Tell Her a Story [NaNoReNo 2012]

Finished games are posted here, once they've been tested and are ready for wide release.
Post Reply
Message
Author
User avatar
kaleidofish
Veteran
Posts: 292
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:25 pm
Completed: Tell Her a Story (Nano12), In This Dream of Ours, The Mishka Effect (Nano14), Saving Zoey (Asylum Jam 2014), Fairly Dangerous (Nano15), Palette Swap (Nano16)
Projects: see my site!
Organization: Kaleidofish Studios, Team ANARKY
Tumblr: kaleidofish
Deviantart: kaleidofish
Location: Silent Hilladelphia
Contact:

Tell Her a Story [NaNoReNo 2012]

#1 Post by kaleidofish » Sun Apr 01, 2012 7:27 pm

Image

Today's the day that Cole will finally propose to his girlfriend Shannon. As he reaches for the ring, however, he realizes he's made a grave mistake! He gave the jacket with the ring in it to his best friend Naima, who's on a bus heading far, far away. And, worst of all, Shannon has somewhere to be right after they finish their meal. Now, armed with a pencil & a pack of index cards, he has to stall for time while waiting for Naima's return by distracting his girlfriend by drawing and telling her a story.

Features:

120+ uncolored index card illustrations by a non-artist! And better yet, many of them are blurry!
9 (mostly inaccurate) story genres to choose from! You pick the setting for his story!
An original soundtrack by a non-composer that's even better when muted (yeah)!
20,000 words that should have been proofread!
Ren'Py standard GUI, except for the main menu!
A Bx1G romance story that pretends to have more endings than it really has!

Everything made by:
kaleidofish of ouroboros[connect]
Yes. Everything. The story, the coding, the music, the art.

Screenshots:

Image
Image
Image

Download:

MediaFire - Windows
GameFront - Windows
GameFront -Mac
GameFront - Linux

It's still April 1st where I'm living, so I made by the NaNo deadline. Whew. This is my first released game. Thanks for playing! :D
avatar by 15385bic
Redwood Crossing * THE MISHKA EFFECT [NaNo14] * PALETTE SWAP [NaNo16] * FAIRLY DANGEROUS [NaNo15] * Twitter

Visit kaleidofishstudios.com to learn more about what I'm working on.

User avatar
Camille
Eileen-Class Veteran
Posts: 1226
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2011 2:43 pm
Completed: Please see http://trash.moe
Projects: Spirit Parade
Organization: Cyanide Tea
Tumblr: narihira
Deviantart: crownwaltz
Skype: thievinghearts
Contact:

Re: Tell Her a Story [NaNoReNo 2012]

#2 Post by Camille » Tue Apr 03, 2012 1:59 am

"I'm the kind of guy that looks at the height of the coaster, reads the coaster's miles per hour speed, thinks "hell no," and says yes because I love spending time with her. Have you ever met someone that you look at and you just want them to be happy forever?" THAT JUST KILLED ME. Oh my gosh, Cole is so cute and I just really loved seeing him freak out over Shannon and his possibly ruined plans.

I went for Noir -> Martial Arts -> Sci-fi.

The index cards were a really nice touch. I did think they were a little blurry and out of focus (if you could just improve on that, it'd be great), but the idea was awesome and I loved being able to pick the story genres. It really felt like I was there in the restaurant watching Cole tell this lame--I mean, awesome--story. XD

Things did start to get a little iffy for me after the second part of the story (after picking Martial Arts) mostly because of Cole/London's "nice guy" complex... Like he felt he had the right to tell Rachel/Shannon who she should date and got all jealous even though he'd just told her that hey should "slow down". Even after Rachel dumped Trevor, London was all "BLARRRR" about what she did because she dumped Trevor but *still wouldn't be with him*. That kind of behavior/attitude from guys just really rubs me the wrong way. D: Rachel's wishy-washy attitude was also a little tiring. Like, I wasn't really sure if she was trying to flirt with London or not... And then all of a sudden she dumped her boyfriend. 0_o She would switch between being all "Trevor is annoying/possessive/etc!" and then "Don't speak badly of him, he was just protecting me!"

But at the same time, I know that the index card story is probably not a 100% accurate representation of how their relationship progressed and that certain concepts were probably simplified so that it would all fit in one story, so I pressed on. XD And my objections are mostly personal and it could just be me that has a problem with how those things progressed. Anyway, seeing how Cole treats Shannon outside of the story is still just a huge awwww sort of thing. I loved his inner monologues about her and about their relationship and the actual proposal was adorable.

Having the NVL mode for the real story was great. The switches between the NVL real life part and the regular index card parts were greatly executed and the very first part of the index card story where Shannon nitpicked about her boobs made me laugh out loud. I also really liked the main menu even if it was a little blurry. The only part of this entire package that I had a problem with, really, was the music. I found it distracting and felt like it only fit the mood some of the time.

But still, I think this is an amazing showing considering that you did everything yourself (and in only a month). Hats off to you! I really enjoyed playing, overall. :D Best of luck with future works!
1/2 of Cyanide Tea | Break Chance Memento (BL) | Spirit Parade (Otome) | Portfolio/List of Works/Contact
I'm not around LSF very much these days; please contact me via Skype/Twitter. Ask me things!

User avatar
Ginger
Regular
Posts: 72
Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 10:12 pm
Location: U.S.
Contact:

Re: Tell Her a Story [NaNoReNo 2012]

#3 Post by Ginger » Tue Apr 03, 2012 3:52 am

"He hadn't felt that way since he wrestled a bionic shark with his bare hands" AHAHAHAAH THAT MADE MY DAY! I've only gotten one play through done so far, but that was absolutely hilarious. The notecards definitely added to the humor. Oh god, the London and Rachel action story had me cracking up(: Good work, I really love this game! "So it's like buying a chose-your-own-adventure book that someone ripped out all of the choices and forces you to stick to one path."

User avatar
SusanTheCat
Miko-Class Veteran
Posts: 952
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2010 9:30 am
Location: New Brunswick, Canada
Contact:

Re: Tell Her a Story [NaNoReNo 2012]

#4 Post by SusanTheCat » Tue Apr 03, 2012 1:15 pm

I love the artwork -- mitten hands and all. You must have worked hard because there are a TON of images. Good job!

The story is nice. You really got the feel of someone making up a story on the fly.

This VN is just too adorable for words.

Susan
" It's not at all important to get it right the first time. It's vitally important to get it right the last time. "
— Andrew Hunt and David Thomas

User avatar
kaleidofish
Veteran
Posts: 292
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:25 pm
Completed: Tell Her a Story (Nano12), In This Dream of Ours, The Mishka Effect (Nano14), Saving Zoey (Asylum Jam 2014), Fairly Dangerous (Nano15), Palette Swap (Nano16)
Projects: see my site!
Organization: Kaleidofish Studios, Team ANARKY
Tumblr: kaleidofish
Deviantart: kaleidofish
Location: Silent Hilladelphia
Contact:

Re: Tell Her a Story [NaNoReNo 2012]

#5 Post by kaleidofish » Wed Apr 04, 2012 11:48 am

Thanks for playing my game, everyone. I'm happy that people think it's hilarious. Comedy writing is something that's completely new to me, but it's turned out to be more fun for me than I realized. I figured if people didn't think the writing was funny, then they'd think the art was funny, and vice versa. As for the music, um, that's something people can either laugh at or cringe at. I set a goal that I had to reach for myself, so I had to make it. :D

@Camille -
Thanks for your long comment! I'm glad it made you laugh! I see what you mean in regards to London during the 2nd part of the story. I should have kept everything more light-hearted and positive throughout. To me, he comes off as the kind of guy that wants to put on a "good face" for everyone. He doesn't want to come off as anything other than a good guy, which is why he behaves that way. Plus, Cole had to tell his story in a certain way to make himself look better - it's very possible that he exaggerated everything, took out details, and forced others in.

Rachel's behaviors also came off as weird because of the whole storytelling thing. He's either telling it in a way to make her seem better, or maybe even a little worse. Shannon doesn't take the time to contradict him, so it's up to us (the audience) to figure out how much of what he's saying is really true or not. So what I'm saying with these paragraphs are that you're right, it's not totally 100% accurate to what went on. I hope I didn't come off as mad - I'm not.

I don't think I'll ever release a second version of this, but if I did, the music would be changed, and I'd actually scan in the index cards. I had to rely on my cellphone for the index card pictures. The truth has been revealed. XD
Thank you for the good luck wish. My future projects have much better music direction than this one. :)

@Ginger -

I love it when people quote lines they think are funny. I'm happy that it made you laugh! :D Thank you so much for your comment! I'm glad I was able to make your day.

@SusanTheCat -

Thank you! :D Halfway through I realized that I probably bit off more than I could chew, but I had to press on anyway. I've learned a lot about art direction by doing this project. Namely: plan, plan, PLAN OUT YOUR ILLUSTRATIONS BEFORE YOU START. (Not you in particular, but the yelling was for me... except, not for me, since I'm probably not going to draw for a VN again).
avatar by 15385bic
Redwood Crossing * THE MISHKA EFFECT [NaNo14] * PALETTE SWAP [NaNo16] * FAIRLY DANGEROUS [NaNo15] * Twitter

Visit kaleidofishstudios.com to learn more about what I'm working on.

User avatar
SusanTheCat
Miko-Class Veteran
Posts: 952
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2010 9:30 am
Location: New Brunswick, Canada
Contact:

Re: Tell Her a Story [NaNoReNo 2012]

#6 Post by SusanTheCat » Wed Apr 04, 2012 2:12 pm

kaleidofish wrote:
I had to rely on my cellphone for the index card pictures. The truth has been revealed. XD
I don't know. The cellphone pictures added to the "These are rough pictures drawn by a guy in a restaurant" Because of the angle you took the picture at, you can tell that facial expressions were erased and redrawn to get a different expression. A scan might remove that.


Susan
" It's not at all important to get it right the first time. It's vitally important to get it right the last time. "
— Andrew Hunt and David Thomas

Kaiyume
Regular
Posts: 33
Joined: Mon Sep 05, 2011 7:42 pm
Contact:

Re: Tell Her a Story [NaNoReNo 2012]

#7 Post by Kaiyume » Mon Apr 09, 2012 2:47 pm

Hi, Kaleidofish! I was looking forward to reading something by you.

Anyway, I have to say that this is a pretty nice game. I was entertained, at least. ^-^ The main character was awkward and lovable, and the interaction between the couple was very believable.

The drawings were amazing in all their mitten-handedness (that's how I used to draw hands when I was in fourth grade, haha). I think the pictures could've been a little less blurry at times, but they really complimented the game. I actually liked seeing the spots where the faces were erased and redrawn-- for me, it seemed more realistic and funny.

As for the music... well, I can see that you kept it simple, haha. It didn't add much to the story, but it didn't take away from it, either. If it were to change, my suggestion would be for the music to fit the kind of story he's trying to tell (like techno-ish music for the sci-fi story).

Overall, it was a lighthearted, fun read. (I would've liked to have more endings, but I think that it's already fine as it is. ^-^)

User avatar
kaleidofish
Veteran
Posts: 292
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:25 pm
Completed: Tell Her a Story (Nano12), In This Dream of Ours, The Mishka Effect (Nano14), Saving Zoey (Asylum Jam 2014), Fairly Dangerous (Nano15), Palette Swap (Nano16)
Projects: see my site!
Organization: Kaleidofish Studios, Team ANARKY
Tumblr: kaleidofish
Deviantart: kaleidofish
Location: Silent Hilladelphia
Contact:

Re: Tell Her a Story [NaNoReNo 2012]

#8 Post by kaleidofish » Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:45 am

@ SusanTheCat - There's something to be said for the roughness of everything. You're right. Scanning in the drawings might make them too clean. Part of the charm is that the whole story is so messy.

@ Kaiyume - Thanks! Glad to see you around (and thanks again for helping out with In This Dream of Ours - it'll be my next release). I had planned for there to be more endings for Tell Her a Story, but because I didn't budget my time properly, I had to settle for one. I guess you could call this one an interactive kinetic novel. I'm happy you liked it. :D
avatar by 15385bic
Redwood Crossing * THE MISHKA EFFECT [NaNo14] * PALETTE SWAP [NaNo16] * FAIRLY DANGEROUS [NaNo15] * Twitter

Visit kaleidofishstudios.com to learn more about what I'm working on.

User avatar
Obscura
Eileen-Class Veteran
Posts: 1370
Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2012 6:58 pm
Projects: Coming Out On Top
Location: United States
Contact:

Re: Tell Her a Story [NaNoReNo 2012]

#9 Post by Obscura » Mon Jun 04, 2012 4:07 am

Ok, I thought I'd play this after I finished my game in July, but I couldn't wait.

First of all, I really, really loved your writing. Even in entertaining VN's I usually end up "skipping" through a lot of conversation. I didn't skip through this ONCE!!! If you knew how rare that is for me...well, you should pat yourself on the back for keeping my entirely too-short attention span enthralled.
The whole thing gave off a "Scott Pilgrim" vibe to me. Probably because of the RRR. A good thing.

Really creative use of your index cards. I loved your art. Clever "reuse" of one of the side characters. Heh.

I didn't really have any criticisms. Seems like the main couple have a thing about defenestration? :lol: The only issue I had with the characters is that I kept thinking, "You better leave a big fat tip, Cole!" (I guess I have too many bad memories of the food service industry...I could kind of feel myself wanting to shake him.)
Terrific job. Looking forward to more of your work. You have a knack for pacing, you never let the story start withering or getting dry.
Coming Out On Top - An Adult Gay Dating Sim
Purchase Here
Demo
Tumblr(18+) Twitter Facebook

User avatar
kaleidofish
Veteran
Posts: 292
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:25 pm
Completed: Tell Her a Story (Nano12), In This Dream of Ours, The Mishka Effect (Nano14), Saving Zoey (Asylum Jam 2014), Fairly Dangerous (Nano15), Palette Swap (Nano16)
Projects: see my site!
Organization: Kaleidofish Studios, Team ANARKY
Tumblr: kaleidofish
Deviantart: kaleidofish
Location: Silent Hilladelphia
Contact:

Re: Tell Her a Story [NaNoReNo 2012]

#10 Post by kaleidofish » Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:14 pm

Awwww, thank you so much, Obscura! If you're interested in more of my work, I've got another visual novel on the forums called In This Dream of Ours and I'm working on my next one right now (but since I saw that you read my blog, you probably already know that). :D

I'm honored that this was so unskippable for you. I'm really happy. I think I've read your post a dozen times already. Thank you, thank you, and thank you again.
avatar by 15385bic
Redwood Crossing * THE MISHKA EFFECT [NaNo14] * PALETTE SWAP [NaNo16] * FAIRLY DANGEROUS [NaNo15] * Twitter

Visit kaleidofishstudios.com to learn more about what I'm working on.

User avatar
michi 18
Veteran
Posts: 487
Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2012 10:11 pm
Completed: none at the moment's notice
Projects: The Universal Hope;Wisdom Revival
Organization: Pridal Heavens Inc.
Location: Philippines
Contact:

Re: Tell Her a Story [NaNoReNo 2012]

#11 Post by michi 18 » Sun Jun 10, 2012 6:30 am

is this kinetic or visual?
Projects: (I hope you'll support them ) Wisdom Revivalhttp://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 16&t=16488 and Universal Hope (Uni-H)http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 43&t=16452.

User avatar
kaleidofish
Veteran
Posts: 292
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:25 pm
Completed: Tell Her a Story (Nano12), In This Dream of Ours, The Mishka Effect (Nano14), Saving Zoey (Asylum Jam 2014), Fairly Dangerous (Nano15), Palette Swap (Nano16)
Projects: see my site!
Organization: Kaleidofish Studios, Team ANARKY
Tumblr: kaleidofish
Deviantart: kaleidofish
Location: Silent Hilladelphia
Contact:

Re: Tell Her a Story [NaNoReNo 2012]

#12 Post by kaleidofish » Sun Jun 10, 2012 3:44 pm

There's only one ending, but, at certain points, you can change the genre of his story.
avatar by 15385bic
Redwood Crossing * THE MISHKA EFFECT [NaNo14] * PALETTE SWAP [NaNo16] * FAIRLY DANGEROUS [NaNo15] * Twitter

Visit kaleidofishstudios.com to learn more about what I'm working on.

User avatar
Auro-Cyanide
ssǝʇunoƆ ʇɹ∀
Posts: 3059
Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2010 9:02 am
Completed: http://auro-cyanide.tumblr.com/visualnovels
Projects: Athena
Organization: Cyanide Tea
Tumblr: auro-cyanide
Deviantart: Auro-Cyanide
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Tell Her a Story [NaNoReNo 2012]

#13 Post by Auro-Cyanide » Fri Feb 01, 2013 11:48 am

This game is this week's Group Play http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 53&t=19182

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users