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 Post subject: Concept Art Critique
PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:02 pm 
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Currently, I am planning a short demo of a VN about a guy who meets a girl at a bar, but the two are later antagonized by the giant or a man. It carries two routes that takes the two in either a park or a cafe. and I plan for two ending each. It will also be probably under 4,000 words.

These two in the attachments are the main heros, Emilio the rather sincere guy who gets into a bar with a fake ID trying to meet friends. And then there's Ashleigh, the shy woman who isn't afraid of having two guys duke it out for her. (Is that even normal?)

So this is a basic idea on how they might look. Think of them as test sketches. Emilio is actually a character in an old comic about how he befriends these kids when he was 16, and even though he was the odd man out, he began teaching them a lil something.

Emilio- my personal critique is that even if I filled in his hair color, he would still looks like Zack Efron, I want to work on the hair.

Ashleigh- She looks a bit slutty cause of both eyes and hair.

So I want you to give out suggestion, what would you like changed what would you like to stay, ect.


Attachments:
File comment: What do you think about the Revamp?
Ash002.jpg
Ash002.jpg [ 186.04 KiB | Viewed 349 times ]
File comment: The Antagonist
Bruno001.jpg
Bruno001.jpg [ 140.11 KiB | Viewed 350 times ]
File comment: Concept Art
Em and Ash001.jpg
Em and Ash001.jpg [ 366.47 KiB | Viewed 352 times ]


Last edited by Coatl on Thu Jun 18, 2009 9:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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 Post subject: Re: Concept Art Critique
PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 12:08 am 
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To me they look fine, though if you think your char will look like Efron just make the bangs go down or something... To me your guys remind me of Danny Phantom, how do you feel now? :twisted:


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 Post subject: Re: Concept Art Critique
PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 12:36 am 
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Yorkie wrote:
To me they look fine, though if you think your char will look like Efron just make the bangs go down or something... To me your guys remind me of Danny Phantom, how do you feel now? :twisted:

The girl on the right looks too much like shego. lol But thanks for your response!


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 Post subject: Re: Concept Art Critique
PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 2:10 am 
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I don't think the dude looks too Zac-ish. And the girl definitely gives me a Kim Possible vibe. I like her design a little bit more; I think his eyes are just a pica too large for my taste. But they definitely look like interesting characters.

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 Post subject: Re: Concept Art Critique
PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 12:18 pm 
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Except from a couple of anatomical errors, they look good to me :3

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 Post subject: Re: Concept Art Critique
PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 1:46 pm 
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I think they look cute. I can't wait to see them inked/colored, I think you'll have a nice little VN on your hands.

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 Post subject: Re: Concept Art Critique
PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:45 am 
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hey this is some practice sketches I've done to figure out the poses and heights.


Attachments:
Ash004.jpg
Ash004.jpg [ 543.79 KiB | Viewed 360 times ]
Ash003.jpg
Ash003.jpg [ 337.22 KiB | Viewed 359 times ]
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 Post subject: Re: Concept Art Critique
PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 1:06 pm 
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Quote:
She looks a bit slutty cause of both eyes and hair.


....um? I don't see how a headshot can "look slutty".

That aside, the version on the right does look more polished, but the one on the left has more personality; I like her "say wut?" expression.

Emilio looks fine to me. I don't see anything particularly Efronian, aside from the haircut, which is really pretty normal these days. I enjoy his sticky-out ears :)


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 Post subject: Re: Concept Art Critique
PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 7:25 pm 
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Mhari wrote:
Quote:
She looks a bit slutty cause of both eyes and hair.


....um? I don't see how a headshot can "look slutty".

That aside, the version on the right does look more polished, but the one on the left has more personality; I like her "say wut?" expression.

Emilio looks fine to me. I don't see anything particularly Efronian, aside from the haircut, which is really pretty normal these days. I enjoy his sticky-out ears :)


Yeah I did not really worded that out, I just meant to say that the combination of the face plus the body made her look sensual, which is part of her character but I actually changed it to the latest version because I want the reader to feel that she's not as innocent as she looks.

I'm glad you like Emilio's ears. originally the hair is suppose to be simpler. and I didn't want him to have that handsome, flawless trait that most main character's have so that's why I gave a certain roundness to his face, and ears like that.

Hey I just realized that if they were tooney animals like looney toons, Emilio might have been a monkey cause of the ears. lol


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 Post subject: Re: Concept Art Critique
PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 8:15 pm 
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Ah, that makes more sense. Yeah, I can see that -- also, the right-hand version looks younger.

Haha, yes. Perhaps an easter egg is in order. >:)


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 Post subject: Re: Concept Art Critique
PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:27 pm 
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Mhari wrote:
Ah, that makes more sense. Yeah, I can see that -- also, the right-hand version looks younger.

Haha, yes. Perhaps an easter egg is in order. >:)

maybe. but first, I have to stop struggling at getting Bruno's anatomy right! Fuck it, I'm a beginner, if it looks alright I'll just post it as is...


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 Post subject: Re: Concept Art Critique
PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:30 pm 
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Update on the artwork! Please Critique!


Attachments:
File comment: She went through a major change both cute and sexy. lol
VN sample003.jpg
VN sample003.jpg [ 265.18 KiB | Viewed 358 times ]
File comment: Do you like it as is, I feel like his original size seems better but if you like it then, I'll simply fix the face and start the final pencils.
VN sample002.jpg
VN sample002.jpg [ 238.92 KiB | Viewed 355 times ]
File comment: The MC, will have his sprites will be made the last of the three for the alpha and then I'll finish the remaining two or three.
VN sample001.jpg
VN sample001.jpg [ 305.65 KiB | Viewed 355 times ]
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 Post subject: Re: Concept Art Critique
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 9:07 am 
Coatl wrote:
Update on the artwork! Please Critique!

Yaranaika?


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 Post subject: Re: Concept Art Critique
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 7:32 pm 
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Guest wrote:
Coatl wrote:
Update on the artwork! Please Critique!

Yaranaika?


...seriously?


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 Post subject: Re: Concept Art Critique
PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 8:19 am 
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The first thing that came into my mind when seeing the portrait of the antagonist:

"Everybody who has Lupin III as an antagonist is up for major trouble...."

Aside from that minor gripe, the revamp has certainly helped making the artwork more attractive. There's still a lot to be done in terms of body symmetry and proportion to make the art look good, but I like the general style.

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