Lemma Soft Forums

This is a good tutorial, thanks OokamiKasumi. I will keep this in mind-- when I posted my work not too long ago asking for critique I was pretty specific on what part of the story I wanted critique on, and didn't get any responses, so I was considering being more general in the future. But it looks like it's okay, and even desired, to be specific, so that's good to know.

Oh, being specific is always better---it forces the people giving feedback to provide more thoughtful answers.

daikiraikimi wrote:This is a good tutorial, thanks OokamiKasumi. I will keep this in mind--

I'm glad you liked it!
-- Cutting loose once in a while can be soooo refreshing!

daikiraikimi wrote: . . . when I posted my work not too long ago asking for critique I was pretty specific on what part of the story I wanted critique on, and didn't get any responses . . .

You need to remember that this is a Gaming site. We have some damned good writers on here, but many of them are shy about showing their skills --and offering their help-- because certain other people bark very loudly, frequently, and they bite too. (They've gone after me too, but my hide is tougher than average, and I am fully capable of biting back. V^^V *chomp!*)

I was involved in a couple writing projects for the past month so, my apologies. I didn't see your post. I'd offer to check your work, but I may be too much of an editor for you. My writing standards are ridiculously high. I'm not a creative writer, so I follow some pretty exacting rules about plot, character, and sentence structure. To make matters worse, I'm anti-POV swapping, and I refuse to use the word 'said' or any other dialogue tag. (Oh, and my writing ego needs back-up lights and a warning signal. It's that huge. I have to squeeze it though doorways.)

If you would like me to look at it, send it to me though PM. This way I can avoid the snappers. Just don't send me your entire manuscript! That's way too much work. It would take weeks to go through something that big.

daikiraikimi wrote: . . . I was considering being more general in the future. But it looks like it's okay, and even desired, to be specific, so that's good to know.

Abso-flogging-lutely!
-- The more specific you are, the more likely you will actually get what you need fixed. Also, consider adding to your future posts that it's OK to contact you through PM. This will make it easier for the shy writers to offer their help.

Mad Harlequin wrote:Oh, being specific is always better---it forces the people giving feedback to provide more thoughtful answers.

And answers to the stuff you actually Need, rather than random stuff you may already have a handle on.

Just chipping in to say how much I love this post. And trying to help get it stickied.

If we stickied every good post, we'd have a forum full of stickies - and no actually discussion.

ColaCat wrote:Just chipping in to say how much I love this post. And trying to help get it stickied.

Thank you, sweety!
-- Hopefully, you found it useful too.

PyTom wrote:If we stickied every good post, we'd have a forum full of stickies - and no actually discussion.

ROFLMAO!
-- Very true.

OokamiKasumi wrote: You need to remember that this is a Gaming site. We have some damned good writers on here, but many of them are shy about showing their skills --and offering their help-- because certain other people bark very loudly, frequently, and they bite too. (They've gone after me too, but my hide is tougher than average, and I am fully capable of biting back. V^^V *chomp!*)

I was involved in a couple writing projects for the past month so, my apologies. I didn't see your post. I'd offer to check your work, but I may be too much of an editor for you. My writing standards are ridiculously high. I'm not a creative writer, so I follow some pretty exacting rules about plot, character, and sentence structure. To make matters worse, I'm anti-POV swapping, and I refuse to use the word 'said' or any other dialogue tag. (Oh, and my writing ego needs back-up lights and a warning signal. It's that huge. I have to squeeze it though doorways.)

If you would like me to look at it, send it to me though PM. This way I can avoid the snappers. Just don't send me your entire manuscript! That's way too much work. It would take weeks to go through something that big.

Thanks! I'll try to post it's okay to pm me-- my work was also posted in the adult forum so maybe more people were embarrassed about replying. (Also there are just fewer people over there in general.) I would love to have you look it over (and being brutal is 100% okay, sometimes my feelings are hurt but I'm pretty good about not taking it out on other people, and then working to improve.) I may need to flesh it out a bit more first though-- I had posted a part story part outline and was asking if the flow of events seemed interesting, but I think I will take a second look at the awesome writing tutorials on your site and try to put more actual writing into it before I send it over. (And won't do a whole manuscript, it's just one scene!)

Thanks again for the offer.

daikiraikimi wrote:Thanks! I'll try to post it's okay to pm me-- my work was also posted in the adult forum so maybe more people were embarrassed about replying. (Also there are just fewer people over there in general.) I would love to have you look it over (and being brutal is 100% okay, sometimes my feelings are hurt but I'm pretty good about not taking it out on other people, and then working to improve.) I may need to flesh it out a bit more first though-- I had posted a part story part outline and was asking if the flow of events seemed interesting, but I think I will take a second look at the awesome writing tutorials on your site and try to put more actual writing into it before I send it over. (And won't do a whole manuscript, it's just one scene!)

Thanks again for the offer.

One scene sounds great! I look forward to your PM.
-- In your work, Note where you intend to use CG images and Character images so I won't pester you about adding description where you don't need it.

Have you made a mock-up of the game yet?
-- If you have some kind of base to work with it's sometimes easier to decide where you need images, and what kind of images you'll need, vs. where text alone will do.

Wow, I guess I can understand you a bit, because I have a similar experience for myself. It's not that I've been bitten or something, not that harsh, but it's kind of unfortunate when people just asked for feedbacks, but when they got it, they just bit you back or simply ignored what you've said.

It's not really my business, though, when I meet people like that. It simply shows me that they don't want to fix what's bad in their work, and they won't level up. Clearly when they publish the work, it will show up. I've tried to tell and that's enough, I think.

And I agree about specific question and PM thing. PM is a better place to discuss deeper about something rather than just in comment section. I usually ask for a proofreader and when there is one offering, I PM them for specific question. I wonder if I should ask more specific from the beginning. This is an important reading for people who want critiques and I'm glad I didn't miss it.

Ernestalice15 wrote: . . . I wonder if I should ask more specific from the beginning? This is an important reading for people who want critiques and I'm glad I didn't miss it.

YES! Be specific about what you want to know about your work from the very beginning. This makes it easier on you and the person checking your work for you. You don't get a pile of what you don't need, and the proofreader or beta-reader doesn't waste their time and effort on what you won't use.

I'm glad you liked the essay!

OokamiKasumi wrote: One scene sounds great! I look forward to your PM.
-- In your work, Note where you intend to use CG images and Character images so I won't pester you about adding description where you don't need it.

Have you made a mock-up of the game yet?
-- If you have some kind of base to work with it's sometimes easier to decide where you need images, and what kind of images you'll need, vs. where text alone will do.

I will write where I intend to make CGs, thanks for the tip! And I haven't actually made a mockup... Maybe I will do that first and send the mockup to you? I think drawing will make me feel less insecure about my story (since I have more confidence in my art) and like you just said I don't have to worry about adding too much detail when there is a CG.

daikiraikimi wrote:I will write where I intend to make CGs, thanks for the tip! And I haven't actually made a mockup... Maybe I will do that first and send the mockup to you? I think drawing will make me feel less insecure about my story (since I have more confidence in my art) and like you just said I don't have to worry about adding too much detail when there is a CG.

I would Love to have a mock-up of your game! It would make it much easier to see what type of game you're trying for, and how much text you actually need. Also, since Art is your specialty, we should be able to cut the text down to almost strictly dialog; using dialog instead of narrative to deliver any needed details. That should take much of the writing burden off of you.

Everything alright over there, Okie? Did somebody go and commit unspeakable acts upon your respective Cheerios? I can't help but be curious as to what sparked this.

Personally, if I had to choose between the two, I'd much rather deal with someone who bites back at criticism than someone who just ignores it and goes on like they never even got it, or worse, thanks you for it and then proceeds to make no changes or edits based on your feedback. I get that it's not easy to look at what you've written and realize that you might have to rewrite it, but if just dotting some i's and crossing some t's just isn't going to cut it, trying to get away with it is just cutting corners and taking the lazy way out of having to revise your work. If it's just you writing a story, that's disrespectful to yourself and your story. If you're part of a collaboration, it's even worse, because it's disrespectful to the rest of the team members in addition to that. I think I would be quite frustrated if I were an illustrator or musician of fair skill and I saw that my writer was phoning it in. If I were a voice actor, I'd be infuriated with being given terrible lines to speak.

At least if someone is biting back, a dialogue has been opened, and that gives you something to work with. Sometimes you just gotta let someone get their little tantrum and release some steam before they can get back to thinking rationally. Even if they're just pissed off at your feedback, that's some kind of indication that they have ingested and are processing it, and whether they ultimately reject it or not, they at least took it into consideration. Better that than to wear the mask of false appreciation and discard that feedback without a word.

But that's just me, and I'm the kind of guy who would rather read someone's two-hundred page forum spam on why he thinks my mother is a whore than two empty lines of praise from someone who wants to tell me that he thinks my mother is a classy lady.

This topic is great! (I didn't mind the harsh tone, it kinda helps noticing the issues one may cause) and once I get to post something here for "critique", now I know how can I get the best feedback.

... Even though my topic will probably be "Hi, I have this text and HELP ME FIX ALL ABOUT THIS MESS PLEASE".

RotGtIE wrote:Everything alright over there, Okie? Did somebody go and commit unspeakable acts upon your respective Cheerios? I can't help but be curious as to what sparked this.

Oh, my Cheerios are just fine, but my Lucky Charms were absolutely Desecrated! (Couldn't resist.) As for the cause of this...? Let's just say that I "snapped under the pressure," and leave it there, 'kay?

truefaiterman wrote:This topic is great! (I didn't mind the harsh tone, it kinda helps noticing the issues one may cause) and once I get to post something here for "critique", now I know how can I get the best feedback. ... Even though my topic will probably be "Hi, I have this text and HELP ME FIX ALL ABOUT THIS MESS PLEASE".

LOL! I'm glad you enjoyed the post.
-- I've noticed that if a post is Funny or Sarcastic people tend to remember the contents.