Interesting and cool style of music.
Very pretty visuals too. The style is kinda cool and I really like the choice of fonts too. I particularly like the "painted' backgrounds.
Thank you - I am fond of the transparent overlay, and of course Hime has done a great job on the sprite. And I'll pass on the compliments to evo. I'm glad you liked it.
I hope I don't come across as ignorant/hypocritical since my English isn't always at my best. I often lose coherency in my thoughts and writing. But I found many of the sentence structures kinda confusing like having too many "because" and "but" in 1 sentence, confusion of past and present tenses, poorly structured sentences and so on.
On the plus side, you managed to at least convey some of the characters' intended feelings, thoughts and situations. And as another plus, being able to convey the characters' emotions = good 'cos there're too many games, novels, etc. where the "world" is rich and full of details but the characters are really wooden and 2-dimensional.
On the off side, I think the script really needs a certain amount of proofreading and editing. See, the sentences are kind of confusing so the characters' voices don't always come through properly.
The using of multiple "because" and "but" is intentional, to show thoughts as they occur, without paying too much attention to how they sound. You can think about it like when confessing something under stress, the sentences aren't really structured that well. I write in such a way in my native language as well (provided it's that kind of story). On the other hand I wouldn't deliberately want to confuse of past and present tense, so if that happened it was not intentional. I sometimes switch tenses during a narration so that it feels more immediate (like starting in the past tense and then switching to present for an intensive scene), but I don't really want it to be confusing. As for the speech, Marie is always indicated, and there isn't really anyone else, so their speech should be identifiable.
Plus, I don't really know what is the point of mixing sentences about: different types of thoughts, things that happened in the past and which are happening right now... all without any italics or some sort of sentence decoration or plot technique to help the readers distinguish the various parts. This made parts of the plot actually kinda confusing.
I think the level of indication is sufficient - things happening in the past have their own music and b/w style (though I think you're referring to the Monaco evening reception which was color on purpose), and I don't think visually or otherwise distinguishing between types of thoughts is necessary, because Angus' career is tied so closely to his life and relationship, that I feel it would in fact be a bit overstyling to categorize his thoughts like that, especially since the game isn't really that long.
Also, this is probably a bit of a personal preference but I found that it kinda broke the mood a bit when I'd to scroll through the "text I already read". When reading a VN, I tend to look through the backlog a lot in order to "connect" and "put together" the overall ideas, sentiments, etc. the writer is trying to convey. See, the game goes from "music" to "no music" which sort of breaks the flow of the mood since you're using "music" to convey the atmosphere, right? Plus, wouldn't it have been better to let the players read the backlog text in 1 whole chunk instead of making them scroll through all the previous screens? After all, the game seems fairly texty and though, I do understand the need for visual presentation, it seems a little counter-intuitive.
I assume you're talking about rollback (what the game has, where it "rewinds" in a way) vs. readback (just reading a "backlog" of the text). I'd say as you pointed out it's largely indeed a matter of personal preference - in long conversations the "backlog" is ok for me, and it may also work better with cover-the-whole-screen text boxes (games with a layout like Kana or Tsukihime), but as a general principle when making games I prefer the full rollback/rewind approach. I also prefer this kind of "rewind" as a player, since for me it's actually breaking immersion to have the text spread out like a .txt file that I have to scroll, which makes me aware of the computer-based nature of things. But I can understand when other people prefer a different method, it's just that I don't see myself using it anytime soon.
In any case though, thank you for the feedback, it really helps me to know, because in fact my future project is going to continue going in this direction. Thanks again!