Anton's Vacation {Episode One}

[KomiTsuku]

For the first play it was very hard to make decisions:

at the moment I knew all
the characters and understand them a bit, it was (nearly) impossible to change
anything: I targeted at Syl, but got chief director in the end. On second play
I already knew enough of them to make appropriate choises: it was easy to find
all other six endings, maybe a bit too easy; but that's not fair enough,
because I already knew something about each character beforehand. From the
other hand, in real life it is often necessary to make decisions with
insufficient data on your hands.

So my feelings about early-important-choises
are mixed enough.

Very true, as other people have mentioned. If/when I do a remake, this is something I am going to keep in the forefront of my mind. However, this SHOULD only be an issue for episode 1. This isn't the whole game in its entirety. When the next episode comes around, I'm hoping people don't dump all the knowledge they gleaned from EP:1. In terms of knowing how to react with each girl, it SHOULD be easier, as you noticed, after the first pass. Yet... I would warn that blindly pursuing love over duty might be dangerous in the long run. You gotta know how to balance... just not right now in this episode. Right now I'd blindly follow one path. >.>;

I liked a blend of humor and serious drama, I personally prefer more drama and
plot which engages player to think something about, but this is my very
personal preference and I don't insist on anything.

I'm trying everything I have to stick to my old ways and want to write sitcoms with a backstory, but there are a lot of people who want to see less of that and more of the drama. It feels like I'm selling a bit of my soul, but I think I will be increasing the drama over the humor in the upcoming parts.

Chief director dialogues were a bit annoying, not without some special salt,
but nevertheless they annoyed me and ruined general mood.

I'm curious, and pose this question to everyone, but did you hate Chief because he ruined the pacing of the story or because he was a self-centered prick? Don't worry about my feelings, he really is just a character and I have thick skin.

English is not my native language and I must admit it was hard for me to read
some slang in dialogues. I do not ask you to make it simpler (ample language is
a good style), but maybe the style should be more literate.

Truth be told, I never thought about non-native speakers. You've given me something to think about.

Text font is quite good, but lower "k" is barely readable, can be easily
confused with "h'" or something like that.

Like the Chief parts, I've gotten a lot of mixed feedback about the font. XD Thanks.

Thank you again for reading my story and leaving a review. ^_^ It really does mean a lot to me. I hope to see you around for Episode Two.

[bircoph]

I'm trying everything I have to stick to my old ways and want to write sitcoms with a backstory, but there are a lot of people who want to see less of that and more of the drama. It feels like I'm selling a bit of my soul, but I think I will be increasing the drama over the humor in the upcoming parts.

You are a creator of this game and I do not want to push you over scenario changes, because I do not know your ideas and a plot, and any interference may ruin something. In my opinion in terms of the plot it will be better to stick primary to your own view of this game, but with some reasonable consideration of gamer's opinions for secondary corrections.

I'm curious, and pose this question to everyone, but did you hate Chief because he ruined the pacing of the story or because he was a self-centered prick? Don't worry about my feelings, he really is just a character and I have thick skin.

Well, to be sincere, both reasons have taken place, but with different weights: I'd say 30:70 for ruined pace vs character. But I want to note, that an idea with some external/unexpected interruption is not that bad. This distracts for a while, cools a head and allows to continue the game with some different view on the events ahead.

Thank you again for reading my story and leaving a review. ^_^ It really does mean a lot to me. I hope to see you around for Episode Two.

I'm looking forward for the second episode, though I do not want to haste you: when art is in concern it is often better to spend more time in an appropriate mood to create a better work.

Also I want to praise neat graphics of this game, I haven't mentioned this earlier and it deserves it

[KomiTsuku]

I'm trying everything I have to stick to my old ways and want to write sitcoms with a backstory, but there are a lot of people who want to see less of that and more of the drama. It feels like I'm selling a bit of my soul, but I think I will be increasing the drama over the humor in the upcoming parts.

You are a creator of this game and I do not want to push you over scenario changes, because I do not know your ideas and a plot, and any interference may ruin something. In my opinion in terms of the plot it will be better to stick primary to your own view of this game, but with some reasonable consideration of gamer's opinions for secondary corrections.

I got a lot of people wanting to see more drama, and while I'd prefer more comedy, it isn't outside what I normally write and wouldn't really bug me too much. Making some small changes to the story flow doesn't bug me, especially when I think I can have both.

I'm curious, and pose this question to everyone, but did you hate Chief because he ruined the pacing of the story or because he was a self-centered prick? Don't worry about my feelings, he really is just a character and I have thick skin.

Well, to be sincere, both reasons have taken place, but with different weights: I'd say 30:70 for ruined pace vs character. But I want to note, that an idea with some external/unexpected interruption is not that bad. This distracts for a while, cools a head and allows to continue the game with some different view on the events ahead.

Hmmmm... This gives me some very interesting ideas. Just kidding. Maybe. However, I have decided that you will not see Chief running around breaking the fourth wall anymore.

I'm looking forward for the second episode, though I do not want to haste you: when art is in concern it is often better to spend more time in an appropriate mood to create a better work.

Also I want to praise neat graphics of this game, I haven't mentioned this earlier and it deserves it

It really was a joy working with the artists. ^_^ The only thing in terms of art that is being changed up is that Auro-Cyanide is doing the sprites. You can see the concepts at the bottom of the page here... http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 38&t=10308

As for when it will be done... I'm aiming for roughly 2k words a day, adding in the time it will take to get the CGs done... it should be ready by mid-September.

[Auro-Cyanide]

It really was a joy working with the artists. ^_^ The only thing in terms of art that is being changed up is that Auro-Cyanide is doing the sprites.

Yep, sprites are my job~ I will show you a side character I did for the nest chapter. I think Samu-kun will like this one ^o^

[KomiTsuku]

I'm not going into a full rant about how Episode Two is shaping up. That is a rant for a place other than the completed games topic. But, since I really don't have a lot to talk about in WIPs because I'm more hush hush than Apple, here is a quick picture version of a section of script that I am working on. The more I see it, the more I'm glad that Auro-cyanide agreed to do the sprites!

I may actually do a WIP so I can occasionally show these brief snippits and short rants about how things are going. Still looking at a September release for Episode Two. It is gonna be roughly 5x as long, so please bear with the longer wait.The story is getting a lot darker as the danger looms overhead, but, it still is his vacation and no vacation would be complete without a trip to the hot springs. Wish I could go on a vacation...

[Nebi]

Hi. Overall I liked it. One of the few that I played from beginning to end. Well, one ending, anyway. Congratulations to you and studio(s) involved.

I did not mind the humor - it was refreshing for me. My stories always go overboard with the drama and it never ends well. To me, the tone was lighthearted and relaxed; never once did I feel like the story was trying to shove a moral lesson down my throat. To be fair a lot of anime and manga try to incorporate moral lessons into their stories. That's why I found it refreshing. My recent infatuation with space stories probably gave me a positive impression right from the start - hence I may be biased.

To me, the characters outshone the story; as in, their daily interaction seemed more interesting to me than the plot. I don't see anything wrong if that is how you want to proceed. I think you did well sticking to what you liked to write about.

The artwork is well done. The background artist(s) did a very good job with the textures, perspectives and the lighting. The character artist(s) also did a very good job. No complaints about the artwork in general; the interface did not jump out at me but it works and did not detract from the rest of the artwork.

All I can think of for now. Keep up the good work and I look forward to your next release.

[LVUER]

Recently played it, trying to open all ending but only managed to unlock ending 1, 3, 5, 6, and obviously 7. If I persistent enough, perhaps I could unlock all the ending without any help... but I've been busy lately that I (quickly) resort to your guide. After reading your guide, I find that some of the choice just doesn't make sense (ex: why if I choose this, another girl's point goes up when she's not even there?) But overall, this is a good game, couldn't wait for the ep.2

Every time after playing it for several moment, graphic bugs start to show up (the graphics really screwed up). It doesn't have any impact on gameplay though...

Btw, is the reason why Anton could save the universe so many time because Chief-editor always shows up like a Deus Ex-Machina? If it is, then it really makes sense since he have an omni-potent all-knowing god besides him ^_^

[KomiTsuku]

I did not mind the humor - it was refreshing for me. My stories always go overboard with the drama and it never ends well. To me, the tone was lighthearted and relaxed; never once did I feel like the story was trying to shove a moral lesson down my throat. To be fair a lot of anime and manga try to incorporate moral lessons into their stories. That's why I found it refreshing. My recent infatuation with space stories probably gave me a positive impression right from the start - hence I may be biased.

If you're getting a moral lesson from me, something has gone horribly wrong in your life. Horribly, horribly wrong.

To me, the characters outshone the story; as in, their daily interaction seemed more interesting to me than the plot. I don't see anything wrong if that is how you want to proceed. I think you did well sticking to what you liked to write about.

To me, it is a strange balance that I've never been very good at keeping. I'm hoping that in the next episode I can make both sides happy. Although I must admit I am surprised at people telling me they like the characters and their banter. I've always considered that to be a weak spot for me.

The artwork is well done. The background artist(s) did a very good job with the textures, perspectives and the lighting. The character artist(s) also did a very good job. No complaints about the artwork in general; the interface did not jump out at me but it works and did not detract from the rest of the artwork.

Alas, the interface was done by me, hence why it did not hold up very well. It should be much nicer looking in the next episode.

All I can think of for now. Keep up the good work and I look forward to your next release.

Thank you very much! ^_^

[KomiTsuku]

Recently played it, trying to open all ending but only managed to unlock ending 1, 3, 5, 6, and obviously 7. If I persistent enough, perhaps I could unlock all the ending without any help... but I've been busy lately that I (quickly) resort to your guide. After reading your guide, I find that some of the choice just doesn't make sense (ex: why if I choose this, another girl's point goes up when she's not even there?) But overall, this is a good game, couldn't wait for the ep.2

The KCCC is a rather close-knit community. Anton saying something gets around quickly, and the other girls hear about it. Biggest rumor mills in the world are office lounges. However, in future episodes, it will be a lot more cut-and-dry in terms of options. There are always going to be moments when the "right" answer will be a little hazy or not come into effect immediately, but I will make it a little clearer.

Every time after playing it for several moment, graphic bugs start to show up (the graphics really screwed up). It doesn't have any impact on gameplay though...

Do tell. Where at in the story and what does it do? If there are bugs in the graphics, that is something I need to address.

Btw, is the reason why Anton could save the universe so many time because Chief-editor always shows up like a Deus Ex-Machina? If it is, then it really makes sense since he have an omni-potent all-knowing god besides him ^_^

Nope, nope. Chief very rarely shows up and almost NEVER does anything to help. He prefers to watch the characters struggle than actual get involved or assist. If he does show up, you can bet he isn't there to help or he has ulterior motives.

Anton manages to save the day so often due to the help of the more talented individuals around him. Go go teamwork!

[LVUER]

Hmmm... I don't know what trigger the graphics bug. Perhaps it's just me (or my PC, though this bug only occurs in your game). If I play long enough (saving, reloading, replaying, and so on), soon some character sprites are cut out and appears elsewhere (like hanging or show at the bottom screen), textbox have black section on it (which should be a drawing), and lots of black rectangle in the middle of screen.

Oh well, I'll just capture the screen next time I play it (I'm playing XChange Alternative YinYang right now ^_^ ) and the bug shows up. And just like I said, I don't know the exact reason that triggers the bug. If this bug really just shows up in my laptop, you'd probably better to just ignore it.

[Avaible]

Played it just now and naturally got the Chief's end.
In contrast to some of the other opinions I really enjoyed the game for not taking itself all that serious and focusing on the funny bits. I also really came to like the Chief; somehow I just can't bring myself to think of him as disarranging the mood of the game or the action/drama parts. Instead, he's complementing the story, probably because I like comedy more than drama.
The early choices were not confusing either, and I didn't once think that all the background information was boring or not fitting. Those recalls were necessary, funny and interesting, well, in my opinion at least.

I liked the humor in general, the characters were amusing and the actual plot served as a good way to introduce the relationships between them. I like the novel, good job done well.

[KomiTsuku]

Hmmm... I don't know what trigger the graphics bug. Perhaps it's just me (or my PC, though this bug only occurs in your game). If I play long enough (saving, reloading, replaying, and so on), soon some character sprites are cut out and appears elsewhere (like hanging or show at the bottom screen), textbox have black section on it (which should be a drawing), and lots of black rectangle in the middle of screen.

Oh well, I'll just capture the screen next time I play it (I'm playing XChange Alternative YinYang right now ^_^ ) and the bug shows up. And just like I said, I don't know the exact reason that triggers the bug. If this bug really just shows up in my laptop, you'd probably better to just ignore it.

I've tried it on different laptops and have been unlucky in replicating it. It may be screen size of the game conflicting with another program that is up. Sorry I couldn't figure it out. v.v

[quote="Avaible]Played it just now and naturally got the Chief's end.
In contrast to some of the other opinions I really enjoyed the game for not taking itself all that serious and focusing on the funny bits. I also really came to like the Chief; somehow I just can't bring myself to think of him as disarranging the mood of the game or the action/drama parts. Instead, he's complementing the story, probably because I like comedy more than drama.
The early choices were not confusing either, and I didn't once think that all the background information was boring or not fitting. Those recalls were necessary, funny and interesting, well, in my opinion at least.

I liked the humor in general, the characters were amusing and the actual plot served as a good way to introduce the relationships between them. I like the novel, good job done well.[/quote]
Glad you like it. ^_^ I'm awful at humor and rather seclusive IRL, so I worry that a lot of the attempts at humor and relationships between the characters fall flat. It brings out the warm and fuzzies when people like it. ^_^

[LVUER]

I've captured several screen (couldn't produce much since I've finished the game and didn't play much anymore). Like I said, perhaps it's exclusive to my laptop (they are old anyway). If you're still interested I could upload them this evening (it's still morning here and I'm still at my office... Oops).

[KomiTsuku]

While suffering some delays in the script and CG department (the death of the budget is what really is holding me back right now), I just want to say that the second episode is indeed on its way. It should be here in... another month or two. Please don't skin me alive. >.<; Here's a pretty mockup with some of the new sprites by Auro-Cyanide to tide you over until then!

[applegirl]

Hmm...the sprites look very different from episode 1. By the way, are the CGs being done by the same artist? I played the first one and really liked the art.... I ask because I noticed the first episode had CGs from more than one artist (which was very evident in style,

like the CG of Yoi and Anton hugging).

I understand how hard it is get get CG art, but having such different style in a VN is a bit distracting. Gosh, these sprites are very different in style! Are they supposed to look older or would that be a spoiler?

I have to admit, I think this series is very niche in terms of the forum/VN community. The otome games are easily the most popular and I bet that makes it very difficult to find artists who want to work on a game more geared for guys (I dunno if that is the intention, but it is a sci-fi game with the main character surrounded by women). I remember playing the first episode and feeling very impressed by the art. Story-wise, it felt like a huge prologue which makes sense in terms of the story needing to explain a lot of details (like who Anton was and why we should care). Was this kind of inspired by James Bond? I always had the feeling that Anton was the kind of suave agent who got the girl he wanted in the end. Although, who was the Chief inspired by then? Overall, it was an interesting start. But I'd like to see an Anton who wasn't the perfect agent type. I mean, what kind of story has suspense when you know the agent is seriously the Mary-Sue/best at everything kind of person? The flaws and humanity of each character would help greatly. I guess it all depends on what you plan though, will this be a gritty space drama or romantic comedy? If it is a romantic comedy, I guess we can look forward to cute/sweet moments in a relationship (as well as the bad, like jealousy)?

Ramblings, sorry. I guess I wanted to answer a few things I've noticed popping up on your deviant art and twitter. You definitely pour your heart and soul into the VN. I can tell man, I played the original Dream of Skies, this, and the remade version. I can tell you pour blood, sweat, and tears into publishing these. I've played a heck of a lot VN (OELVN and japanese). When thinking about yours, I figured out that I needed to have some kind of hook to pull me in. The art quality is very necessary and I'd say you've definitely improved in getting the necessary art quality to get attention. The interface can be excused at times because let's be honest, most VN have the simple choice-consequence pathway. But storywise, I guess we all are looking for that pull, that reason to pick this VN up to read over all the VNs that get published each day/week/year. That's what makes it so hard to get attention and recognition, especially if your tastes go against the majority.

So I guess the real thing to figure out is: what is that hook? I've read so many VN that I only remember/care about the very best ones. The ones that told a story so dramatic/comedic/romantic/charming that I kept coming back for more. I honestly think a game on this forum (to succeed) would tend to be the romantic/comedy with brilliant art and a girl lead. I haven't seen the reverse for a long time and I can understand if you don't want to go that route. But I must say, I fear the fate of Vera Blanc (a Winter Wolves game) or Other Age Second Encounters (a very under-appreciated Zeiva Inc game) that had good art and story, but remained very, very unpopular because it went against the mainstream taste. Is it enough to publish stories you care about if you feel like the very small minority appreciates it? Or is it worth trying a new direction?

I do feel like the stories are not being marketed to the right crowd. This forum's most popular games are games geared towards girls. Why not also put this on newgrounds? Guys definitely frequent that area and would probably care a lot more about a sci-fi VN with pretty girls around the main protag.