The self defense check, says self protective not self defense. And I just noticed it says "to change to course of your horse" I could also say that you could add the moment of death. Ground coming closer, sudden numbing pain as you flatten against the surface, or struggle to swim as the waves throw you against a pointy rock. Yanno, all that "fun" stuff. "Before you can stop it your horse is racing off," add another coma after "stop it". I'm gonna try a different approach, full stats character right off the bat, and let's see what trouble I can get into. Welcoming Ball, Ana. after the choice "You must be happy at the opportunity to be able to create your own reputation,". "You shook her head no, but" You shook HER head? No I didn't. Talking to Penelope "we have only just met" is there a missing space here? the two words sure look too close for comfort. Still talking to her. "and tells you you should hurry" missing a comma in there. Zarad "is simply talking in is drawing a lot of" missing a comma in there too. Gisette "know every person of important at" Gisette "reflected back on its giver." This cursed match maker... full stats and I still managed to not impress her. Zarad "at respectability and respect" That's kinda redundant. Zarad "surprise if you if I could" Zarad "You blink at him warily" You mean wearily, don't you? Zarad "wary look and laughs." again, weary. Zarad "at least the you you bother to show people", missing a comma there. Hamin "so abruptly it's all you can", it's not really clear what is "all you can do" Emmett "realize that you earl emmett is already", Your? Emmett "If I'm going to fast just", too. Emmett "opportunity, you know feel" extra k, Lisl's event, negotiating with a horse? I teared up a little. Jarrod in the practice room, "I'm sorry, do wish me to leave?" I think that could be rephrased. After avoiding plumiting to my death... again. "came out of the hole affair". Gisette and zarad on the cliff, "changed it's mind, as the wind is want to do" Ship race event, Hamin. "far more than my usual wont" That doesn't sound right. Zarad you whiny... I bet he cost me the race, and here I thought his muscular phisique would be helpful.