TWO (working title)

[moxie]

My first WIP! Not my first project, but this is the first one I'm planning on releasing.

Intro:

Humanity has destroyed itself. Through war, famine, fear, greed, corruption; every evil man fed upon flourished until it swallowed him whole. Decades of desolation finally led to the end of mankind. Cities were abandoned and left to rot. Most of the earth was contaminated by nuclear fallout, and much of the land had turned into desert. Most creatures died under the extreme radiation, a few mutated to gross , unrecognizable forms. It was as if the earth itself died.
Every land was a graveyard.
Every sound was stilled.
It was quiet.
So very quiet.
But not silent.
Not quite yet.

Follow the story of some of the last people on Earth.
Rish was once a soldier. After his regiment was annihilated in the last great battle, Rish is left alone to wander alone, believing himself to be the last person in the world for several years, until one day he is meets a mysterious girl.
Unable to talk to him, she tries to communicate only via strange marks. Rish realizes that she is able to read and write, an art long thought lost. He names her Ryter and the two struggle to survive on the dying planet.

Comments and critiques are solicited and greatly appreciated, on art, storyline, anything you can pick at.

A few issues I'd like your opinion on, if you please.
I was wondering if the background and the sprites blend too much win with each other. I wanted to make the game grey and bleak-looking, but in doing both the background and sprites that way, it may be difficult to separate the foreground and background. Does the present picture look too confusing, or is it fine?
If you were alone at the end of the world, what would you do?
I considered making them the absolute last two people on earth, but that seems like a pretty forced storyline, that the last two people in existence just happen to meet each other. Does this sound phony or is it okay? I don't plan on any other characters besides Rish and Ryter for the sake of simplicity.

Thanks so much for reading through this. =) I'm hoping to get it done by the end of winter break.

[Veniae]

Whoa, I really like the sound of this! And the screenshot looks nice! About the blending of the sprites with the BG... I think it's okay, what I could suggest off the top of my head is lowering the BG's contrast so the characters pop out more.

As for what I'd do if I were the last person on earth... I'd try to rebuild stuff. Especially if the only other person is of the opposite gender.

Also, not sure about the no other characters thing - I mean, you need a conflict to have a plot and without anyone other than the protagonists, that could prove tough (unless they bickered all the time and just couldn't get along with each other). But I'm not in your head and don't know what your idea is, so yeah. xD

Good luck, I can't wait to see more!

[fleet]

This is very similar to an episode from season 3 of the original Twilight Zone (the title is the same, the man is the only one who speaks, it's in black and white, the war has been over for several years, there are only two characters).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two_%28The ... ht_Zone%29

I had no trouble with the sprites and background from the sample picture.
If the story line is good enough for classic tv it should be okay for you to do your version. I would recommend changing the name.

very respectfully,
fleet

[moxie]

@ Veniae: Thank you! I think I'd do the same as you, I'd find a nice abandoned library to set up house. ^_^
The conflict will largely involve the inability to communicate, I think. It'll be in third person from the pov of Rish.

@ fleet: Nice catch! I watched it the other day and got inspired. I wondered what would happen after they decided to get along. I don't plan on it being very similar other than the concept.
Yeah, the name of the game always gave me trouble. >_< I suppose 'TWO' should be the working title. I'll come up with a better one along the way.

Thanks for both your inputs, I really appreciate it.

[Rewritten Ennui]

It's been a while since I last read anything post-apocalyptic, and it's not exactly my favorite genre. Still, I'm willing to give this one a go It'll be interesting to see how Rish and Ryter (icwutudidthar) communicate with each, if they do at all. As for comments on what you've got thus far, I'll number them.

1) The basic premise itself isn't all too unique; humanity goes to war, nearly nukes itself to death, animals and plants possibly mutate, and only a few survivors are left. It's all been done before, especially the part with the guy meeting the girl. However, the thing that does stand out is the fact the guy can talk but cannot read/write, while the girl is the exact opposite. This sounds interesting to me since it'll pose problems and lots of misunderstandings when they first meet, and I really want to know how they'll get over this communication barrier.

2) I really like those character designs, though I think Rish could use a couple scars :3 The only two things that's offsetting me a little bit is that their pants aren't as tattered as their clothes and the hands look kinda tiny (but maybe the hands part is just me :/). For a story like this, your current style (just shading in everything) or muted or faint coloring would suit it just perfectly. I can see the difference between the sprites and the background just fine. If you do decide to color it, dab on a little skin tone and some subtle color on the sprites and stick to plain earthy tones for the backgrounds. No bright, fluorescent colors that stand out a lot, or else it'll totally break the mood of the whole thing. Also, the buildings and whatever remaining structures in the background should be more dilapidated; post-apocalyptic means that no one is going to have time to make sure everything is nice and pretty.

3)If I were alone at the end of the world, I'd probably get really depressed D: If there are only a handful of humans left (I'm talking 70 or less people out of a world that is 7 billion before massive genocide or what have you), there's little chance that humanity can rebuild itself back to pre-war status. Procreation would be slow, death rates would be high thanks to disease/starvation/whatever, and even if humans do survive long enough to get a new generation in, eventually everyone will be related to each other and the chances of genetic mutation increases due to some technical-term-I-forget-the-name-of-right-now. Yeah, just thinking about it is enough to make me depressed :C

4)It would be too much of a coincidence if the last two remaining people on earth happened to bump into each other, and it just so happened that one was a girl and the other a boy :/ Maybe you can mention other groups of people (like Rish has seen a couple people band together and form small camps, but he didn't like the way they did things), but this is up to you.

5)Is Ryter mute or can she speak in a different language? Just curious to know.

So I poked and prodded at anything I could think of to pick at, so hopefully it isn't TL;DR status. Good luck, and I'll be watching you supporting you c:

[9:19]

I think the sky can stand to be more...fluffy. The clouds, I mean. At the moment they distract me from the sprites. Other than that, the art suits your story. I like the muted atmosphere.

If the end of the world came, I'd probably be dead along with the first batch of suckers. I'm not very hardy. However, should I happen to survive, I'd raid the supermarkets and eat the ice cream before a black out comes along. Not much of an aspiration, but hey.

The idea of a girl who is literate and a guy who is vocal in a post-apocalyptic world reminds me of Octavia Butler's short sci-fi Speech Sounds, only gender-flipped. I wasn't too fond of that story, but I'll wait around and see where yours goes.

[moxie]

@ Rewritten Ennui:
Thanks so much for the input. No, I like long replies, I definitely read all of it, and am glad I did. You had several suggestions I like, like pockets of other survivors, and the muted coloring, I might do that.
Ryter's disability to speak will be revealed in the story. I considered making her a foreigner, but then she'd have to write in a different language and that would make the story a bit more difficult to convey.

@ 9:19
Haha, the filter for the clouds didn't turn out quite like i imagined... I'll have to play around with it a bit more, then.
I've never read that story. But you wouldn't recommend it, you say? Hmmm, I hope this one pleases you better, then. ^_^ Thanks for your help.

Thanks for reading!

[15385bic]

i cant do backgrounds at all. B&W or coloured >_>

so ur leaving all urs in monochrome? i quite like the style - sometimes its so much better than coloured or even when it just has a dash of colour

end of the world game huh? I was playing a rpg sort of game that had anime style graphics and cut scenes that had that sort of plot - it was really pretty - *Fragile Dreams* on the Wii

[moxie]

@ 15385bic:
Haha, I can't do BGs either, that's why it's a filtered stock photo.
I haven't played that game; though I have a wii. I'll take a look at it, thanks for mentioning.

[gekiganwing]

There's a LOT of stories which happen during after some sort of world-ending event.

But to go along with what Rewritten Ennui said, I don't think your two leads should be the last two humans. They would have a great deal of trouble surviving on their own in the real world wilderness. If they're living in a setting with post-apocalyptic dangers, then they won't get far if they have no one to ask for help. Of course, I can imagine two people who don't fit in with tribes of bandits... but I think they'd need to trade supplies with them.

[Weakjounin]

Well recently I read the The Day of the Triffids and it was set in a post apocalyptic world with a guy and a girl who get separated and find each other and stuff.
although in this story they are by no means the only humans left, they are just some of the few who can still see. There's some interesting development in that book, if you haven't read it, I suggest taking the time to take a peek at it
also: is Ryter based on the fact that she's the only one with the ability to write (Writer)?

[moxie]

@gekiganwing:
Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. I had doubts about them being the absolute last, as well.

@weakjounin:
I love post-apocalyptic stories, thanks for recommending that, I haven't read it.
Yes, I made did that to her name on purpose. Rish isn't very creative...