[Kinetic Novel] Soul & Heart

[Lumen_Astrum]

@RainbowMusicAddict

Yep, I really like dystopian settings, so The Giver is one of my primary inspiration in this.

I'm glad you liked it! And yes, I'm practically convinced now. There will be a sequel. I'd make it later on though XD

[Wright1000]

you're the reason I'm "angry" at the first place.

That's exactly the reason "I" told you to calm down. I don't want anyone to be angry because of me.

I'll not send a pm because I have no desire to argue about such trivial matters. It's your project, so it's your problem.
All I want to say is this-
You have no right to be angry at me, because I worked for you for free. I get paid to proofread news and articles for newspapers and news magazines, so you should be grateful because I proofread your script for free. And, I don't know where you stay, but I am sure it has got newspaper offices. Why don't you visit one of them and see how proofreading is done?
You want me to list out all the mistakes in a different page? That's not only unprofessional but it is also one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard.
I don't understand why you are so angry because of such a trivial matter. If you are having anger management problems, you should visit a psychologist.

[Lumen_Astrum]

Ohyeah. And look how YOU treated people that worked for you for free.
And plus, yes, I agree. It's my project. It's my problem. And I deal with it on how I want to deal with it. And most especially, I'm human.
Most especially, I'm not as "perfect" as YOU do. I accept if I made any mistakes. I admit to it.

[Wright1000]

I never said that you treated me badly. All I said was that you should pay more attention to your script.
I can't believe that to win an argument, you are bringing up a topic that is six months old.
That was a problem between me and two other people. You don't have to interfere. And that problem was solved in the remake.
That game was remade TWICE.
Second remake- http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 11&t=11680
First remake- http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 11&t=10914
Thank you very much. You taught me a nice lesson.
I am sorry that I helped you. I will make sure never to help someone again with proofreading for free in the future.

[Lumen_Astrum]

And there! Yes! The "lesson" was learned.
Finally, you learned something, no?
I learned something too. Not to have someone like you who doesn't really accept mistakes.
Don't worry. We both learned something, anyway. And that is what is important.
Oooh, Sunday tomorrow. Perfect. I have somebody that I'd pray for.

[Wright1000]

Do whatever you want. It's none of my business.
And, I do accept my mistakes. Check the thread you posted. I did apologize to both my team members when I made that mistake. I also edited your script twice just because you asked me to.
Just an advice- To win an argument, you should never revive an old topic.

[Lumen_Astrum]

Then sorry. Period.

[Wright1000]

Apology accepted.
(even though it was NOT a sincere apology.)

[RainbowMusicAddict]

YAY!
I'm happy to wait for a sequel D
and sorry if I was supposed to like white out the thing about the book o-o;
I don't understand these replying things >.>;;
But I'm glad to know someone other than me as enjoyed that book
I know a lot of people who found it boring e-e;

[SilverxBlue]

Okay, so I managed to finish it now and before I say my opinions I should report this bug first. (It's nothing big, really. I just thought I should report it just in case you release another version or something. ^^:)

When I check out the CG gallery and went back to the main menu, I tried clicking the Bonus section to open it again, and then I got this....

Code: Select all

I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

While running game code:
JumpOutException: bonus

-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------

Full traceback:
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\bootstrap.py", line 276, in bootstrap
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\main.py", line 354, in main
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\main.py", line 95, in run
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\execution.py", line 261, in run
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\ast.py", line 630, in execute
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\python.py", line 978, in py_exec_bytecode
  File "common/_layout/screen_main_menu.rpym", line 11, in <module>
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\ui.py", line 237, in interact
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\display\core.py", line 1798, in interact
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\display\core.py", line 2322, in interact_core
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\display\layout.py", line 714, in event
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\display\layout.py", line 714, in event
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\display\layout.py", line 714, in event
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\display\screen.py", line 297, in event
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\display\layout.py", line 714, in event
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\display\layout.py", line 714, in event
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\display\behavior.py", line 623, in event
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\display\behavior.py", line 204, in run
  File "common/00screen.rpy", line 354, in __call__
  File "C:\Documents and Settings\PC-1\My Documents\Downloads\Soul & Heart-win32\renpy\exports.py", line 988, in jump_out_of_context
JumpOutException: bonus

Windows-XP-5.1.2600-SP3
Ren'Py 6.13.7.1646
 

Anyways, I really liked the it, it was definitely worth it to spare almost an hour of my time, I only told myself that I'd play for only ten minutes since my brother is already badgering me to finish everything so he could use the PC, but I was so hooked to this KN I ended up repeatedly screaming "Pwede ba wait lang! Five minutes pa!" (Translation: Just wait for a moment, okay? Just five more minutes!) at him.

The music fits the scenes very well, it makes me feel like that you've spent a tremendous amount of time and effort when you were searching for them, and the art was very good!

But I think the CG intro of Calypso is a bit off.

Sirius did say that Calypso somehow looked hostile or something like that, but when I stared at her CG, I can't sense any form of hostility at all, she looks kind of gentle to me. (I think it's just me though, so don't mind this. XD)

Well, I've said everything I could think off both music and art-wise so I think I should move on to the story.
I dunno how to put this, but the storyline was quite... intriguing. There was something about it that made me continue reading, I didn't get bored with all of the scenes. (Which is really surprising, since almost all of the VNs I've played has that one scene that's got me absentmindedly clicking and clicking because I find it rather boring.)

The only negative thing I could see was the ending/ the "sort of" confrontation scene with Calypso, it feels like it was anti-climactic or something like that. But since a lot of people has pointed it out, then please don't mind this.

Anyways, I shall be eagerly awaiting for the sequel!

And on a side note, my favorite character is definitely Cetus, I really loved how badass she is! And on another note, whenever Sirius interacts with Calypso, I have this sudden desire to punch her in the face.

So I guess she definitely fits the antagonist role to a T.

I would like to apologize if you find this comment too long, but to tell you the truth, I might have added some more, I'm just too afraid that my huge wall of text would scare you. D:

[jaypee_1]

Downloading this currently it better be good also was wondering what this kinetic novel about, a story about prisoner is something new to me .

[KuroSushi]

Whoa... The plot was very nice! And because of this, it would be better if the storyline were longer and more developed and well, of course a sequel will be more than good .D And some of love to emphasize the phrase "Feelings are, as they say, forever." wouldn't hurt thought :3

Sometimes was too much text in the textbox and it was confusing. Also in NVL mode, too much pauses thought, disappearing and appearing text made my eyes hurt at times T.T

Being the first KN I played I thought I would be bored but it doesn't happen. It was a very interesting novel, and even if the final was kind of left open I think its fine because fits the game very well. Music was also a quite good choice. So, good job .D

[Aileo]

I'll admit I was a bit confused by the story a bit. And I really wish I knew how the current world came into existence. However, the story was a terrific read.

I really got your message. The CGs were really good and the music fit the atmosphere very well. I know I seem to be repeating what others have said already, but I hope you'll consider my small review. Thank you very much for a great story and I look forward to your future projects.

[Lumen_Astrum]

@SilverXBlue: Bu-bug? D: I remember fixing that bug before... better check it again. Thanks!
And nah, I like long critiques. Don't worry. Your comments are all helpful, thank you for that

@others: Thank you so much! It was my first, glad you liked it :3

[CombatEye]

Just finished it. Thought the art (black and white with limited color) and the music fit really well together. Overall tone was good.

I did see one error that hasn't been mentioned yet.

I think it's when Sgt. C leaves from her first appearance she says "Chow, chow". You meant Italian for bye, right? I believe it's spelled Ciau.

Good luck with the sequel!