Ribbon of Green [Friendship|Voiced]

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Coren
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Ribbon of Green [Friendship|Voiced]

#1 Post by Coren » Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:45 pm

Click here to join the Fanart-Fanfiction Contest for attractive prizes, and the chance to cameo or show up as a side character in Crimson Rafflesia! :)

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RIBBON OF GREEN
"I'm sorry for everything," says the girl who lived on borrowed time.

Image

Ribbon of Green focuses on hope, strength and friendship within this competitive world of nothing but survival of the fittest and elitism. In a society like this, if you lose hope, nobody would help you. It will be all over.

This is the story of two female students who strived to survive in such a system. The system where the 'elite' students are treasured and well-maintained, while the rest are simply left behind, with no hope to the world...

Characters

Image

Clarisse
Image
Voiced by: Adoxographist
Hanyuan's best friend since primary school, until the last year of secondary school, where her grades could no longer keep up to get into a good enough school.


Hanyuan
Image
Voiced by: Stephanie Quinn
Clarisse's best friend since primary school. A clever student and a bookworm, could get into a prestigious junior college with ease. But what happens to her best friend who was left behind?

Screenshots:
Image

Features
- Full voice acting!
- Two endings
- 5,000 words
- 9 CGs
- CG Gallery
- Music Room
- Epilogue


Download
DOWNLOAD HERE!
Last edited by Coren on Sun Mar 09, 2014 4:31 am, edited 11 times in total.

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Re: Ribbon of Green [Short VN, Friendship]

#2 Post by DarkSpartan » Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:25 pm

Downloading for a look-see. Will edit with a review and rating when I'm done.
I'm going to get off my soap-box now, and let you get back to your day.

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Re: Ribbon of Green [Short VN, Friendship]

#3 Post by jjbproductions » Sat Apr 28, 2012 1:43 am

Wow, I just played through your game and it was superb. I will probably give a review on it on the brutally honest review page once I get the 2nd ending and take a look at the extras.

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Re: Ribbon of Green [Short VN, Friendship]

#4 Post by Veniae » Sat Apr 28, 2012 6:33 am

Congrats on the release, dear! I'll play through it to see how the completed thing looks.

Hint: I think it's going to look awesome.

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Re: Ribbon of Green [Short VN, Friendship]

#5 Post by azureXtwilight » Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:00 am

Congrats for the release! Downloading now, will tell you my review once I'm done :)
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Re: Ribbon of Green [Short VN, Friendship]

#6 Post by ludeshka » Sat Apr 28, 2012 4:50 pm

It sounds interesting!
I'll play it and get back to you. :)

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Coren
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Re: Ribbon of Green [Short VN, Friendship]

#7 Post by Coren » Mon Apr 30, 2012 6:42 am

Thanks, guys :)

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Re: Ribbon of Green [Short VN, Friendship]

#8 Post by PyTom » Fri May 04, 2012 5:11 pm

So - having just about the right amount of free time - I played through this game.

It starts off quite slowly, as it takes a while before the POV character encounters another person. But once she does, the game picks up - by the end, I found it quite moving. (To the point where when I went back to clear the second ending, I found myself feeling bad about making the important decision.)

The art was somewhat stylized, but I think it worked really well here - the CGs were especially effective. The music was good, but some of it was inappropriately dramatic for the start of the story - it was too dramatic for the moment. (By the end, it couldn't be too dramatic if it tried.)

The text was a bit on the small side, and with the font chosen, it made the game harder to read than it need be. Bigger text lets me lean further back, making it easier to take on the text and images holistically.

Overall, it's an example of how a story can make you feel something while not requiring a huge time investment.
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Re: Ribbon of Green [Short VN, Friendship]

#9 Post by tuna_sushi » Fri May 04, 2012 9:21 pm

Congratulations on finishing your first VN!
I just finished this and I love it :)
The only problem for me is just the text I agree with PyTom. It's a bit hard to read. ^_^"
Other than that it's a good VN.
Sorry for my bad english ^_^''
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Re: Ribbon of Green [Short VN, Friendship]

#10 Post by Lumen_Astrum » Sat May 05, 2012 8:01 am

I beta-tested it, and I'm gonna drop by and give my opinion.

Firstly, I was really looking forward to this ever since it was still entitled Final Return. :P So seeing it, finished, I was really excited when I get to help you on the art a little.

Starting the story, I was a bit confused at the beginning with the POVs, but then again, for mostly the story, it was Clarisse's POV anyway, so I didn't really mind. And just like PyTom, the text was a bit hard to read, but it's like I have bad eyesight to complain about it. XD
seriously, I cried. And I can't say anything else than "awesome!" if I cried. Awesome.

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Coren
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Re: Ribbon of Green [Short VN, Friendship]

#11 Post by Coren » Sat May 05, 2012 9:12 pm

Thanks so much for the critiques, guys. :) I really appreciate it. I'll take note of it next time.

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Coren
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Re: Ribbon of Green [Short VN, Friendship]

#12 Post by Coren » Sat May 12, 2012 11:51 am

Will anyone like the idea of a voiced version? :)

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Re: Ribbon of Green [Short VN, Friendship]

#13 Post by Anna » Sat May 12, 2012 12:02 pm

Hi~

I think you did well for your first VN ^^. I liked the idea and the art you made, and yay for a custom title screen! Overall, it seems like a lot of effort was put into it.

Aside from what I've already read, here's some additional critique about the story:

In the first post you write;
Ribbon of Green focuses on hope, strength and friendship within this competitive world of nothing but survival of the fittest and elitism. In a society like this, if you lose hope, nobody would help you. It will be all over.

This is the story of two female students who strived to survive in such a system. The system where the 'elite' students are treasured and well-maintained, while the rest are simply left behind, with no hope to the world...
But I think the consequences of dropping out, the reasons why it's so terrible when you're a 'bad' student, aren't explored fully in the VN. It seemed average to me and if I hadn't read the synopsis you wrote, I think I would have been more confused.

Try showing people why it's so bad, what the real consequences are. Show her leaving school and then ending up doing dirty work, people looking down on her, interactions between her and her family. Show me, don't tell me ;)! I think it would help in gaining a better understanding of her situation and taking it more seriously.

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Coren
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Re: Ribbon of Green [Short VN, Friendship]

#14 Post by Coren » Sat May 12, 2012 9:33 pm

Thanks for the critique, Anna! :D And yeah, I see how it can be a problem. ^^; I'll keep that in mind, and thanks!

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Re: Ribbon of Green [Short VN, Friendship]

#15 Post by ema369 » Sun May 13, 2012 11:16 pm

Ahh! T_T It was so sad that I actually ended up tearing up. What a beautiful story! The graphics were amazing as well. I really hope I can read/play more of your work. Thank you. Also, along with what Anna said "show me don't tell me". That's what my creative writing teacher always said. Show me with words, don't just tell me. Make me see it. You have a little more freedom in VNs because you can actually show pictures, but using words to show is good too.

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