Aquae ~Crystal Clear Waters~ Arc II - Ocean Tide v1.0

[Softdrink9876]

I loved both the arcs that have been done so far! Here's what i have to say....

Storyline: I love it. Reminds me of 'The Little Mermaid' a good bit...but very original in many ways. I am a writer and have made many prompts.....and in all good ways, this story sounds a lot like one i made up once...so it makes it easier to understand and stuff

Art: the 1st arc had great drawings......2nd arc had a few good changes to characters, but i not so likey what happened to the art of that mermaid guard girl who's name started with an R......i think Ryui...or something like that...(totally forgot name...ugh)

ETC.: The whole thing is great! A few (1 or 2) minor things sort of threw me off, but it is nothing to talk about. As a writer i ask you to pls put a flashback for Kaz's mom about what happened those years ago (prob. are anyways), give them some good bonding time, and also, try to make some sort of romance b/t either Frain and the mermaid guard girl, or between Kaz and the mermaid guard girl(<-----Lets go with that one)......(NOTE: if you gonna do any of this i have said anyways, just ignore little old me )

[Sakurazaki]

Thanks! We'll def keep your suggestions in mind '3'

[Esphirisa]

*sigh* I have failed to open the 2nd version of Aquae Arc I. Maybe it hates me ._.

So, anyway, abandoning my studies, here's my humble opinion!

I loooove the backgrounds of the beach, or any other that included the sea. If I starred at them long enough, as I did for Arc I long ago, they would appear as though the waves are moving. The music is also suitable. I would prefer if there was music for all the scenes, but you covered most of them, so that's fine. I like the way you told the story. Most VNs that I play will have some comedic moments, but this one has a calm feeling that has no need for that. Ah, but the twists didn't have much impact. I think it would be good to have something totally unexpected and groundbreaking.

There's a little typo (if I'm not mistaken, it should be 'explanation' instead of 'explaination') I only noticed that because it appeared in the KN a couple of times. Oh yeah, this is another Kinetic Novel I love~ There's definitely character development, and I'm sooo happy that my theory was right (Kaizarel's *cough* missing parent). Hurray for purple eyes! Plus, I always knew that Erika was suspicious! I have no idea if I had mentioned this earlier, perhaps on a separate post, but I love the Arc titles... (they make you anticipate what's on the next arc). Lastly, I love the art... I'm glad to see that you included the folds of the clothes... some wouldn't bother... and amethyst do suit him well. *cough* I won't put this in spoiler tags, because I doubt anyone can figure out what crap I'm spouting if they haven't played.

So, anyways, good job~! I can't wait for Arc III! xD (But I will!)

EDIT : OHH... before I forget... will Amelia appear in the future? ._.

[Sakurazaki]

@Esphirisa

Thanks so much for your feedback. What problems were you having with opening arc I?

As for Amelia....oh trust me...she gets more screentime >_>;......more than I wanted.

Also in regards to the plot twists...we'll try to do a better job in the next visual novel haha. Aquae is really just a testing ground for us. We've learned a lot of new things, what not and not to do.

[Rezznik]

@Esphirisa

Thanks so much for your feedback. What problems were you having with opening arc I?

As for Amelia....oh trust me...she gets more screentime >_>;......more than I wanted.

Also in regards to the plot twists...we'll try to do a better job in the next visual novel haha. Aquae is really just a testing ground for us. We've learned a lot of new things, what not and not to do.

Blasphemy....what is this next visual novel that you speak of?

[frederic09]

Nice sequel. Just a little short

Now i have a wierd theory.

What if

Amelia being a siren too, and was sent by the Elders to "spy" the humans ?

We don't know how Frain has met her, right ? We may have a surprise in the end.

And please, for the third arc, i'd like to see an happy end. If you can't, don't worry i will not mind, as long as the story is great ^^

[Victoria]

Ah, now I get it, thanks for the answer =D

[Softdrink9876]

posting this to stop my email from filling up with notification of reply's to this game.

[salis]

Both arcs are fantastic! Aquae has such a gripping storyline, great characters, good art, and tons of originality. I enjoyed Arc II - Ocean Tide just as much as the first and I’m really looking forward to playing the third installment.

The story is very well written and intriguing. The second arc answered a lot of questions and posed some new ones too. I really enjoyed the twists the story took and I hope to see more of the same in Arc III.

There were some nice changes to the art from the first arc. I love the new cel-shaded style and the cleaner, sharper images. There were a few minor inconsistencies, such as the light pixel halo on Kaizarel’s images, but overall, great work.

The music fits the feeling of the story perfectly and the backgrounds are well done too. That combined with the logo and the awesome CGs ties it all together quite nicely and has a very professional feel to it.

I can’t wait for the next chapter of Aque and I look forward to playing more visual novels from you!

[Sakurazaki]

Ah thanks for catching the halo thing on Kaizarel...I'll have to fix that.

Yep, sadly the 3rd arc will be the last of the game Thanks for all your feedback, Sailis

[kinougames]

And a critique on the second piece. I hope it's useful to you.

1) Once again, the music delivered and more. Perfect for the type of story, and it was clear that a lot of attention was paid to it.

2) The entire deal with Ryrui complaining about humans struck me as really hypertypical of fantasy creature stories, specifically mermaids, and I unfortunately didn't enjoy the flashback to King Triton and Sebastian from the Little Mermaid lecturing her on how humans are horrible and etc etc. It's unfortunately worse than overdone.

3) Despite that, the dialogue is definitely some of the top I've seen, but I would get an editor on it because there were more mistakes than in the first version and it really did throw me off, and there are just some little story-based errors I feel could be fixed by a beta reader.

4) LOVE the scene where Frain gets snippy with Ryrui and calls her simple-minded.

5) Ryrui's characterization is more erratic than in the first version...I want to like her, but she seems to throw herself out of character awkwardly and abruptly. One moment she'll have more elegant speech, which will become slang, which then becomes rather churlish...

6) I feel as if the repetition of the fireworks scene, as much as I loved them in the first one, were sort of unnecessarily duplicated in the second.

7) The constant use of "the noble" and "the guard" make the story hard to follow at times, as well as throw the smoothness of the story-telling off. I would suggest just using their names...they're not repeated so often that it's a bad thing.

My largest problem with the second part was that all of the cliches from the first arc actually came true. It was pretty obvious that Kaizarel was going to be related to a mermaid that would show up later since she just "disappeared" instead of dying, and it really started to become very Disney-like a la "The Little Mermaid 2" with the banning of beaches and Kaizarel being lured into the water (which I immediately assumed in the first arc was due to mermaid heritage). I just feel like it's very "typical fantasy story" and I wish that it'd been allowed to grow and come away from that.

9) The scenario with Erika was expected, but I felt it all moved too quickly, and I was rushed through a massive plot point in the story. It's likely that it seemed even faster because it was such a large plot point, but I would slow down the story and really give parts like that time to marinate a little more.

Again, hope this helps you with your commercial endeavor!

[Anima]

I'm unable to unpack the Linux version, apparently due to file corruption. The problem occurred with a second download as well. So, it looks like the problem is with the file itself. Though it's odd that nobody else seems to have this problem. (I'm running Ubuntu 10.04, if it matters.)

[Sakurazaki]

Ok I'll try to get the problem fixed as the file is currently w/ rezznik. I'll PM you personally with an updated file as well as update the first post when I can.

[Anima]

Thanks, but there's no need for any urgency. I tried the windows version, which does run under wine. I'm looking forward to reading it tomorrow.

[duckiii3]

WHOA! I just recently downloaded the first arc and read the latest version and I have to say-- the storyline is incredible >U< * I didn't really pay attention to the new and old first arc so whenever I have time after all the school work I'll go read the older version as well ^^* I just had to comment while I wait for the second arc to load. ahah. Good work! The art is great as well! Out of the visual novels I've seen so far, this kept me reading~ Thank you for sharing!