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School Finals [slice of life]

Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 1:36 pm
by aoimi
It's finals again, but your seat neighbor who's the only girl who ever have spoken to you is skipping to college. As soon as class is over she comes ask you what you will do for finals. This may be the last change you have to speak to a girl again.

This is my first visual novel, hope some people will play it.

This visual novel is very short, however there are many choices. The visual novel used free for use resources which are great. The author draw this original character for this visual novel and did her best, "She petty and cute, also antisocial looking to make friends before she goes to college."
Download Link:http://www.mediafire.com/?lk7c5kxb69pi7tk
Image

Re: School Finals [slice of life][NaNoRenO 2012]

Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 4:24 pm
by Taleweaver
Uh, technically, this is not a NaNoRenO game. NaNoRenO 2012 means "completely written and programmed between March 1, 2012 and March 31, 2012". This one, well, probably isn't.

Re: School Finals [slice of life][NaNoRenO 2012]

Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 9:44 pm
by aoimi
Taleweaver wrote:Uh, technically, this is not a NaNoRenO game. NaNoRenO 2012 means "completely written and programmed between March 1, 2012 and March 31, 2012". This one, well, probably isn't.
ok, i changed it, i thought NaNoRenO was going on now, sorry.

Re: School Finals [slice of life]

Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 7:48 am
by Applegate
First of all: good job finishing a story. I like that you went the extra mile to get an original sprite. I do think you'd do well to work on grammar, especially in prose. There are also a few typoes (a pare of legs comes to mind), and the game size seems excessively large (62mb!) for the content delivered.

For the art, I recommend studying how folds in clothing work. The face has a cute, unique style, which is great, but the clothing looks like it was randomly given folds, which stands out as weird.

The amount of choice given is nice. Having the "You" speak only in choice options further reinforces that it's "You" talking to the girl rather than "You" controlling a character; it is certainly a good idea.

Re: School Finals [slice of life]

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 4:30 am
by Ran08
It's extremely short, but it's okay. And I like the fact you drew the sprites. :D

In my own experience, it's easy for me to draw on my paper, but on a computer I can't even draw decent stick figures. Hahahaha. So I admire people who draw for their own VNs.

Oh, and honestly, the choices were pretty random, maybe too random. I got 3 or 4 endings I think, and one of them was the "good ending" I think. All in all it's a good start for making VNs. :D If you would take a newbie's advice, I'd say just make a it have more complex story.

And Applegate's right. The file size is so big!

Re: School Finals [slice of life]

Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2012 2:45 am
by aoimi
Thank you for the advice and praise, I'll work hard.