Search found 5 matches

by queenjessica
Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:23 pm
Forum: Asset Creation: Writing
Topic: Feedback on Space Adventure VN
Replies: 8
Views: 779

Re: Feedback on Space Adventure VN

Thank you for reading! I did leave out one choice in the first scene in this post so following the script wouldn't be confusing, but I agree, that's probably not enough choices. I think I'll add in more choices throughout what I've written, even if it's a small thing like you said.
by queenjessica
Sun Apr 15, 2018 1:05 am
Forum: Asset Creation: Writing
Topic: Feedback on Space Adventure VN
Replies: 8
Views: 779

Re: Feedback on Space Adventure VN

Thank you so much for taking your time to give me thorough feedback, Widdershins! Thanks for what you said in the beginning and for the critiques. I've seen visual novels use the past tense, but I think you're right about the first person point of view. I'm considering putting it in first person poi...
by queenjessica
Sat Apr 14, 2018 6:37 pm
Forum: Asset Creation: Writing
Topic: Feedback on Space Adventure VN
Replies: 8
Views: 779

Re: Feedback on Space Adventure VN

Yeah, I don't think it'll ever get flashy or have such a drastic change, but I am liking the subtle changes I'm making while editing.
by queenjessica
Sat Apr 14, 2018 1:31 pm
Forum: Asset Creation: Writing
Topic: Feedback on Space Adventure VN
Replies: 8
Views: 779

Re: Feedback on Space Adventure VN

One thing I can definately advice you is to write less descriptive, more enthralling. You write very to the point and with adding your descriptions and explanations of the things you're talking about in a very soulless way. It's almost like reading a manual sometimes. 'Open the lid. The lid can be ...
by queenjessica
Sat Apr 14, 2018 12:48 am
Forum: Asset Creation: Writing
Topic: Feedback on Space Adventure VN
Replies: 8
Views: 779

Feedback on Space Adventure VN

Hi! I'm writing a space adventure VN and would like some feedback on the prologue and part of the first chapter (you don't have to read all of it). Any feedback is really appreciated! I'm wondering if this could potentially be released or if the quality isn't good enough to do so. Here's the prologu...