The Knife of the Traitor[NaNoRenO 2012] Translations!!!

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SusanTheCat
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Re: The Knife of the Traitor [Comedy/Mystery/GXB][NaNoRenO 2

#46 Post by SusanTheCat »

This is an awesome game.

My husband kept looking over while I was playing it. He was very confused. ;)

Gervase FTW!

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Re: The Knife of the Traitor [Comedy/Mystery/GXB][NaNoRenO 2

#47 Post by icecheetah »

Kicked me right out of a bad mood this did! Thanks!
I got ALL the bad endings in my first playthrough, unless Corvis has one. I got the fanservice special (and the best part was laughing at Male Os), and used the walkthrough for the rest.
And I like Mr.
Suicide god
Lilja. The fun detail of Corvis trying to protect Os in Lilja's ending. Yep... I liked the comedy here a lot.
And I think it's neat how the title screen changes when you get a new ending.
I like the twist too.

The following points may have been brought up, but if I stay on the computer anymore I'll get a headache, so sorry if I'm repeating.
I just can't help but think of Yume Nikki whenever I access the menu. It's the sound.
Oh, when I access Gallery, and hit return, it always goes to the game rather than the main menu.

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Re: The Knife of the Traitor [Comedy/Mystery/GXB][NaNoRenO 2

#48 Post by Kizhusa »

*Downloads I am so exited >w<

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Re: The Knife of the Traitor [Comedy/Mystery/GXB][NaNoRenO 2

#49 Post by saguaro »

This game was a lot of fun. You clearly have a strong artistic vision. I don't usually try for all the endings, but I did on this one, though I had to use the walkthrough to get ANY of the good endings because those paths weren't obvious to me.
I didn't have any problem with tone shifts from comedy to pathos. The comedy parts were funny, and the more serious aspects explained a lot and developed the characters. Since Os is, by all accounts, a person who has done some really terrible things, I did feel like a serious exploration of her motivations was warranted, and I left feeling like I understood her POV on some issues.

I do think that the love aspect of it is a little sketchy. I think having Os gain friendship, or the start/rebuilding of a friendship, would have sat better with me. I mean, she's cute and all, but come on. She's vindictive as hell.

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Re: The Knife of the Traitor [Comedy/Mystery/GXB][NaNoRenO 2

#50 Post by Anna »

Finished!

I really, reaaaally loved this :D! Not only was the setting unique and awesome, you also had very interesting and cute characters and the art and CGs were awesome. My favourite ones are Vosges and Corvus, because they're adorable and kind, but I liked Lilja and Gervase too! Also:
it was adorable that she asked them to be friends, I think they would make good friends if they tried <3
Gosh, I really love this VN <3, the extra with Lilja was awesome too. Only tips I can give are to make some choices a little more sensical, for example:
saving Corvus seems like a good move to get his path, but instead it leads to Gervase's path.


Please, make more VNs haha.

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Re: The Knife of the Traitor [Comedy/Mystery/GXB][NaNoRenO 2

#51 Post by clua »

I keep closing chrome...all my replies are gone......
I wanted to say that Ive done a character popularity poll on my developer blog>> xxx
The one who gets more votes, might have some extra content on the fanservice section(Maybe a secret extra scene with Os?)
You can suggest also what you wish to have on that section ehehe
Ginger wrote:AHAHAHAHAHAHA i am just one really slow clicker it turns out ;A;

WELL, I got them all and absolutely adore this game clua(: I can't wait for the hurtful wall too!!

Good luck with all future projects!
orz...Im sorry again...And thank you so much for the future support! XD
icebluehost wrote:I like this VN! It's short but cute and well-made. Your art is very unique and I wish there were more CGs I could admire/drool upon. lol.
though I noticed that one of them wasn't colored. The one in Corvus' good end path.


And out of all the characters I felt like you placed Lilja in the bottom in terms of character or personality. Not that he's boring as a character (he's actually the most interesting one for me). But to me it felt like he lacked something. Or he wasn't as...focused? No that's not the word...I don't know how to explain it, but he didn't have 'depth' or 'essence' the way the other characters did. I'm under the impression that you intentionally made Lilja like a character purely for comic-relief. You did put in that he's
a 'patron for suicides' and about his complaining and about being too depressed all the time.
I was actually disappointed that there wasn't more to his ending than what was there. LOL Well that's just how I felt about it. I imagined that Lilja had some deep dark secret or past or something that made him stand out like the rest. Though I still like how he's insane.

I'm not sure if this counts as a spoiler but I'll tag it just to make sure.
You know, when I saw the word "fanservice" in the special bonus feature the game has I was expecting to see all of the guys shirtless XD Though the pic of the main character in a red dress isn't bad either. It's just...being a GxB game, the audience you're expecting ought to be female, and fanservice would make you automatically think shirtless, hot guys. just saying. The in-game fanservice (Lilja) cracked me up.
Overall I really enjoyed this game ^^ I hope you make more soon!
aaaa Im so pissed off that all that I replied you was gone..well then again..

about Lilja XD
He really was ment to be out of place...And also I couldnt bring myself to write more romance involved on his route since he didnt had some background story with Os as the other 3 guys...Its most like the most favorated there was Corvus because he knew Os since little...I didnt want to force things more than I forced Vosges and Gervase to like her in the end.lol
Like I talked to Anarchy I wish I could had more time to develop more his route, I wanted to make more gods to appear but welp the visual is already done and I dont feel right with second parts ;_;---Although we are working to get another version of the game...So I think we can add a little bit more to Lilja haha
About the fanservice I KNOWW...;____;
The beach scene was ment for that XD...but I didnt have time to draw something decent(semi naked guys takes me ages to draw ;_;)
Also there is fanservice of Os because..I like to draw girls better hehe
Thank you so much for your thoughts! ;D!
MelonCandy wrote:I just played this today and....

LOVED IT! <3 It was funny, mysterious, scary? and romantic at the same time! I kept laughing at the names you gave them before they were actually introduced.

Totally worth playing <3<3
Thank you so much!! Im very glad you enjoyed it!
Auro-Cyanide wrote:
I think some of the serious parts were really nice and gave cause for things. I especially liked Os's speech on why she did what she did. It's more the specfic mentions on what she did that seemed a little too realistic. It would make sense talking about that type of thing if this was quite a gritty piece talking about pyscological maschoism where despite everything (inclusing death of family/torture) they still fall in love, but I prefer the funnier tone for our novel. Vosges hat was quite good I think. Maybe make up some stuff like that or be more vague about what it was she did. I was trying to find a good way to explain what I meant, but I don't think I did a very good job ;_;
Yes I know what you ment XD....I really liked how nippon ichi games are written(Maybe they were my main inspiration)Like disgaea or better, Makai Kingdom...which most of the time was very hilarious but It had times that it was very serious
We will soften some parts...but not that softer! hehe...Hey BTW X
DiamondRoseTears wrote:
clua wrote: Whaaaa *dying right now*
I love him. *Changes mind* GERVASE IS THE BEST!!!
I like him like a puppy but he is more handsom in the human form!!!
*Breath Breath!!*
GERVASEE <3 *Puppy eyes*
XDD Why you guys like Gervase so much?? Is because..he is a puppy ? lol
Arcanum wrote:Just finished all routes before going to sleep on a matter of principle XD (Where's the honor in that?! I had to use the guide!) Coming to thank you for the amazing game. I wish you have time, later, to make something else with those characters: this felt like only a prologue of sorts, and it left me waiting eagerly for something else! It's amazing how you made me fall for those characters is such a short time, and my favorite was Corvus! He was honestly too funny in his bird form X3 Lilja came close in second for me. He was also rather adorable for
a suicide god… that's very depressing!
Of course, I got the bad endings first XD I did like the interplay of seriousness vs. comedy, it worked well for me and made the serious moments a little more serious. The bad endings were fantastic at that!! They came like a shock. My first good ending was Gervase one, then Lilja's. I do admit I had to read the guide to work on getting Corvus and Vorges' endings.
I feel so honored that you didnt went to sleep to play this ;__;
Im ashamed and I should confess that the game was ment to be more harder than Its actually now...lol Anarchy suggested some changes so I decided to be more gentle with you guys ;_;...
Well mayority tells...The game totally needs to be balanced! And weee Im glad you liked Lilja XDD...Vosges I didnt think you would be so umpopular...I made you cute in purpose!
Anna wrote:Oho, I was wondering who was the culprit but I didn't see THAT coming XD! Nice one~

I also think it's really cool you learn about the main character bit by bit as the novel progresses and that each bit of info is interesting exactly because you can't access that information easily or hear it at the beginning. So far I only got a bad end (oh how typical XD), but I'll read more of this when I get the chance!
Goshhh ;_; Bad ends everywhere! I read your thoughts down there:
Anna wrote:Finished!

I really, reaaaally loved this :D! Not only was the setting unique and awesome, you also had very interesting and cute characters and the art and CGs were awesome. My favourite ones are Vosges and Corvus, because they're adorable and kind, but I liked Lilja and Gervase too! Also:
it was adorable that she asked them to be friends, I think they would make good friends if they tried <3
Gosh, I really love this VN <3, the extra with Lilja was awesome too. Only tips I can give are to make some choices a little more sensical, for example:
saving Corvus seems like a good move to get his path, but instead it leads to Gervase's path.


Please, make more VNs haha.
Wee you like Vosges ;_; and about the choices
;_____;----I guess It wasnt any obvios..Gotta check that!Thank you so much for playing it!! btw here shh!
Im totally making more! I dont know if they would turn good as this but I will try my best! Anarchy helped a lot too!
Pixelen wrote:Just wondering... do you get a bad end if you skip? Because the second time I played I skipped through, and even though I was doing everything right for Vosges' good ending, I kept getting his bad ending? If so, that's kind of annoying... I don't always have time to play every path all the way through, even though I want all the different endings! The character art and story for this game is adorable by the way, and I also love the music!
Nooo you shouldnt! When I tested the extra scene..I had to play like 4 times each route...so I did skip a lot
Let me know if you continue having that problem D:!
Raindrops wrote:Noooo Gervase! orz
XDD
SusanTheCat wrote:This is an awesome game.

My husband kept looking over while I was playing it. He was very confused. ;)

Gervase FTW!

Susan
XDD why he was confused?
Thank you so much for playing it!!...I can see the future and bet that Gervase would be the one that gets the extra scene..lol
icecheetah wrote:Kicked me right out of a bad mood this did! Thanks!
I got ALL the bad endings in my first playthrough, unless Corvis has one. I got the fanservice special (and the best part was laughing at Male Os), and used the walkthrough for the rest.
And I like Mr.
Suicide god
Lilja. The fun detail of Corvis trying to protect Os in Lilja's ending. Yep... I liked the comedy here a lot.
And I think it's neat how the title screen changes when you get a new ending.
I like the twist too.

The following points may have been brought up, but if I stay on the computer anymore I'll get a headache, so sorry if I'm repeating.
I just can't help but think of Yume Nikki whenever I access the menu. It's the sound.
Oh, when I access Gallery, and hit return, it always goes to the game rather than the main menu.
Ohh Im very glad it worked for you on that way XD
about what you pointed
ohMYGOOD..yes you got me..I did use yume nikki sfx...And I think(But I dont remember if I did)used also from .flow...But now that I have time I will choose another one..orz
And I will fix that also..Thank you so much for pointing it ;D!
Kizhusa wrote:*Downloads I am so exited >w<
I cant wait to hear what you think!
saguaro wrote:This game was a lot of fun. You clearly have a strong artistic vision. I don't usually try for all the endings, but I did on this one, though I had to use the walkthrough to get ANY of the good endings because those paths weren't obvious to me.
I didn't have any problem with tone shifts from comedy to pathos. The comedy parts were funny, and the more serious aspects explained a lot and developed the characters. Since Os is, by all accounts, a person who has done some really terrible things, I did feel like a serious exploration of her motivations was warranted, and I left feeling like I understood her POV on some issues.

I do think that the love aspect of it is a little sketchy. I think having Os gain friendship, or the start/rebuilding of a friendship, would have sat better with me. I mean, she's cute and all, but come on. She's vindictive as hell.
Thank you for playing it!
About the routes...Well thats why you get only Corvus to kiss Os XD...Like I said it before I couldnt bring myseft to write a deeper romance with Vosges, Lilja and Gervase because of the little lenght of the visual and also because they deeply hated her.
But I choose to let a little hint of romance anyway, and thats because I didnt want to dissapoint the players who were actually playing this to get the guy they liked. Im very sorry to dissapoint you on this part ;_;

BTw...Holy Moly your avatar..I LOVED Legend of Mana...Squaresoft was so beautiful back then...
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Re: The Knife of the Traitor [Comedy/Mystery/GXB][NaNoRenO 2

#52 Post by Kizhusa »

wha omg omg
the culprit is herself? awesome twist :D
and
omg that "wtf" name :lol:
I look forward to more vns from you *A*

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Re: The Knife of the Traitor [Comedy/Mystery/GXB][NaNoRenO 2

#53 Post by Auro-Cyanide »

clua wrote:
Auro-Cyanide wrote:
I think some of the serious parts were really nice and gave cause for things. I especially liked Os's speech on why she did what she did. It's more the specfic mentions on what she did that seemed a little too realistic. It would make sense talking about that type of thing if this was quite a gritty piece talking about pyscological maschoism where despite everything (inclusing death of family/torture) they still fall in love, but I prefer the funnier tone for our novel. Vosges hat was quite good I think. Maybe make up some stuff like that or be more vague about what it was she did. I was trying to find a good way to explain what I meant, but I don't think I did a very good job ;_;
Yes I know what you ment XD....I really liked how nippon ichi games are written(Maybe they were my main inspiration)Like disgaea or better, Makai Kingdom...which most of the time was very hilarious but It had times that it was very serious
We will soften some parts...but not that softer! hehe...Hey BTW X
Awesome! Cause I really liked the horror elements as well. Os would have been no where as awesome if she wasn't previously the Queen of all Darkness. Seriously, it was awesome to see a female main character, who while being evil, took all this power in her stride and did things on her own terms. So much love for Os <3

*squee* OMG!!!!!! Thank you! I love it, it's so awesome! *rolls on floor out of happiness* Wait, wait, wait, I'll do something for you too! *waves arms* Os is my favourite and Camille likes Corvus so please wait for me! ///>_<///

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Re: The Knife of the Traitor [Comedy/Mystery/GXB][NaNoRenO 2

#54 Post by Camille »

I don't know what counts as a spoiler and what doesn't, so I'll just put it all here. XD
Disclaimer: I've only had time so far to play through Corvus' route, but oh my god I loved him so much. ;___; He is the first EVN character that I have felt so strongly about in a long time, but I just adored him. (clearly I'm not the only one xD) At first, he seemed like the typical servant/butler-type character, but when his backstory was revealed and I got to see just how much he cared about Os, it was so touching. He did everything for her even though he thought she would hate him for it... To me, I feel like it's impossible for her to truly be with anyone else since he's been there for her all this time and understands her so well. ;A; I just love him and I love their relationship.

UMMM my Corvus fangirling aside... I actually did like the other characters a lot, just not as real romantic interests for Os. I'm looking forward to playing their paths and seeing how things end up, but I really don't think anyone will be able to dethrone Corvus in my heart. XD If I could draw, I would draw so much Corvus fanart, but I'm trying to get Auro to do that instead, so wait for it!! If I get inspired enough, I might be able to write you some fanfiction soon, though. ;____; I hope you won't judge it too harshly once it's done.

Other notes... I really liked the music, the interface, and the art. (I just feel very strongly about characters and story--honestly, you could have drawn this VN with stick figures and I still would have loved it) Your art style is so smooth and beautiful and all the characters were each very distinctive. They all fit the setting very well, design-wise, and your BGs looked great with the characters and the UI. Even though the UI was not changed a whole lot from the Ren'Py default, you changed it enough that it really fit the color theme/atmosphere of your game and I thought it was great. The music fit the game very well, too, and I loved all the songs very much.

The only things I would nitpick would be stuff that Auro and others have already said... I think that considering how much the other three characters hate her, they warmed up to Os a little too fast, but you only had a month to write the story, so that couldn't be helped. I had similar problems while writing RisAmo, as well. All things considered, you did a wonderful job and I really enjoyed the game. My biggest complaint would just be that it was so short! ;__; I wanted to see more Os and Corvus... I didn't want it to end. ;A; Anyway, I'm greatly looking forward to your future games. <3 Keep up the great work!

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Re: The Knife of the Traitor [Comedy/Mystery/GXB][NaNoRenO 2

#55 Post by StupidBunny »

Ahhhh I really liked the art style, but I wasn't expecting to like the game this much. <3

In spite of the game's length I actually did feel that there was a lot more of a character arch for everybody than many longer games manage to pull off. I actually went through similar feelings as some characters about Os... didn't like her in the beginning but really, really warmed up to her.
Also, the fanservice segment was tons of fun. I almost clicked right through it, but I am so glad I didn't.

Thank you very much, this was really inspirational. <3

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Re: The Knife of the Traitor [Comedy/Mystery/GXB][NaNoRenO 2

#56 Post by DiamondRoseTears »

clua wrote:
DiamondRoseTears wrote:Whaaaa *dying right now*
I love him. *Changes mind* GERVASE IS THE BEST!!!
I like him like a puppy but he is more handsom in the human form!!!
*Breath Breath!!*
GERVASEE <3 *Puppy eyes*
XDD Why you guys like Gervase so much?? Is because..he is a puppy ? lol
Haha well he was a bad puppy that's why!! :D

I like bad and innocent people!! :D

Gervase <3
D. for: Diamond
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Re: The Knife of the Traitor [Comedy/Mystery/GXB][NaNoRenO 2

#57 Post by Kizhusa »

DiamondRoseTears wrote:
clua wrote:
DiamondRoseTears wrote:Whaaaa *dying right now*
I love him. *Changes mind* GERVASE IS THE BEST!!!
I like him like a puppy but he is more handsom in the human form!!!
*Breath Breath!!*
GERVASEE <3 *Puppy eyes*
XDD Why you guys like Gervase so much?? Is because..he is a puppy ? lol
Haha well he was a bad puppy that's why!! :D

I like bad and innocent people!! :D

Gervase <3
I am still trying to get his good ending >w<

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Re: The Knife of the Traitor [Comedy/Mystery/GXB][NaNoRenO 2

#58 Post by Aileo »

The whole thing's in spoilers.
Okay I caved and looked at the spoilers to get everyone but Corvus' good endings. His was kind of obvious, even though I missed rescuing him from the dog, where I thought I did something wrong until I got the CG. The others, not so much. I don't think you need to change the choices, but I think you need to make it a little more obvious in the dialog that this or that is a choice you should take.

Let me tell you that I really love Corvus. I have a thing for master/servant relationships, so yeah. Mr. WTF Fanservice Lilja is super awesome. Gervais is a cute dog. Vosges looks a toad from Mario, which is always a win in my book. Os is one of my favorite heroines that I've played as since I started playing VNs. I like that she can show a vulnerable side, and yet still be awesome and strong. She had a change of heart, but didn't become a total doormat like others who make a change like she does in a story.

I liked how the title changed depending on who you got from the last good ending. The art is to die for. The gui is very well done even without full Ren'Py customization. My favorite part is the music. It fits very well with the horror setting.

But I think the horror could have been handled a little differently. I mean I am all for the comedy part of it, but everyone was so mad at her for some serious things, it was a bit of a mood whiplash at points. It doesn't really detract from my enjoyment, but it was a bit of a distraction.

All in all, I really liked your game, and I think clua and Anarchy did an awesome job, especially for a month long project.

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Re: The Knife of the Traitor [Comedy/Mystery/GXB][NaNoRenO 2

#59 Post by Morishita »

I actually played this on the day you posted it up *Like right before you even had the both links up, I kept checking in to see if the link I needed was up.* I jus haven't posted anything yet but I do have a lot to say so I'll just put it in a spoiler tag and forgive me if some of my words are missing letters. I'm using my sister's laptop so the keyboard is a little buggy.
ahem *clears throat* now I shall begin my tL;dr
First of all I think my favorite path would have to be Gervase. When I got his bad ending I was really scared when he said that he was really hungry. I think you did a wonderful job playing on the human's fear of being eatten aliv, taken she was dead but it still terrified me because I wouldn't want that to happen to me and I belive that a good story does this, they manipulate human fears like being barried alive or eatten a live or not being accepted and use that to pull in the reader. Very good job!! I love seeing people use those story telling techniques. Also I was really touched by his good scene and didn't think it was odd or out of no where when he forgave her. It really reminded me on how dog's treat there owners. Even if the owner did wrong it is still willing to come back to them because of the friendship they had before. I really almost cried because I thought that it was so sweet and touching for them t become friends again even after she made so many mistakes. He didn't hold it agianst her after she learned her fault and decided to change. Again very VERY good job!!

Now I did like the other paths as well but my least favorite was Corvus but that was just because it's hard for me to root for the guy who is already in love with her but I didn't see the development of it so it doesn't hi me very hard but I don't expect that with a story made in a month. I still loved the cg and thought that his character was funny at times, like when he was laughing at Vosges for being smelly. I think you did a good job at making his character I'm just not always a big fan of master and servant but I'm just picky about love stories so don't worry about that :D

Vosges path was cute and he was my thid favorite before Corvus. I did have mixed feelings about those two becuse his people's posion did kill her people but she also did wrong by him to so it was interesting.

Now Lilja had me cracking up! I loved how he just bursted out with laughter. You did a wonderful job at showing how crazy he was! I just loved it!! I laughed out loud when he was saying that he's crazy and becuase his personality was so off the wall and because you didn't add ay romantic parts with him it made him even more likable for me because he was so different from the others. Like you kind of want to be around him just to see what he will do next :D
Okay I think that's all I have to say for now. Great job once again on the game. I also really like OS because she had such a human side to her. You did a great job with her and I think her personality fit well with each character. I don't think I can say this enough but GREAT job on the game and your story telling!

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Re: The Knife of the Traitor [Comedy/Mystery/GXB][NaNoRenO 2

#60 Post by 9:19 »

They blink! They blink differently sometimes! I love you.

Seriously though, congrats on your release. I adore Corvus' design; his florescent blush is asdfjlcometomenao. On second thought, your art just tickles me in general. I need more of it in my life. Fawning aside:

The choices were mostly self-explanatory, which I enjoyed, April being the month of finals and thus a time when my brain is maxed-out as far as executive function is concerned. I only used the walkthrough for Corvus' path because I was impatient XD Also, I avoided the Mario Mushroom because he had major B.O.

I have no complaints about the characters I did go after. Lilja is wonderfully nuts. It took me physically removing myself from my keyboard when he spoke to complete his path in its entirety because every time he laughed I cracked up and accidentally hit "next" thanks to my shaking shoulders, consequently whatever else he said went unread.

Gervase would probably like boob mouse pads. I went with the flow at first, and the flow led me to Gervase (or more accurately, the kitchen, and it lies). I have to admit, the first time Os pulled out her Handy Dandy Notebook, I totally thought it was Blue's Clues. C'mon, she's green, he's blue, we've got a mystery and you edited the thread on April 1st.

Okay, okay. Sorry.

Last but not least, Corvus is so Sebastian. I'm a sucker for master-servant relationships so he's a winner from the get-go. I could go on but this post is much too long so I'll optimize my feelings: fan disc? XD

The green skull and the moving text box are neat touches as well!

No comment on the music choice because I mute everything always.

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