School Finals [slice of life]

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aoimi
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School Finals [slice of life]

#1 Post by aoimi » Sun May 27, 2012 1:36 pm

It's finals again, but your seat neighbor who's the only girl who ever have spoken to you is skipping to college. As soon as class is over she comes ask you what you will do for finals. This may be the last change you have to speak to a girl again.

This is my first visual novel, hope some people will play it.

This visual novel is very short, however there are many choices. The visual novel used free for use resources which are great. The author draw this original character for this visual novel and did her best, "She petty and cute, also antisocial looking to make friends before she goes to college."
Download Link:http://www.mediafire.com/?lk7c5kxb69pi7tk
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Last edited by aoimi on Sun May 27, 2012 9:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Taleweaver
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Re: School Finals [slice of life][NaNoRenO 2012]

#2 Post by Taleweaver » Sun May 27, 2012 4:24 pm

Uh, technically, this is not a NaNoRenO game. NaNoRenO 2012 means "completely written and programmed between March 1, 2012 and March 31, 2012". This one, well, probably isn't.
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aoimi
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Re: School Finals [slice of life][NaNoRenO 2012]

#3 Post by aoimi » Sun May 27, 2012 9:44 pm

Taleweaver wrote:Uh, technically, this is not a NaNoRenO game. NaNoRenO 2012 means "completely written and programmed between March 1, 2012 and March 31, 2012". This one, well, probably isn't.
ok, i changed it, i thought NaNoRenO was going on now, sorry.

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Re: School Finals [slice of life]

#4 Post by Applegate » Thu Jun 07, 2012 7:48 am

First of all: good job finishing a story. I like that you went the extra mile to get an original sprite. I do think you'd do well to work on grammar, especially in prose. There are also a few typoes (a pare of legs comes to mind), and the game size seems excessively large (62mb!) for the content delivered.

For the art, I recommend studying how folds in clothing work. The face has a cute, unique style, which is great, but the clothing looks like it was randomly given folds, which stands out as weird.

The amount of choice given is nice. Having the "You" speak only in choice options further reinforces that it's "You" talking to the girl rather than "You" controlling a character; it is certainly a good idea.

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Re: School Finals [slice of life]

#5 Post by Ran08 » Tue Jun 12, 2012 4:30 am

It's extremely short, but it's okay. And I like the fact you drew the sprites. :D

In my own experience, it's easy for me to draw on my paper, but on a computer I can't even draw decent stick figures. Hahahaha. So I admire people who draw for their own VNs.

Oh, and honestly, the choices were pretty random, maybe too random. I got 3 or 4 endings I think, and one of them was the "good ending" I think. All in all it's a good start for making VNs. :D If you would take a newbie's advice, I'd say just make a it have more complex story.

And Applegate's right. The file size is so big!

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Re: School Finals [slice of life]

#6 Post by aoimi » Mon Jul 09, 2012 2:45 am

Thank you for the advice and praise, I'll work hard.

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