Faery Tale ~ A Romantic Fantasy Visual Novel

[Taleweaver]

A very nice entry to the world of VNs, and it works beautifully as a sort-of-twisted fairytale too. From the paths, Tristan's "long path" (to avoid spoilers) looks like the most satisfying one, and the one that says "good ending" the most. All the others are somehow semi-good, even though our protagonist (I called her Gwyn) seemed rather happy with the Oberon solution.

By the way, if this is a fairy tale, what's its moral? Every fairy tale needs a moral. Let me try to put one down:

There is no such thing as a kiss without consequences.

[OokamiKasumi]

A very nice entry to the world of VNs, and it works beautifully as a sort-of-twisted fairytale too.

Thank you so much! I did indeed try to put a twist on the tales. I didn't want anyone to guess the endings outright, even if they did know the original story.

From the paths, Tristan's "long path" (to avoid spoilers) looks like the most satisfying one, and the one that says "good ending" the most. All the others are somehow semi-good, even though our protagonist (I called her Gwyn) seemed rather happy with the Oberon solution.

Good catch! You're right. That story line leads to the actual Good ending to the story. However there is only one truly bad ending.

By the way, if this is a fairy tale, what's its moral? Every fairy tale needs a moral. Let me try to put one down:

There is no such thing as a kiss without consequences.

Bingo! Got it in one!

[IonicMomo]

Hee, I quite enjoyed this game, and a lot more than I thought I would! I was a little wary at first of the huge file size for the download, but it was absolutely worth it as the graphics were unique and stunning...very fairy-tale-esque and fitting for the story. And the story itself was certainly enough to keep me playing for all the endings.

I liked the slightly twisted take on the tales themselves; it made me think about how fairy-tales were once told, and that they were certainly not for children. I also liked that there was that very "adult" feel to the story, despite the protagonist's rather young age. Several times the storytelling came to the edge of falling into pornography (had the descriptions been more detailed, of course) before the scene quickly faded out. I have to say I'm glad you didn't make it pornographic, as the story was fine as it was without gratuitous sex scenes stealing the spotlight.

I have to agree with one of the earlier posters that I didn't really buy that all of these men would simply fall beside themselves for the protagonist (I named her Guinevere), but I can accept that this is a fairy-tale world and shouldn't really question it. I agree with the others that my favorite ending was the wolf's longer path. It was more satisfying not only because it was more believable and their history more developed, but because the protagonist actually got to be a self-made woman with a respectable business, and I'm all for that. I got the sense that they were supposed to be the canon pairing due to their names (Tristan and Iseult). Of course...I didn't so much like the fact that the wolf wasn't above raping her in his shorter path.

And I agree with whoever said that their favorite moment was when the protagonist said "Screw you!" to the sorcerer. I almost laughed out loud when I read that because the image is hilarious.

There were a few typos in the text, and a couple of instances where the characters were identified with the wrong name, but certainly nothing that made it unreadable. I was a little disappointed that the romances weren't really developed, but I suppose that's often the case with actual fairy-tales as well.

(And I didn't really get the sense that this was exactly a romance sort of story anyway, or at least not the typical, happy, true/pure/innocent love that you often find in fairy-tales. As pretty as some of the men may be, if these rather cruel and possessive creatures were my only options, I'd do everything in my power to remain single! But I'm not complaining; it was interesting to see this sort of semi-happy-with-a-vague-sense-of-uneasiness thing played out in the endings.)

My only other criticism is that, at times, the dialogue felt too modern to fit with the setting, especially when the heroine says things like "Yeah, yeah, whatever." I thought the music selection was excellent and very fitting with the mood; it flowed seamlessly to my ears. Overall, the piece was very nice! Thanks for making it!

[rubythorns]

That was quite fun. I really liked the humorous fairy tale theme. The art is amazing. I'm still working on getting all the endings though so far the wolf is my favorite character.
My favorite ending:

Is when she opens her own store. I thought the fan girls dressing in red for the wolf was cute.

[OokamiKasumi]

Hee, I quite enjoyed this game, and a lot more than I thought I would! I was a little wary at first of the huge file size for the download, but it was absolutely worth it as the graphics were unique and stunning...very fairy-tale-esque and fitting for the story. And the story itself was certainly enough to keep me playing for all the endings.

I'm so glad you liked it. I was actually worried that the story was too simplistic for anyone to really enjoy.

I liked the slightly twisted take on the tales themselves; it made me think about how fairy-tales were once told, and that they were certainly not for children.

Yes indeed. The original fairy tales were not at all meant for kids. In fact, if you really look at the oldest versions of them, they're horror stories about what will happen to you if you do the Wrong Thing.

I also liked that there was that very "adult" feel to the story, despite the protagonist's rather young age. Several times the storytelling came to the edge of falling into pornography (had the descriptions been more detailed, of course) before the scene quickly faded out. I have to say I'm glad you didn't make it pornographic, as the story was fine as it was without gratuitous sex scenes stealing the spotlight.

I just didn't feel those scenes were really needed. The story's focus wasn't about That, it was about

being careless with one's affections.

I have to agree with one of the earlier posters that I didn't really buy that all of these men would simply fall beside themselves for the protagonist (I named her Guinevere), but I can accept that this is a fairy-tale world and shouldn't really question it.

Unfortunately, I couldn't see a way to develop those any further without doubling the size of the game. Hmmm... Definitely something to consider for the Next game.

I agree with the others that my favorite ending was the wolf's longer path. It was more satisfying not only because it was more believable and their history more developed, but because the protagonist actually got to be a self-made woman with a respectable business, and I'm all for that.

Good! Because that was Actual canon happy ending.

I got the sense that they were supposed to be the canon pairing due to their names (Tristan and Iseult).

Correct. I figured I leave at least a clue -- to those who knew what they were looking at.

Of course...I didn't so much like the fact that the wolf wasn't above raping her in his shorter path.

Good. You weren't supposed to.

And I agree with whoever said that their favorite moment was when the protagonist said "Screw you!" to the sorcerer. I almost laughed out loud when I read that because the image is hilarious.

It's my favorite moment too. I also like when she says,

"No kisses for you, ever!"

There were a few typos in the text, and a couple of instances where the characters were identified with the wrong name, but certainly nothing that made it unreadable.

Hopefully, I caught those with this new upload.

I was a little disappointed that the romances weren't really developed, but I suppose that's often the case with actual fairy-tales as well.

LOL! actual fairy tales don't bother developing their main characters, never mind their relationships! Seriously though, developing all 5 relationships would have doubled the story's size without really adding to the game-play. I will however, definitely consider doing so for my next game.

...I didn't really get the sense that this was exactly a romance sort of story anyway, or at least not the typical, happy, true/pure/innocent love that you often find in fairy-tales.

I don't know what fairy tales you've been reading, but in a traditional fairy tale, when a character falls in love it's instant. They meet, and... BAM! That's it, they are in love. So they either marry right away, or shack up together right away. (Read: East of the Sun, West of the Moon and The Tinderbox.) Then their beloved gets taken from them (usually because they made a mistake,) and the rest of the story is a quest to get them back. The end. They may profess how much in love they are, but there's no actual romantic (or character) development in the story.
-- Only in Beauty & the Beast, the later version of the old myth Eros & Psyche, does the story spend time developing the relationship. No other fairy tale does this.

As pretty as some of the men may be, if these rather cruel and possessive creatures were my only options, I'd do everything in my power to remain single! But I'm not complaining; it was interesting to see this sort of semi-happy-with-a-vague-sense-of-uneasiness thing played out in the endings.)

Now you know why there was a Question Mark:

Happily Ever After...?

My only other criticism is that, at times, the dialogue felt too modern to fit with the setting, especially when the heroine says things like "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Sorry about that. I just couldn't come up with a non-modern phrase that meant the same thing.

I thought the music selection was excellent and very fitting with the mood; it flowed seamlessly to my ears. Overall, the piece was very nice! Thanks for making it!

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[OokamiKasumi]

That was quite fun. I really liked the humorous fairy tale theme. The art is amazing. I'm still working on getting all the endings though so far the wolf is my favorite character.
My favorite ending:

Is when she opens her own store. I thought the fan girls dressing in red for the wolf was cute.

I'm absolutely thrilled you like it!
-- It took me months to work out how to make the images look like that.
Wolf is my favorite too, even if he is pushy.

[Wright1000]

Downloading complete.

Will play it soon.

[OokamiKasumi]

Downloading complete.
Will play it soon.

Excellent!

[Nebi]

Very well done. You must be quite familiar with your photo-editing application(s). You applied their tools and features in creative ways that complement or enhance the visual impact of the story. It is evident that you put some thought into composing your scenes and the results are excellent. No complaints with the writing - it read like any good fairy tale you pull from the shelf. The placement and frequency of choices was also above par, allowing the player to make important decisions for outcomes that are difficult to predict, made more effective by the fact that many people have a preconceived notion of how fairy tales should end. Good choice of music as well.

I would say this game is near or at commercial quality - could probably use a graphic designer to spice up the user interface a bit, but otherwise...

Most game makers probably do put a decent amount of effort into their works, so I feel it is a combination of effort, experience (just noticed you have released two other games) and execution that makes this stand out. As is the case for all good games, I suppose.

Playing this makes me think long and hard about my own project.

Look forward to your next one. :]

[OokamiKasumi]

Very well done.

Thank you so much!

You must be quite familiar with your photo-editing application(s). You applied their tools and features in creative ways that complement or enhance the visual impact of the story.

Near constant experimentation with Photoshop and the wide array of artistic filters available is to blame for that. LOL!

It is evident that you put some thought into composing your scenes and the results are excellent.

Thank you. Slapping a simple standing figure against a background just didn't seem to carry the right impact for certain scenes.

No complaints with the writing - it read like any good fairy tale you pull from the shelf.

Thank you! I've been a fan of the older (unabridged) fairy tales for a very long time. I wanted the game to have that same feel to them.

The placement and frequency of choices was also above par, allowing the player to make important decisions for outcomes that are difficult to predict, made more effective by the fact that many people have a preconceived notion of how fairy tales should end.

LOL! Wow, I've never been complimented for being a sneak before. However, yes, I took blatant advantage of how people expect fairy tales to end and offered choices that seemed logical at key points.

Good choice of music as well.

Thank you! I was absolutely stunned to find music that good available for non-commercial use.

I would say this game is near or at commercial quality...

Thank you! Pity I can't afford to pay for commercial usage of anything. Not to mention that the bookkeeping for that many sources would be a nightmare to keep track of.

...could probably use a graphic designer to spice up the user interface a bit, but otherwise...

Agreed. My skill level at coding just isn't there -- yet.

Most game makers probably do put a decent amount of effort into their works, so I feel it is a combination of effort, experience (just noticed you have released two other games) and execution that makes this stand out. As is the case for all good games, I suppose.

Thank you. I try to build on my previous experiences.

Playing this makes me think long and hard about my own project.

Good games do that for me too.

Look forward to your next one. :]

Thank you so much for your extremely thorough review!

[OtomeWeekend]

I liked the wolf's route!!! I dunno why but i really liked it!!! *sorry for a really stupidly plain comment but i really meant it*

[Riviera]

Umm, your readme references something called Yaoi Story.. was it used for a different game? Maybe it's an injoke?

I'm curious either way!

--Introduction--

Thank you for downloading "Yaoi Story" ver. 1.0! I hope you enjoy it.

NOTICE: You MAY distribute this software freely in its original form,
but you MAY NOT modify, reuse, host mirror(s), and/or sell/rent
the parts of this work without express written permission from the
author: Morgan Hawke.

--To Load Game--

WINDOWS:
-- click YaoiStory.exe. This will open an installation wizard.
To begin game, click the "Yaoi Story" icon that will appear on your desktop.

IF the installer doesn't work for you, you CAN launch the game from within the
Game Folder. Just click the Icon.

Linux & Mac:
-- To begin game, Click on the "YaoiStory.exe" in the folder
where you installed this game.

[OokamiKasumi]

I liked the wolf's route!!! I dunno why but i really liked it!!! *sorry for a really stupidly plain comment but I really meant it*

That wasn't stupid at all!
-- I'm glad you liked that route. I'm glad you liked my game.

[OokamiKasumi]

Umm, your readme references something called Yaoi Story. was it used for a different game? Maybe it's an injoke?

I'm curious either way!

Oops! That's what happens when I copy-paste from the previous game. Sorry...

[Riviera]

Ahhh, don't worry overmuch. At least it's something easy to fix! For some reason I didn't notice the title in your sig, so I was really confused to see it in the readme.

I played Torrey & the Vampire, by the way, thought it was great.

I'm really glad I did read so many faery tales, this game sure put that to good use!

I knew at least some of the rules.. spoiler'd just in case, because they could be taken as pointers.

1. If someone is very insistent on getting something from you that seems small and inconsequential, it's because they know something you don't. Don't give it to them.

2. Know that anyone selling you anything magical or casting any kind of spell on/for you will usually be completely honest, but will also not give you all the information until it's too late. "You will be the rarest blossom, the fairest rose in the kingdom!" You become a flower. "You'll be pretty as a picture!" You become some kind of painting. Fae are the same way. Screw em all, really.

3. Uhh, never let the big bad wolf into your house?

4. Don't be mean or mistreat anyone or god help you because the one person you offend will be magical and they will make your life hell in some way or another. This one didn't show up but god did it happen all the time.

5. Fae are generally jerks. Pretty, but jerks. Even the nice ones are jerks. In fact, the "good" ones are almost more likely to be jerks than the "bad" ones. Tell them all to gtfo. Well, no, because then they might eat you. Or worse. Although oddly enough they will occasionally do nice things for you or give you stuff. More often than not you'll end up in trouble whether you accept it or not, so really, you've got no chance here.

There were a few typos, but it's about 2 am right now where I am so I'll run through it again tomorrow and PM you the ones I found.

I didn't install the game in the default location, and at first my computer couldn't find it when I clicked on the shortcut it put on my desktop. I manually browsed and found the exe file, and now it works fine, but I figured I'd mention that.

Now for the review!

Overall, it was fun to play, and all of the art was amazing, as I knew it would be. Kind of a shame so many of the routes were so short, but as you said, faery tales are like that! They meet, fall desperately in love, some old lady pops in and gives the lovely girl an apple or whatever, she's cursed/turns into a bird/etc and he saves her. The end.

I liked the nixie a lot but that was more for his looks and sensuality than anything deep. Dunno how they'll be later, but she shouldn't be disappointed in the bedroom at least!

I kinda felt bad for Tristan, but.. felt a bit.. I dunno, uneasy about him.

He's trying too hard. Plus the scenes that happen if you let him in the house indicate that he's got no problem simply taking what he wants. They might be happy, but it probably won't last. But we never see what happens after the happy end, do we? I still felt that any end with him wasn't really a good end, all things considered. Just my opinion. Not that any of them are completely good, are they?

It's probably easy to tell how I feel about magicians in general from the rule I mentioned so.. you know what I thought about his route.

Ass! No kiss for you! *smack*

I do wonder about that horse though..

Okay, I liked Oberon and Louis a lot too. I get the feeling they might turn out to be decent relationships, although in Oberon's case, being a fae, you know how they are... well. Caveat is

in Louis's case it's only a matter of time before she ends up dead and in Oberon's case, fae are fickle and he could fairly easily get bored of her and do something horrible without batting an eyelash.

"It's even bigger on the inside." ... Was that a reference to a certain sci-fi british show?

Faery tales have always been about people making Wrong Choices (I think you said that earlier), and What Happens After, though. Some of them get lucky and find a way to correct their mistake, make amends with the person who punished them, or simply wiggle out of it via a loophole, but not all of them... oooooh some of them were kind of horrid.

So yes, that's that. Review's over. Sorry it's such a wall of text.

It was very interesting! I hope to see more like it!