The Phantom Caller

[Wright1000]

THE PHANTOM CALLER

Andren Freeman is in love with his boss's daughter, Scarlett. But he is too shy to confess his love. Even though he dislikes her spoiled behavior, he is deeply in love with her. But she is not aware of that, and he doesn't have enough courage to confess his love. So, will he able to win her love? Play the game to find out.

Genre: Boy pursues Girl (with a little bit of horror)
Violence: Yes
Sexual Content: None
Playtime: Less than one hour

Download now.
(for Windows, linux and mac)

[Stargirl18]

Hello Wright1000. Thw download link is down. Can you please reupload the download link? I really whant to try this game.

[Arkon]

Visual or Kinetic Novel?

[fleet]

@Stargril18, The download link worked for me. I suggest you try again.
@Arkon, This is a visual novel.

very respectfully,
fleet

[manga_otaku]

Hey there! Congratulations on finishing another game so swiftly!
Like all your other games I like the story line of it! I noticed a few mistakes here and there, but nothing majorly wrong. For example, boss' doesn't need another s after the apostrophe and rooms is one word Other than that I really enjoyed it! Keep up the work Wright1000!

[Wright1000]

@ Stargirl18: It's working fine for everyone. If there is something wrong with your connection, maybe you should try going to the cybercafe.

@ Arkon: It's a visual novel with two endings.

@ manga_otaku: Thank you very much for the compliment. About the apostrophe, I think it differs from place to place.

[Desu_Cake]

I really like the premise and plot of this story, it's nice to see people actually making short stories instead of mini-novels
That said, it felt a bit ... rushed, as in, there wasn't enough time to get to know the characters, a bit more dialogue would have been nice. Also, there was too much infodumping at the start, which mostly didn't seem necessary. Show, don't tell dear.
But yeah, it was still a nice little read.

[Wright1000]

Glad you liked it.

That said, it felt a bit ... rushed, as in, there wasn't enough time to get to know the characters, a bit more dialogue would have been nice.

Maybe you haven't tried any of my earlier works. That's how I write short stories.

Show, don't tell dear.

You really didn't expect me to show what kind of girl Scarlett was, did you?

Also,

there wasn't enough time to get to know the characters

contradicts with

Also, there was too much infodumping at the start, which mostly didn't seem necessary.

[Desu_Cake]

You really didn't expect me to show what kind of girl Scarlett was, did you?

Uhhh... yes? Most of the stuff the reader knows about her is just told in a monologue by Andren.

Also,

there wasn't enough time to get to know the characters

contradicts with

Also, there was too much infodumping at the start, which mostly didn't seem necessary.

[/quote]

Let me phrase that better: There was too much obvious infodumping at the start. I really don't get why "Hannah" was mentioned at all, since she isn't mentioned again IIRC.

[Wright1000]

You are not being logical. The information wasn't dumped. It was presented very colorfully compared to my other games.
By the way, how many visual novels have you created? None.
People who haven't created a single VN should not speak harshly to someone who did.
Especially when it's non-commercial.

[azureXtwilight]

By the way, how many visual novels have you created? None.
People who haven't created a single VN should not speak harshly to someone who did.

My, my, that was really arrogant. Many many game makers consider what their fans have to say. Even commercial game-makers like Jack_Norton listened to what we have to say in the WIP thread because he wants to improve. People will comment because we're players, and will definitely say what's in our mind whether that is positive or negative. If you dislike the comment, just say it politely. No need to be rude, man. Or if you don't want us to comment, just post the game in a blog and disable all comments.

Yeah, I was going to comment but decides not to because I don't want to be answered like this.

[Wright1000]

My sincere apologies if my statement sounded rude.
I wasn't trying to be rude or arrogant. All I wanted to say was that saying something like "the information was dumped" was a bit harsh.
I don't mind if people tell me about my game. But I don't want to hear just harsh words after I worked so hard on a VN. Everything can be said in a nicer way.
So, feel free to leave feedback, but no abuse.

[Taleweaver]

"Infodump" is a term that sounds harsher than it's usually meant; you use it to refer to situations in which a writer chooses to present a lot of background information to the viewer at once, which can come across awkward but doesn't have to. Large parts of The Lord of the Rings are infodump (and almost all of the Silmarillion, if you want to put it like that), so you're in good company.

Not that I think that Desu_Cake was trying to compare you to Tolkien.

[Mink]

Yeah, unfortunately I have to agree with Desu_Cake about the 'show, don't tell'.

Andren TELLS us that Scarlett is a spoiled brat/party girl, but there is no evidence that she actually is. When he

sees her at a bar with a different guy, and eavesdrops on a their conversation, he automatically assumes that Scarlett is having sex with him and jumps to the conclusion that Scarlett just screws with guys.

Scarlett doesn't seem like a bad person; ANDREN does. He comes off like a judgmental jerk more than anything else, so why should I believe at all about Scarlett's behavior? There is such a thing as an 'unreliable narrator'.

[Wright1000]

Good point.
But I think you certainly saw Scarlett smoking at the office. It was her father's office. If the daughter of the boss smokes in the office, whose example will the other workers follow? I think that shows that she is a spoiled brat.
Besides, I never said that Scarlett is a brat. Andren did.