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PostPosted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 11:27 am 
Writing Maniac
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Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2003 8:51 am
Posts: 3319
Location: Germany
Completed: Metropolitan Blues, The Loyal Kinsman, Daemonophilia, The Dreaming, The Thirteenth Year, Adrift, Bionic Heart 2, Secrets of the Wolf, The Photographer
Projects: The Pilgrim's Path, Elspeth's Garden, Secret Adventure Game!
Organization: Tall Tales Productions
Twitter: @TallTalesVN
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Download Windows version
Download Mac version
Download Linux version
Playtime: ~1-2 hrs
Length: ~30,000 words
Game type: NVL-type visual novel
Themes: Fantasy, steampunk, philosophy, religion
Endings: 3
Pairings: none
Protagonist: Male or female, player's choice
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Plot: An episodic tale about a journey through the world, though not our world. The tale isn't told by the one who travels, a child named Astelli, but by the people Astelli meets during that journey. Yet why is it that these people remember Astelli so vividly? Only the end of the story will explain that.

Unlike many of my previous games, this one has no early "game over"-endings. Each playthrough will lead you through the entire story.

Have fun, and please bear with me. I don't do NVL stories often. This one came out more like an interactive picture book than your typical VN.

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Scriptwriter and producer of Metropolitan Blues
Creator of The Loyal Kinsman

Scriptwriter and director of Daemonophilia
Scriptwriter and director of The Dreaming

Scriptwriter of Zenith Chronicles
Scriptwriter and director of The Thirteenth Year

Scriptwriter and director of Romance is Dead
Scriptwriter and producer of Adrift

More about me in my blog
"Adrift - Like Ever17, but without the Deus Ex Machina" - HigurashiKira



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 7:53 pm 
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WAIT!! NO romance?! :(( that's sad...


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 5:09 am 
Writing Maniac
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Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2003 8:51 am
Posts: 3319
Location: Germany
Completed: Metropolitan Blues, The Loyal Kinsman, Daemonophilia, The Dreaming, The Thirteenth Year, Adrift, Bionic Heart 2, Secrets of the Wolf, The Photographer
Projects: The Pilgrim's Path, Elspeth's Garden, Secret Adventure Game!
Organization: Tall Tales Productions
Twitter: @TallTalesVN
try10 wrote:
WAIT!! NO romance?! :(( that's sad...

And that is ALL there is to say about the story?

THAT is sad.

_________________
Scriptwriter and producer of Metropolitan Blues
Creator of The Loyal Kinsman

Scriptwriter and director of Daemonophilia
Scriptwriter and director of The Dreaming

Scriptwriter of Zenith Chronicles
Scriptwriter and director of The Thirteenth Year

Scriptwriter and director of Romance is Dead
Scriptwriter and producer of Adrift

More about me in my blog
"Adrift - Like Ever17, but without the Deus Ex Machina" - HigurashiKira



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PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 11:31 am 
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Organization: TwinTurtle Games
try10 wrote:
WAIT!! NO romance?! :(( that's sad...

If you were expecting a romance, then you're obviously looking in the wrong place. When you're busy philosophizing and pondering over religion, there's usually very little time for dating.

That said, I downloaded the game and started playing through Chapter 1. Very interesting so far, but I think I found a few missing words here or there. Did you have a couple proofreaders look through the script before the release?

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I've swapped accounts to CheeryMoya, so this account is no longer in use. Refer to the new account if you want to contact me.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:14 pm 
Writing Maniac
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Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2003 8:51 am
Posts: 3319
Location: Germany
Completed: Metropolitan Blues, The Loyal Kinsman, Daemonophilia, The Dreaming, The Thirteenth Year, Adrift, Bionic Heart 2, Secrets of the Wolf, The Photographer
Projects: The Pilgrim's Path, Elspeth's Garden, Secret Adventure Game!
Organization: Tall Tales Productions
Twitter: @TallTalesVN
Rewritten Ennui wrote:
try10 wrote:
WAIT!! NO romance?! :(( that's sad...

If you were expecting a romance, then you're obviously looking in the wrong place. When you're busy philosophizing and pondering over religion, there's usually very little time for dating.

That said, I downloaded the game and started playing through Chapter 1. Very interesting so far, but I think I found a few missing words here or there. Did you have a couple proofreaders look through the script before the release?

Actually, one, my artist/musician, DaFool, read the whole thing. There shouldn't be many typos left, though; I don't think they'll be overly distracting.

_________________
Scriptwriter and producer of Metropolitan Blues
Creator of The Loyal Kinsman

Scriptwriter and director of Daemonophilia
Scriptwriter and director of The Dreaming

Scriptwriter of Zenith Chronicles
Scriptwriter and director of The Thirteenth Year

Scriptwriter and director of Romance is Dead
Scriptwriter and producer of Adrift

More about me in my blog
"Adrift - Like Ever17, but without the Deus Ex Machina" - HigurashiKira



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PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:16 pm 
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Projects: Kuro no Chou; 0.3 Second Lunch
It looks like this will be interesting ^^ I'll give it a go tomorrow!!

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 6:09 pm 
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Projects: FA:NG, ???
All right, these are my impressions on my first playthrough:

-If this is a stranger that our MC has never seen before, let alone knows the gender of, how do we know that their name is Astelli? Even though I assume that this entire story is retrospective, it kept bugging me throughout the intro.

-Ah, every chapter follows a new person. This really is like Kino's Journey.

-So everyone knows Astelli's name even when she hasn't introduced herself properly to them. That is interesting.

-I saw the thing with the stigmata coming, but it didn't make it any less visceral to read.

-The ghost, on the other hand, threw me.


-I liked that every person's response to Astelli determined how much she was able to help them.

-Whoa overarching plot


-So every decision you make ripples back in on later events in subtle ways. I know that's not something I should be surprised at in a VN, but I don't think I've ever seen it implemented this way before.

-And so Astelli became a god.


All in all, very nice. I was drawn in by the episodic fables and stayed to see how everything would culminate. Every perspective felt tangibly different, which was nice.

I'll probably play through again to see the other endings later, but it was a pretty epic game to play through just once. I genuinely enjoyed reading this. Good job!

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Forever Alone: Nerds the Gathering - A brotome game. (Nerdy Valentine's Day Card and small status update 2/14/14)
Night at the Hospital - Maiden voyage of Team Snugglebunny
Skylessia: Tale of the Boon - Epic fantasy whatsit, currently on hiatus.
Viking Pipsqueak Productions Blog (under construction)

I occasionally frequently draw other people's characters. Now offering delinquentization, medievalization, and cyborgification. Hit me up in PM if you want sprites for your KN or non-ren'ai VN.

EVEN IF THE TENDONS OF MY THUMBS TEAR INTO NOTHINGNESS, EVEN IF I GO NEARSIGHTED FROM STARING TOO HARD AT THE SCREEN, EVEN IF MY BODY IS CLOSE TO COLLAPSE FROM THE 72 HOURS I HAVE GONE WITHOUT FOOD! I WILL DEFEAT YOU!


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 2:17 am 
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Posts: 629
Completed: Finding A Murderer, Memory Loss, Crime Investigation, Stay away from the graveyard, Last Day at School, Lonesome, Email, Hired Gun, Dusk, Hired Gun 2, Man-at-arms, Hired Gun 3, The Phantom Caller, Street Girl, Free love, The Story of Isabel Claudia
I like philosophical stories, though I haven't written one myself. I played this one. The story was not bad, but there were some grammatical errors and typos. It was scary as well as a little funny.
But, I don't understand those people who are expecting romance in a philosophical story.
I also don't understand that when I played the game the first time, Astelli was a girl. But, when I played it again, he was a boy.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 3:45 am 
Writing Maniac
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Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2003 8:51 am
Posts: 3319
Location: Germany
Completed: Metropolitan Blues, The Loyal Kinsman, Daemonophilia, The Dreaming, The Thirteenth Year, Adrift, Bionic Heart 2, Secrets of the Wolf, The Photographer
Projects: The Pilgrim's Path, Elspeth's Garden, Secret Adventure Game!
Organization: Tall Tales Productions
Twitter: @TallTalesVN
Wright1000 wrote:
I also don't understand that when I played the game the first time, Astelli was a girl. But, when I played it again, he was a boy.

It's not that hard to understand. It's the first sign that people can change Astelli with what they do.
Omnificent wrote:
-If this is a stranger that our MC has never seen before, let alone knows the gender of, how do we know that their name is Astelli? Even though I assume that this entire story is retrospective, it kept bugging me throughout the intro.

I hope it makes sense in retrospect. After everybody knows who Astelli is, people talk about what happened to them during the thirteenth year.
Quote:
-I liked that every person's response to Astelli determined how much she was able to help them.

You can consider that one of the main themes of the entire story.
Quote:
All in all, very nice. I was drawn in by the episodic fables and stayed to see how everything would culminate. Every perspective felt tangibly different, which was nice.

I'll probably play through again to see the other endings later, but it was a pretty epic game to play through just once. I genuinely enjoyed reading this. Good job!

I'm curious... what was the name of chapter 13 on your first playthrough?

_________________
Scriptwriter and producer of Metropolitan Blues
Creator of The Loyal Kinsman

Scriptwriter and director of Daemonophilia
Scriptwriter and director of The Dreaming

Scriptwriter of Zenith Chronicles
Scriptwriter and director of The Thirteenth Year

Scriptwriter and director of Romance is Dead
Scriptwriter and producer of Adrift

More about me in my blog
"Adrift - Like Ever17, but without the Deus Ex Machina" - HigurashiKira



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PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 4:40 am 
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Projects: FA:NG, ???
The name of Chapter 13 for me was "From Above".
I'm guessing there's also a 'dark' ending where he/she does destroy the world after losing hope in his/her ability to change things for the better.


EDIT:
Just got "From Eye Level" through redoing the last choice. I'll go out on a limb and guess that the last ending is "From Below".

Image
Also, a small piece of fanart.

_________________
Forever Alone: Nerds the Gathering - A brotome game. (Nerdy Valentine's Day Card and small status update 2/14/14)
Night at the Hospital - Maiden voyage of Team Snugglebunny
Skylessia: Tale of the Boon - Epic fantasy whatsit, currently on hiatus.
Viking Pipsqueak Productions Blog (under construction)

I occasionally frequently draw other people's characters. Now offering delinquentization, medievalization, and cyborgification. Hit me up in PM if you want sprites for your KN or non-ren'ai VN.

EVEN IF THE TENDONS OF MY THUMBS TEAR INTO NOTHINGNESS, EVEN IF I GO NEARSIGHTED FROM STARING TOO HARD AT THE SCREEN, EVEN IF MY BODY IS CLOSE TO COLLAPSE FROM THE 72 HOURS I HAVE GONE WITHOUT FOOD! I WILL DEFEAT YOU!


Last edited by Omnificent on Mon Nov 14, 2011 6:06 am, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 4:49 am 
Writing Maniac
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Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2003 8:51 am
Posts: 3319
Location: Germany
Completed: Metropolitan Blues, The Loyal Kinsman, Daemonophilia, The Dreaming, The Thirteenth Year, Adrift, Bionic Heart 2, Secrets of the Wolf, The Photographer
Projects: The Pilgrim's Path, Elspeth's Garden, Secret Adventure Game!
Organization: Tall Tales Productions
Twitter: @TallTalesVN
Omnificent wrote:
The name of Chapter 13 for me was "From Above".

Ah yes. Interesting. Thought that wouldn't happen that often during a first playthrough. But maybe it's just you :)

_________________
Scriptwriter and producer of Metropolitan Blues
Creator of The Loyal Kinsman

Scriptwriter and director of Daemonophilia
Scriptwriter and director of The Dreaming

Scriptwriter of Zenith Chronicles
Scriptwriter and director of The Thirteenth Year

Scriptwriter and director of Romance is Dead
Scriptwriter and producer of Adrift

More about me in my blog
"Adrift - Like Ever17, but without the Deus Ex Machina" - HigurashiKira



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PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 7:53 am 
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Posts: 629
Completed: Finding A Murderer, Memory Loss, Crime Investigation, Stay away from the graveyard, Last Day at School, Lonesome, Email, Hired Gun, Dusk, Hired Gun 2, Man-at-arms, Hired Gun 3, The Phantom Caller, Street Girl, Free love, The Story of Isabel Claudia
Taleweaver wrote:
It's not that hard to understand. It's the first sign that people can change Astelli with what they do.


When Astelli was born, he/she was born as a girl or as a boy. But, how can the actions of other people change his/her gender. That's what I meant.
And, that's only what I don't understand. The rest of the story is okay. Whether Astelli will destroy the world or not, that will obviously depend on the people's actions. But they can't change someone's gender with their simple actions, can they?

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 8:00 am 
Writing Maniac
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Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2003 8:51 am
Posts: 3319
Location: Germany
Completed: Metropolitan Blues, The Loyal Kinsman, Daemonophilia, The Dreaming, The Thirteenth Year, Adrift, Bionic Heart 2, Secrets of the Wolf, The Photographer
Projects: The Pilgrim's Path, Elspeth's Garden, Secret Adventure Game!
Organization: Tall Tales Productions
Twitter: @TallTalesVN
Wright1000 wrote:
When Astelli was born, he/she was born as a girl or as a boy.

Okay, I need to spoiler this out:
As you read in chapter 12, Astelli was never really "born". Astelli was "made", artificially created. And to the creators, other things than gender were important. So Astelli never had a gender... until someone else came along.

_________________
Scriptwriter and producer of Metropolitan Blues
Creator of The Loyal Kinsman

Scriptwriter and director of Daemonophilia
Scriptwriter and director of The Dreaming

Scriptwriter of Zenith Chronicles
Scriptwriter and director of The Thirteenth Year

Scriptwriter and director of Romance is Dead
Scriptwriter and producer of Adrift

More about me in my blog
"Adrift - Like Ever17, but without the Deus Ex Machina" - HigurashiKira



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PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 10:16 am 
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Projects: Kuro no Chou; 0.3 Second Lunch
I've got her to be the approaching darkness. Bohooohoo... But alas, it's a nice work! Without a good art, but you keep me still reading it. You've made good timings with little pics you have, and that result in a nice flow of story.
Well I knew about this already, but you're a good writer!! Hope you succeed on your other projects too!!!

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0.3 second lunch


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:06 pm 
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That was an intriguing piece of work, although I can't say I understood most of it. It provided some interesting insights that I have never thought of before, and it was fun watching Astelli develop as a character. The way in which the story was told was also refreshing and suited the atmosphere of the story very well, and the storybook setting really made it feel like a journey (spiritual and physical).
At first, I was surprised that Astelli would suddenly become so moody and childish in the later part of the game, but in retrospect that made perfect sense and was in accordance with her character. However, I still find it hard to believe that such a young child could be so thoughtful, even if she was the Approaching Darkness.... Regardless, the innocence of a child combined with an uncanny clearness of mind made her quite an interesting character, and I soon grew fond of her.

I have only managed to obtain 2 of the endings so far and that last one is one stubborn little creature. So now I'm off to struggle with it some more!!


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