wingzofdarkness wrote:
I've read several stories and seen several movies about an alternative universe where the main protagonist is the "heir/savior/most sought out person" of that world. Maybe add some twist and edge to this so that it would not become "another" story about an alternative universe.
There's about 150 years' worth of
real world person has adventures in an alternate universe stories. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (circa 1865) and A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (circa 1889) were among the first, and there have been plenty more since then.
As other people will tell you, there are no truly original stories. But if you put in a lot of effort into your story, then you can make it distinct through quality writing, characterization, and so on. And you can take old ideas and shake them hope, presenting them in a clever way, or in a different package.
...Still, I don't recommend using characters named Cane and Abel. The symbolism is a bit too blatant...
Anyway, if you start with this common story concept, you can
mix it up and make it different. Think about the following...
* Help us understand the Kingdom of Enilion. Is it a peaceful nation, is it threatened by war, or is it an aggressor? Is it a real monarchy where a few people have absolute power, or do a variety of people have political power? Give us any information on what makes this country distinct -- religion, climate, ethnic diversity, etc.
* It seems the kingdom is paying a blind girl named Angelica for her fortune telling ability. Help us understand who she is, and what she does. Are her abilities a form of good magic, or do they come from evil supernatural beings? Is it necessary to be blind in order to have this talent?
* How long ago was the crystal stolen? Who did it, and how did they get away with it? Assuming the crystal has magic properties to prevent disasters and diminish war/internal conflict, it would make sense that a political enemy would take it. Also, what does the enemy plan to do with it?
* It sounds like four guys with some combat abilities are trying to recover the crystal. It seems a little odd to think that an entire nation would rely on just these four people. You'd think that if the crystal is so important, that they would be mobilizing an army. Perhaps this group is a small strike force, meant to act secretly, or meant to deal with just a few foes.
* Also, why is Yoko with this group, which includes two bounty hunters and an assassin? They might be good guys, but their jobs require them to kill people. This makes the guys seem like dark, threatening characters.
* And why teenage heroes? I think this can be justified without having to say "it's common in most eastern RPGs since the mid-90s." The characters live in a world which may have magic, but which almost certainly lacks modern medicine. In a world like this, many people die young, and only a few survive past the age of 30. I can imagine that the guys have been training since they were kids, and might have been fighting battles since their early teen years.
* Is Yoko stuck in the alternate world? Will she be forced to leave when the quest ends, or will she get the option to leave? If she goes home, will she be alone?
Some ways to rewrite the story could include...
* What if the woman who summoned Yoko is a political radical, or a fringe cultist? If she is, then only a small number of people might regard the Holy Maiden as a heroic person.
* What if the summoning was a mistake? The summoner needed a person with unusual powers, but ended up with an average girl.
* What if Yoko doesn't speak the local language, and vice versa? Until she learns the Enilion language, she can only talk with one or two people.
* What if more than one or two people have been drawn into this alternate world? How do the natives deal with them? (This idea shows up in Fuyumi Ono's series The Twelve Kingdoms.)
* What if magic is really common in Enilion? Yoko stands out because she doesn't have any.
* What if she is a huge fan of fantasy fiction, and expects that things will work just as they do in her favorite series. Perhaps then things start to go amiss.
* What if gender roles and beliefs about sexuality are very different?
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
Members
I dun really like cliche storylines either. And thank you! I'll add the progress soon after I thought some things out 
