Hi.
dott.Piergiorgio wrote:eh, just yesterday I have finally readed it
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
on the speed, or lack of, of the text, I have a bit suffered for it
This has been an issue for me for a while now; I have considered doubling the text speed from 30 characters per second to 60 to ameliorate the issue. It makes the piece a little faster than I completely intended, but providing that reading speed and text appearance do not directly corrolate, perhaps it will make little difference in the end with regards to how fast the piece is read.
yuastnav wrote:A very lachrymose story.
So short yet touching.
Thank you.
I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I am glad my story could convey feelings to you.
Musashi wrote:Hi, I've tested the new Linux version under Ubuntu Karmic and Lucid, and it worked perfectly! The new Mac version also plays correctly under Tiger. I really couldn't tell any difference between them - unless you are using unusual video formats or something, I'd just rely on Pytom's excellent code and release all three versions without worrying.
Ha ha! That is good to hear. I always worry a little due to lack of testing facilities here.
It is a good story, and the embedding the main plot in a flashback was a nice effect. The choice of music definitely helped!
I felt that the music was perfect from the moment I heard it. I am lucky there was music available in the public domain, and MacLeod and Gelhaar are talented musicians.
The choice for a flashback scheme is because I felt that, to keep the piece short, I would have to skip certain (uninteresting) parts - daily conversations are not very fun to read when read extensively, and I thought that someone flashbacking would be more inclined to only recall, or tell of, the most important parts. In this case, meeting the girl, and seeing her for the last time were the prominent parts that the speaker remembered.
The flow was very much improved over the last version, although there was still some friction between my reading speed and the text progression speed.
I have since upgraded the text speed from 30 characters per second to 60 in an attempt to improve this aspect, without making the text flow too fast - I hope that will remove this as an issue.
Dunno if this can be done, but maybe to get the right "reminiscing" feel, you could have a voice actor read the main character's part.
I am afraid I don't know how to implement voice acting, or where to find a good voice actor for little compensation. I will also admit I am unfamiliar with the VN scene, so I have not yet seen examples of implemented voice acting, and am wary of using a scheme I am not familiar with.
I noticed that the text speed had rhythms very close to a person speaking, which gave me the idea.
Whenever I write my texts, I try to read it myself first. If I find it can be read aloud easily, I will keep it as is, or sometimes adjust the text to make it flow better. I have not always succeeded - sometimes I was unsure how to change it, or felt the original line worked in written format even if it did not speak well. However, I wanted the piece to read as something that could be spoken, given I believe it is easier to read.
I think this piece could be really be Renpy front-page-feature quality with a little more polishing. Seeing all the criticism makes me think that people really care about the story, that it should come out and shine at its best.
Ha ha. I am glad to hear that, although I admit I am not entirely sure on its room for improvement.
I have since discovered the NVL-mode, but I am unsure where to insert the text breaks, when permit new screens to begin, and how to handle the date listings. (which seem a little odd in NVL-mode if I keep them as is)
Fixing a new version for release may take some time - I do not yet have an idea how to accomplish a renewed main menu, and a story written in NVL-mode, although I admit I would like to make this as best as it can be, with reasonable boundaries kept in mind. If I had my way, surely I would have a soundtrack composed especially for this piece, with lovingly hand-drawn pictures included. Ha ha!