Lemma Soft Forums

Supporting creators of visual novels and story-based games since 2003.


Visit our new games list, blog aggregator, IRC, and wiki.
Activation problem? Email [email protected]
It is currently Fri May 24, 2013 4:56 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 127 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 9  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 8:38 pm 
Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 26, 2011 6:31 pm
Posts: 246
Location: ...behind you...
Projects: A Mysterious Note
Demo Link!!!(Also one at the bottom of this post)
Also, I have questions for you to answer about the demo at the bottom of the post (but you don't have to answer if you don't want to)

Plot
What Bora thought was a prank, wasn't a prank at all. Her parents are gone and she doesn't know why. The only hint she has is a ripped note she got from her parents, which tells her to go to Nabbeun High School. Nabbeun High School is known for having the worst students in South Korea. Soon after, she gets a new note. In these notes are hints to figure out the identity of the person who kidnapped her parents. If she can't do this in 6 months, her beloved parents will die, and who knows what else....

There are six obtainable guys and about 13 paths.
Surname is first.

Jung Bora
I'm 16 years old. There is nothing else to say about me.

Kim Minho
Image
According to Sujin he's 17 years old, but I forgot what else Sujin told me.
He's rude, really rude. I think he needs to learn some manners. I try to be nice to him but he is still so rude. I don't see what's to like about him. Though I guess he can be nice sometimes. He has a twin sister. I think he has a sister complex, because he's only and always affectionate towards her. He's a delinquent and he gets into fights all the time. He always win, but I wish he would lose at least once. He is a leader of a gang that most of the whole schools fear, though he doesn't abuse his power.

Oh Seunghyun
Image
According to Sujin he's 16 years old.
He's a stalker. I see him following Minho everywhere. He's taking some kind of notes, but he won't tell me what. When I first met him, I thought he was afraid of girls. He would always studder around girls, but he's perfectly fine around boys. I thought he was gay too, but he has a girlfriend. Juhee did say he was afraid most girls. He tries to look cool, but doesn't that attract more girls? One day I saw him surrounded by girls and I thought he was going pass out. It wasn't my problem, I did warn him, so I walked by ignoring his scream for help.

Takada Hiroki
Image
According to Sujin he's 16 years old.
He's Japanese, but he speaks fluent Korean. He doesn't talk much, though. He ignores everybody. Yoonmi says that when they were younger, he talked a lot and was way nicer. I don't talk to him much but I noticed he is very clumsy. He falls down and up the stairs, he trips on flat surfaces, he hits his head against doors, and so on. Suprisingly, he never gets injured.

Astor Leroy (his surname is last)
Image
According to Sujin he's 17 years old.
He's half French and half Korean. He speaks fluent in both. He moved here a two years ago and is the president of the student council. He's very quiet but if he says something everybody will listen. He sleeps in class but he always gets the highest grade in the class. He is very polite and helped me around the school on my first day. There's not much else to say about him, he's busy so I don't have the chance to talk to him much. He's a pushover, so our homeroom teacher takes advantage of that and makes him grade papers, and other things.

Kang Jiseung
Image
According to Sujin he's 18 years old.
He's very blunt, escpecially when it comes to music. On my first day in music class, I couldn't sing a song right and he told me everything that was wrong. He would stop me in the hallways just to say that I looked like I gained weight. I like honesty, but can't he be a little bit more nicer when saying that I gained weight? Eunmi says he was part of a band, but due to some circumstances, he had to quit. The bad was really popular too. I see him surrounded by girls asking why he quit and other things. But he gets rid of them by saying some mean things. There seems to be bad blood between him and Minho. Jiseung likes to keep promises, even the ones he had with Minho.

Park Kibum
Image
Sujin doesn't have information on him.
He's my homeroom teacher. He seems nice and caring, but I know that it is fake. He takes advantages of students too. He doesn't eat food at school and girls give him their lunches because they feel sorry for him. Even though they give him food, he doesn't eat. When I work at the convenience store he buys ten boxes of pre-made lunches. How rude! Girls give thier lunches to him, yet he doesn't eat it and buys pre-made lunches at a convenience store. He works at a sushi shop near the convenience store.
Girls

Kim Eunmi
Image
Her twin brother is Minho. She always give me lollipops and acts like an older sister to me. Minho is very affectionate towards her. She has a scar on her right cheek but she covers it up with a bandage. She doesn't talk much and she is very emotionless. Just like her brother, she gets into fights. Her hat is very distracting, and she's only wearing it because Minho bought it for her. She dyed her hair the same color as Minho's hair.

Choi Sujin
Image
All I can say about her is she is a stalker. She knows almost everything about a person in the school. But I tend to ignore her "juicy" information about guys. She's the president of the school's newspaper. She gives me the monthly newspaper and tells me to read it. She's always pestering me. Her father owns the Cherrii company,which is the best electronic company in South Korea, so she always get these "stalker" gadgets.(example: her cell phone contains four cameras, records voices at all times, and it can track down any person if it scanned their DNA.)

Nam Yoonmi
Image
She knew Hiroki when they were younger. She was the one who taught him how to speak Korean. She is always trying to talk to him, but he ignores her. She wears a necklace that Hiroki gave to her when they were younger. She's very mature but she wears frilly clothes to get the attention of Hiroki, because apparently he likes "cute" girls. She says she knows this because he plays some kind of game and always go after the cute girls. She is very rich, but she has no manners.

Moon Juhee
Image
She's dating Seunghyun. She's very shy but she wants to be a idol. She is bad at everything, except for singing. She's very polite and I help her with her homework. She doesn't have many friends, but she tries to be nice to everyone. She gets bullied a lot.

Screenshots
Image
Image
Image

Code:
Statistics:

The game contains 740 screens of dialogue.
These screens contain a total of 8,143 words,
for an average of 11.0 words per screen.
The game contains 3 menus.


This is my first VN, so hopefully the demo isn't too bad! ^-^ Oh and don't click the bonus or help, they won't work!

Demo Link!!!

Just some questions for you to answer after you finish the demo (though you don't have too...)
1. Who's your favorite character and why?
2. Is there anything I should fix?
3. Your opinion of the demo?
Critiques are greatly appreciated! :D

_________________
A Mysterious Note <----Now with demo!
My DeviantART account


Last edited by Death_HUG on Mon Nov 28, 2011 8:03 pm, edited 16 times in total.

Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 8:58 pm 
Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 26, 2011 3:01 am
Posts: 222
Projects: Demonic Harmony (Pause), Tale of the Nightingale (Pause)
Hmm Takada Hiroki's arms look a bit to small just pointing it out

_________________


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 8:46 am 
Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 26, 2011 6:31 pm
Posts: 246
Location: ...behind you...
Projects: A Mysterious Note
Mickychi wrote:
Hmm Takada Hiroki's arms look a bit to small just pointing it out

ah, thanks ^^ I'll see if I can fix that!

_________________
A Mysterious Note <----Now with demo!
My DeviantART account


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 10:54 am 
Miko-Class Veteran

Joined: Fri Jan 28, 2011 2:25 pm
Posts: 609
In the description you said Bora's father's company was scammed by her fiance. She's 16 and engaged to be married?
Is this common in Korea?

_________________
All of my VNs are at http://wolflore.net Some recent works on lemmasoft:
Vera Blanc and the Purloined patient http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=20801
Something Strange (modern fantasy/romance) http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=17127
Arnie and the Hitchhiker (vampire romance) http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=15382
Poorly done hand drawn art is still poorly done art. Be a Poser (or better yet, use DAZ Studio 3D) - dare to be different.


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 10:59 am 
Dystopian Princess
User avatar

Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2010 8:01 am
Posts: 1631
Location: Region III, Philippines
Completed: Soul and Heart, Twin Faces
Projects: Soul and Heart Replay ; The Court of the Two Sides (tentative title)
Organization: Lion Box Studio
Something new! All I see sometimes are all Japanese~:)

Good luck! This has potential ^_^

_________________
Image
Soul and Heart |Twin Faces [NaNoRenO] | my deviantART account | Lion Box Studio's update and development blog


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:32 am 
Lemma-Class Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 23, 2008 2:11 pm
Posts: 2545
Location: USA
Projects: RockRobin
Kim Minho's so badass.
Oh Seunghyun wears glasses? I see them. :D Also, stalkers are kinda cool. KINDA. Not totally.

_________________
I apologize in advance for being extremely opinionated.
[Tutorial] How to Customize the Textbox
[Tutorial] How to Customize Game Menus
Icon art by Mocha07734


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 3:55 pm 
Regular
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 3:18 am
Posts: 64
Location: Essex, United Kingdom
Projects: Scattered Starlight Dating Sim (GxB, GxG)
Organization: Neko Sousei
This looks great, I love your art. :)

Takada Hiroki looks really sweet. I can't wait to see the game. Gd luck with everything


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 8:23 pm 
Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 26, 2011 6:31 pm
Posts: 246
Location: ...behind you...
Projects: A Mysterious Note
@fleet
Um no it's not common at all ^^; if I remember correctly back in the day they would be engaged at an early age, but now only a few families do this.

@Lumen_Astrum
Thank you for wishing me luck ^^ and I know what you mean, most games I see are set in Japan.

@Aleema
Seunghyun does where glasses when he's only studying, but I'm thinking of an option where if you say you like him wearing glasses, he'll wear it for the rest of the game. And later in the game you'll find out why he's stalking Minho ;D

@Nekosousei
Thank you >////< not many people complement my art. I'm trying my best to get the demo finished, I've only coded the first day, but I keep rewriting the script....(blame my OCD)

_________________
A Mysterious Note <----Now with demo!
My DeviantART account


Last edited by Death_HUG on Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 10:16 pm 
Miko-Class Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2011 1:22 pm
Posts: 859
Location: Philippines
Completed: Caught in Between: A childhood prologue
Projects: I'm drowning myself in a lot of them! Most of them are collabs only though!
Looks interesting and the art looks really nice.
And I love the main character's attitude! She seems snarky. ^^
Good luck~ :D

Death_HUG wrote:
Seunghyun does where glasses when he's only studying, but I'm thinking of an option where if you say you like him wearing glasses!

YES! Add it! Add it... :twisted:

_________________
Image Image
"A fool who doesn't think is more foolish than a fool who foolishly thinks." - Franziska Von Karma
My avatar is chibi Alex in disguise, not chibi Zander. >_>


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:39 pm 
Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 26, 2011 6:31 pm
Posts: 246
Location: ...behind you...
Projects: A Mysterious Note
@SilverxBlue
haha, okay I'll add it ^^ and I'm glad that she seems snarky! I wanted her personality to be something like that.

_________________
A Mysterious Note <----Now with demo!
My DeviantART account


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 1:00 am 
Miko-Class Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 2:39 pm
Posts: 660
Location: Somewhere
I feel kinda guilty, because I like Oh Seunghyun best but he has a girlfriend already.

And that would be very nice if you got the option to tell him that. :D

I'd be torn because he'd look nice both ways. I guess I'd just have to play his route twice~

_________________
Will edit/proofread for cookies.

Image
I do free voicework! Click here for samples


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:39 am 
Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 26, 2011 6:31 pm
Posts: 246
Location: ...behind you...
Projects: A Mysterious Note
@Riviera
Maybe playing his route the second time will get rid of the guilt? lol >.< and yes, i like that option too so I'll probably add it early in the game.

_________________
A Mysterious Note <----Now with demo!
My DeviantART account


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:36 pm 
Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 10:30 pm
Posts: 415
Location: Right. Behind. You.
Death_HUG wrote:
Oh Seunghyun
Image

Seunghyun wears two pairs of glasses? lol. I think "absent-minded" should be added to his profile XD


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 1:49 pm 
Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2011 5:31 pm
Posts: 426
Projects: Pickles and Strawberries
The sprites look really good. So far, my favorite is Jiseung ^^
Can't wait to see how this turns out. :]


Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:42 pm 
Veteran
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 26, 2011 6:31 pm
Posts: 246
Location: ...behind you...
Projects: A Mysterious Note
@Snow Blossom
lol, yeah he wears two pairs of glasses >.< and know that I think about, he can be pretty absent minded. ^^
@RemnantDream
Thank you ^^ I'm glad you like Jiseung! (He was the only character that I had to draw multiple times >.>)


I started re-writing the story yesterday, but my grammer really isn't the best...so I was wondering if anyone wanted help me and proofread it?

Since I'm in a really happy mood(I passed my AP test!! :D) I wanted to show you guys the wip main menu! So, what do you think of it?


Attachments:
otomegame 003.jpg
otomegame 003.jpg [ 201.93 KiB | Viewed 5050 times ]

_________________
A Mysterious Note <----Now with demo!
My DeviantART account
Top
 Profile Send private message  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 127 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 9  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Protected by Anti-Spam ACP
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group