesn't have any religion at all...(and my mom said this must have been the reason why that big earthquake happened cause no one beleives in God)

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THIS! I haven't finished reading hte thread. I stopped at this comment here. It sums up how I feel about how twisted things get.

Most of the time I am cautious about revealing my religion because after years of Christian rule in many societies there has come about a revolution against them, and now I get clumped with the sort of people who burn women at the stake for knowing medicinal healing rather than submitting to the healing touch of God through a male priest.

Okay, a bit of an outdated statement there.

As for what denomination, I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. For those who aren't familiar with that long title, I am Mormon, proud of it, but not terribly active right now due to anxiety constraints.

I will resume reading the thread now. (Really I should learn to read everything before I comment but they then I usually lose my train of thought.)